Ru-dudu

Ru ate my new flip flops today. That made me sad. I went to my house and did some research this afternoon. Mike stayed home while painters came over to paint a few things around his house. Mike is in his bonus room laying hardwood floors. He thinks it is going to take a few more hours. He had to rent power tools from Lowes, so he doesn't want to have to rent them for an extra day. Things are coming along nicely, and he and Ru should officially be moved in by the end of October. His house is covered with drop cloths right now, but after the painters are done, the house should almost be ready to show.

I started a scrapbook for Mike and I. I was going to wait and give it to him as a wedding gift, but I was too excited about it and gave it to him as an engagement gift instead. He really liked it. We are busy lately, but we are happy. Knowing that all the work we are doing right now is to ensure things for our life together in the future keeps us going. His mom is taking me to a bridal expo tomorrow to start looking for vendors for the wedding. Very exciting!

For Sale

At a Glance

· Located in Birkdale Village

· 1 1/2 story Saussy Burbank Bungalow

· 3 bedroom/2 bath

· Detached 2 car garage

· Hardwood Floor throughout downstairs

· Honey Maple Cabinets

· Updated light fixtures

· Spacious attic storage

· Fenced in backyard

· Gas fireplace

· Recessed entertainment nook (up to 50 inch TV)

Neighborhood Amenities

· Large pool

· Tennis courts

· Planned activities

· Walking trails

· Ponds

· Steps away from shopping

This well-built (2002) Saussy Burbank 3/2, 1580 sq. ft., 1 1/2 story Bungalow is located in the popular Birkdale Village area, close to luxurious shopping plaza and movie theater. Spacious corner lot overlooks two small parks on two sides. Upstairs master bedroom suite with walk-in closet, reading nook, and small bonus room. Master bath complete with double sinks and garden tub. Designer paint color schemes throughout the house make it warm and inviting. Beautifully landscaped and lighted front and backyards. Numerous updates including crown molding, updated lighting, smooth top stove, in-cabinet microwave, hardwood floors, wired for surround sound, window treatments, and more.

Recently engaged couple looking to consolidate houses and sell quickly! We are willing to work with your realtor. For more pictures, go to
http://worksmartlivehard.com/

Currently For Sale by Owner. If you are interested in seeing this home, contact Mike with the contact information below. Thanks!

Cell: 704-728-2098

Home: 704-655-2514

E-mail: mw99nd@gmail.com

Key Words: For Sale by Owner, FSBO, Home for sale, Huntersville, NC, North Carolina, Charlotte, real estate, Birkdale Village, Cornelius

I Love My Fiance!

I almost said, "I love my boyfriend!" to Mike this afternoon, and I realized, wait a minute, he isn't my boyfriend anymore! Heehee. I love him sooo much, and we couldn't be any happier right now. I am staying at my house tonight, and he is working on his room at his house tonight. It feels weird to not be together tonight. I will be glad when we don't have to commute between houses anymore. Oh well, everything is good in the world.

It's Official!

Mike Proposes
Originally uploaded by pamela_j_karr

We went to Savannah this weekend, and our moms were there to witness our engagement. Check my flickr album for more pictures (and even more coming soon). Just got back in town, so we are off to bed.

I am so happy!!

Perspective

Today was a very stressful day; I felt like I was letting everyone down. I get stress from my PhD program because I am not dedicated full-time to research. I get stress from work because we are understaffed with way too many demands on our team. I get stress from my friends and acquaintances when they think I should be doing something different/better. I feel like I never have time for myself lately. No pedicures, no time to exercise. Gaining weight because of added stress; tired all the time. The cats are hissing, and the dog is crying. More items pile in my inbox. More bills.

But then I have to take a deep breath, and I just take a look at Mike. He loves me so incredibly much, and I am so incredibly happy. Putting things in perspective, life is good. I am stressed. I am spread too thin. But I am lucky, and I am happy. I will not let all the demands I have on me ruin this - the best - time in my life.

Mike's titanium ring came in the other day, and he has been stressing that my ring would come in too late and ruin his plans (which I don't know but have some guesses). He is so adorable. But, my ring came in today. He is horrible at surprises because he is so excited himself, so he showed it to me. It is absolutely beautiful Yeah, but he won't let me actually touch it yet (too funny).

He was being really supportive today, and it really helped me out a lot. He is a lot tougher skinned than I am (since I am not tough skinned at all). I cry when I am sad, upset, angry, frustrated, anxious, eh I am a crier. I make him a crier sometimes, but he is generally pretty even-keeled. He is perfect for me. Life is so much better these days because I feel like I have found someone who is truly there for me. I don't feel like I am in this all alone.

Still have to remind myself to take deep breaths. My heart still pounds too fast sometimes, and I just want to hide under the covers. Life can be hard, but there are some things in life that just make everything worthwhile.

The house is quite. The Ru is actually sleeping instead of crying tonight. The cats have probably made their way into bed. Mike is asleep with the help of some earplugs. We are off to Savannah tomorrow. His mom is riding down with us so she can meet my mom. I miss my mom, and I am excited to get to see her tomorrow. I am also looking forward to introducing her to Mike.

Savannah

We are meeting mom and Watson in Savannah for the weekend next weekend. Mom was telling me to tell Watson over the phone about "our good news," and I said that it wasn't official yet . . . Watson said, "Well, dear, this young man isn't toying with your emotions now is he?" It was soo funny. Watson is a hoot.

We will probably meet them around 11:30 AM which means we will have to get up pretty early. Mike already knows that I will fall asleep on the way there. He got us hotels with his points so mom wouldn't complain that we were spending too much money.

I wasn't feeling that great today. We were supposed to pick up the hardwood for my floor today, but Home Depot didn't have it in stock. It worked out though because they are going to deliver it tomorrow. Mike will have to be here because I have to go in to work tomorrow. We had breakfast at Panera then went over to some older gentleman's house to look at some left over Brazilian Cherry hardwood he had. Mike is going to buy it to finish out this little room he has upstairs in his house. Then Mike dropped me off at my place because I left Pearl here. I napped then did some research.

Yesterday we went to Carowinds with Matt and Amy. Matt doesn't like riding roller coasters or spending money, so I don't know if he really had fun or not. We had fun. It was nice out, not too hot, and we got to ride on some nice rides.

I am trying to sell a whole bunch of stuff on Craigslist, some mine, some Mike's to make room in my house. I think we will be fine, but I hate clutter.

Mike is on his way over, and I am just goofing off for the rest of the night. Sweet dreams!

No Fair

Okay, Mike has already e-mailed all of his friends and announced our engagement. I was trying to wait until it was official, but it isn't fair that he is already telling everyone!! He bought my ring about 3 weeks ago, and it should be coming in any time now. He is still supposed to surprise me with a proposal, but we have already been making plans to get married on 08/08/08. I am completely excited and very happy that I found him. He is also fixing up his house to sell and will officially be moving in the beginning of November. Chris is moving out sometime in October, and he will probably move to Greensboro area to live closer to his girlfriend.

So, here is the site where we are planning our wedding:


You will hear more shortly, but I just had to spill the beans. Sigh. Patience was never a virtue of mine!

Frazzled

Well, I got a frazzled boyfriend back from Amsterdam. I guess Ra, Ru, Scuro, and I didn't help matters much last night because Mike didn't get as much sleep as he needed. He gets grump-py when he doesn't get enough sleep. Talking about sleep, Ra is under the papasan chair snoring away right now. I still haven't gotten a decent lunch in yet. I have a meeting at 5:30 PM, and then I am heading to Mike's for the night. I ate a whole pack of dried apricots so I am extremely rgular right now . . . Anyway.

Thank you, God

Life is so awesome. This is the best time in my life, and I am so thankful that God has given me all these things he has. I heard some really exciting news from Kim and Tony tonight, and I am so happy for them! Mike and I are doing really well. Life is good; God is good! My biggest challenge right now is not letting myself worry about how things could possibly go wrong.

Wow

I actually got some research done today. I always have to do more, but it feels good to have some behind me. I have to go to bed soon because I have orientation for work 2 tomorrow. I have to get all my paperwork and what-not ready. I have a stack of papers on my desk about 9 inches high that I have to go through and find it. Sigh. Maybe they will turn me away at the door for failing my drug test. Mike and I forgot, and he made a steak and spinach salad with raspberry vinegarette, poppyseed dressing the night before.

Dogs are a lot higher maintenance than cats. I feel guilty because Ru seems so bored. Three animals in one house seems like a lot even though there is more than enough room for all of us here. I think we all (Mike, Ru, Scuro, Ra, and me) will have to adjust to living under one roof, but hopefully it won't be that hard. I think it will be hardest on Scuro since she still hasn't really warmed up to Ru.

Mike doesn't get home until Wednesday night. I made him promise not to look at naked people while he is in Amsterdam. He called me tonight and will call again tomorrow. He sounds worn out and tired from all the travel. Personally, I couldn't do it.

Pump It Up

Amsterdam

Mike loves me. He used a calling card to call me from Amsterdam today. I could tell he was really sleepy, but he missed me and wanted to hear my voice. I love him so much. My life is so much better with him in it. I worry about him when he is traveling because I don't know what I would do if he didn't come home safely to me. I pray that God takes good care of him when he is gone and that he comes home to me safe and sound. Amen.

I took Ru to training at PetSmart this morning. I took a nap at Mike's place and did some shopping today. I didn't get much research done. Tomorrow will be a research day.

Here is my fall schedule:

Monday, Tuesday - work
Wednesday - work 2
Thursday - research
Friday - work, seminar

Here are some upcoming events:

9/15 - Carowinds
9/22 - Savannah so Mike can meet Mom and Watson
10/6 - Mike and I visit Kim and Tony in Chicago for my birthday
11/3 - Sheepdog trials
11/22 - Thanksgiving at Kim and Tony's

Whoa, Barry Manilow looks a lot like Rod Stewart.

Anyway, I am going to get busy goofing off tonight so I can be productive all day tomorrow.

Home Depot

Home Depot is coming over today to measure the house for hardwood floors and new carpet. I have been staying at Mike's house lately. He is getting his house ready for sale, and he and Ru are going to move in here in November. We would live in his house, but it is a little too small for all of us (Mike, Pam, Scuro, Ra, and Ru). And he will get more of a profit margin on selling his house than if I sold mine. Chris said he is going to move out by October 31st.

Mike checks my blog on occasion, and he says I must be happy because I didn't blog that day. It is true that I tend to blog less when I am happy. Things are going really well, and there should be some good news in a few weeks.

Mike actually washed Job yesterday. He hadn't been washed in years! Now he smells fresh and isn't covered with cat fur. He is a happy teddy bear now.

Joel

Congratulations to Joel - he is getting married! He always had to do things before me - I remember he took the GED test so he could say he graduated high school before me. I am happy for him though because he deserves to be happy.

Fresh Cornish Hen

Pam, up all night. Sigh. Mike is going to yell down the stairs in a few minutes to check if I am all right once he realizes I am not beside him in bed. I was fidgety getting to bed, and I woke up feeling acidy in my throat. The muscles in my legs are kinda tight because we did some pilates/exercises before bed. So the culmination of these factors woke me up. I should be able to get to bed now that my email has been checked, and I have blogged.

I have never been very good at the whole "grin and bear it" mentality in life. I am an idealist by nature, and I tend to want to fix things if they are broken. Right now, I feel like I am spinning my wheels a bit with school. Work is going well. Mike and I are awesome. I think we are both a bit stressed because combining two lives into one can be a challenge. Two houses, three pets, stuff like that. But that stress is a good stress because it is a sign of good things.

. . .

Back from surfing the Internet. Getting sleepy. Going back to bed.

Kitties

I miss my kitties. I feel badly because I haven't been spending much quality time with them. My Scuro and my Ra are the best kitties in the world! (I love Grace and Harley too though.)

I have been staying at Mike's house more often lately. He had his medical procedure today. His mom drove him to the hospital and back, and we both hung around for most of the day to make sure he was all right. Pretty much, he was just groggy and a little sore all day. The doctor said he has rings in his throat that cause him to gag on some foods. He said that the rings are caused because of allergies. So we have to see what exactly it is that he is allergic to. So between these rings in his esophagus and his diverticulitis his whole digestive system is pretty much out of whack. Poor guy.

I am happy but anxious today. Here are some of the things stressing me out:

1) Not spending enough time with my kitties
2) Not getting research done
3) Batteries not working in my camera
4) Mike being sick
5) Getting fatter
6) Being sleepy all the time
7) My foot is asleep
8) Problems getting reimbursed for the conference
9) Zits, weren't they supposed to disappear by now?
10) Mike's upcoming travel abroad

But there is a lot more to be thankful for. I must remember thanksgiving, prayer, and petition.

Ideal, Ideal Weekend

I think Mike and I will always remember this weekend. I think we have both surpassed the point where we have been in any other relationship, and it feels right to be where we are. I spent most of the weekend day dreaming instead of researching, but my priority right now is to enjoy being happy and in love. There will always be more work to do.

On another note, I taught Ru how to shake hands yesterday to surprise Mike when he got home from Oregon. It made him smile. Now Ru wants to shake hands all the time! He is a hand shaking machine!

I just ate a burrito, and Mike just had a bowl of ice cream. We are doing well on our diets. He goes in for his endoscopy in the morning, so those who pray, say a prayer for him that he will come out all right. I want them to find the problem so they can fix it, but I don't want something really bad to be wrong.

We bought a gourmet, one cup coffee maker and a pillow top thingy for my bed at Bed, Bath, and Beyond this weekend. I had 20% off coupons. Mike also made another very large purchase, but I can't officially talk about that yet . . .

What else happened this weekend? Mike sprayed my yard for weeds and bugs, of which I have a plethora. I watched Ru on Friday while Mike was away on business. He wanted to catch up on sleep Saturday, but I wouldn't let him. Hmmm. Mike started some projects around his house to start getting it fixed up. I successfully avoided doing research. The end.

Busy

There is too much to do and too little time. I straightened up Mike's house today, then I came home and straightened up my house some. Spent some time with Ru this morning and the kitties this afternoon. I logged into work and got a call about my other work (henceforth, they will be called work and work 2). I paid some bills, submitted some expense reports, scheduled some meetings, and all sorts of other stuff. I am about to head out the door to go back to Mike's place so Ru can go pee. Mike will get home from his business trip tomorrow afternoon. All this travel has really been wearing him out. He has surgery on Monday on top of it all.

It will be a lot easier on both of us when we only have one house to maintain. The pets will be stressed for a while, but they will eventually learn how to co-exist. They are already not doing that badly.

I am going to make bacon fried rice for dinner tonight. I would watch a movie, but for the life of me, I can't figure out Mike's television in his living room.

Conk

I think Ru might have given me a black eye. I bent down to pet him, and he got excited and jumped up. I put an ice pack on it so hopefully it didn't leave a mark. Chris and I cooked and ate dinner together tonight. I feel like I haven't seen him in ages. It was good to catch up. My Internet was down for a good part of the day today. Unfortunately that means I have to work tomorrow since I didn't put the hours in today.

Mike gets home tonight, but he has to fly to Oregon on Friday. I don't like him traveling so much but he makes time for me when he is in Charlotte so it is okay.

Effusive

Ooh, thanks to my daily horoscope, I just learned a new word that is very Pam:

Main Entry:

ef·fu·sive

Pronunciation:

\i-ˈfyü-siv, e-, -ziv\

Function:

adjective

Date:

1662

1: marked by the expression of great or excessive emotion or enthusiasm <effusive praise>
2archaic : pouring freely
3: characterized or formed by a nonexplosive outpouring of lava <effusive rocks>

— ef·fu·sive·ly adverb

— ef·fu·sive·ness noun

Okay, maybe not definition number 3, but definitely definition number 1.

Queek Queek Queek

The Ru is awake and whining. I let him out to go to the bathroom while I fixed his gate. He didn't get out this time, but he did considerable damage by pushing it out on the bottom. I have a feeling we will need to get a new gate. Other than that, he was pretty good last night - unless I just slept through it from sheer exhaustion. I think the Tabasco sauce on the gate really helped. I will name the gate Chimichanga. Going back to bed.

Playing Mommy

I worked from home today and watched the kids. Ru and Ra are starting to warm up to each other some. Scuro is still holding a grudge. I had Empire Today come over and give me an estimate on hardwood floors throughout the living room, but I decided their price was too high. Bennett said he would be able to do it cheaper, and Mike said that he would be able to help. If Ru is staying over more often, then I want to get rid of the carpet downstairs. He hates being locked up in the kitchen at night. He tried eating through his gate last night. I basted the gate with Tabasco sauce this morning so maybe he will stop. Otherwise, I might need to get some metal gates.

Mike talked to mom on the phone for the first time last night. It was cute.

Chris just got home. He is playing with the animals. It is definitely more lively here the last few days. I just hope Ru won't push down his gate tonight and will let me get some sleep. Poor Mike had meetings all somewhere near Newark so he didn't get very much sleep last night. I at least got to sleep a bit longer than he did this morning.

Full House

Humans are out numbered by animals 2:3. Women are out numbered by men 3:2. Dogs are out numbered by cats 2:1. There are cats chasing dog, and dog chasing cats. It is crazy around here! Ra has decided his safe haven is under the coffee table. Ru has decided to follow either me or Mike around as much as possible. Scuro, well, she is just perturbed by this whole thing. However, she is starting to calm down some. She just joined me on the couch for some cuddling. Now my belly is getting mashed. We are one, big, happy family. :-)

Mike is asleep because he has to leave to catch a plane at 4 AM. We ordered in Chinese food for dinner tonight. We went to the new Tijuana Flats (yay!) for lunch which is right down the street from my house. Tomorrow is a work day and hopefully I can get some research done as well. This weekend was house cleaning, pet calming, and boyfriend napping.

Happy Saturday

I woke up smiling this morning. It is going to be a busy day. We are going to take Ru to training then he is going to get groomed so he can make a good impression for his first meeting with Ra and Scuro! Mike and I made stuffed pork chops last night, and they were soo good. We have been eating really well . . . steak, lamb chops, stuffed pork chops, quail, veal something-or-another, chicken marsala, you name it. Unfortunately, now we need to go on diets. I am going to have a smoothie for breakfast.

Matt and Amy

I invited Matt and Amy over to Mike's for dinner. Mike is cooking steaks, potatoes, corn on the cob, and creme brule. Yummy. Worked from home today. My tummy was hurting this afternoon. Now I have a kink in my neck. Ru got in trouble today for chewing on the furniture. Can't wait until he comes to my house . . .

Things to Help Mike

Here is a list of things I can do to help Mike so he doesn't have to feel like he has to do everything himself. Besides, I like to feel useful.

1) Make a list of things I can help do for Mike
2) Help cook/do dishes
3) Watch Ru when he is out of town
4) Help him fold/put away laundry
5) Help him organize his office
6) Help him fix up his upstairs closet
7) Take out the trash (his trash is always overflowing)
8) Start exercising together
9) Encourage one another to eat healthier
10) Buy him new, brown t-shirts that don't have holes in the armpit

Sunday Colorado River

We went tubing down the Colorado River today which was pretty fun. We were starving when we got back so we chowed down on Pizza Hut pizza. I am ready to go home! Our flight leaves at 1:45 PM, and I get home at 9:45 PM. Will probably sleep in the car and on the plane.

I don't like that Colorado hotels don't have air conditioning. It is hot in here, and there is a dog barking outside. We need a fan.

Saturday Rocky Mountains

I got up too early this morning so I will be exhausted tonight. I go back to work on Tuesday so I won't get much of a break after travel. Hopefully I will get some sleep on the plane. Matt has an interview in an hour which is when we will head out to the conference.

Not too much to report. Feeling like I should get home and start being productive.

Friday Colorado

The conference went fairly well today. I got through my presentation and my interview. Mike sent me some flowers which was very sweet. I am finally out of my dress and high heels. Yay! I am ready to get home, but we aren't flying back until Monday.

This conference is really giving me a sense of urgency on getting more research done. Publish or perish!!

Colorado Thursday

I sat out by a beautiful mountain lake this morning. On the way back to the hotel room, I passed Matt and Amy in the hot tub. I am about to hop in the shower. Matt and I are going to a session this afternoon. I have an interview at 5 PM. Then we are meeting with our advisor and going to a welcome reception tonight until 8 PM.

Free Wi-Fi

Yay!! Our room has free wi-fi. Awesomeness. I miss my boyfriend and kitties already. We flew into Colorado Springs and Matt drove the rental car to Keystone. I napped most of the way. I practiced my presentation once, and it is running about 25 minutes which is pretty good. I need to do some more practicing before my presentation on Sunday. Matt's presentation is on Friday.

I didn't get much sleep last night as I stayed up pretty late packing. I got up around 6 AM, and they picked me up at 7 AM. It is 6:40 PM Charlotte time but two hours earlier here. Might nap for a minute before dinner with our advisor.

Focus

Okay, my ADD is kicking in today, and I need to focus on two and only two things today: work and packing. Pack, work. Okay. But before that, I think I am going to make some lunch. Then pack, work.

The Perfect Guy

He . . .

lets me sleep in his armpit
comforts me when I have a nightmare
gets my dorky sense of humor
worries about me when he sees me cry
takes me camping
joins me when I silly dance
talks in his sleep
isn't a partier
knows more elements on the periodic table than I do
can cook
lets me wear his t-shirts
likes to tickle me
believes in God
loves animals
loves his family
follows me when I run to the other room
proof reads my papers
gives me lots of forehead kisses
doesn't get embarrassed when I act silly in public
reads to me in bed
gives me the prettier piece of meat at dinner
has messy handwriting
lets me organize things
helps fix things around the house
humors my random questions
knows the names of my inanimate objects
can interpret my "stuffs" and "things"
protects me
tells me I am beautiful
loves my cats
wakes me up when I start grinding my teeth
carries my packages when we shop
lists the reasons why he loves me when I ask
is faithful
understands me for who I am
knows what I need
lets me take care of him sometimes
drags me out of bed for work in the morning
answers the phone when I call
leaves me little messages
gives me the key to his house
lets me plan things together for the future
doesn't get mad at me easily
laughs at how impatient I am
thinks about me when I am not around
wants a family
makes time for me
helps calm me down
is down to earth
cries sometimes because he cares so much
thinks I am a good person
is supportive of my career
responsible
smiles when he sees me
misses me when we are apart
can be a smart a**
always tells me the truth
knows how to compromise
apologizes when he is a jerk
accepts that I am emotional
can challenge me intellectually
takes me to see waterfalls
trusts me
knows my ring size
can teach me new things
thinks I am smart
is someone I can tell anything to
knows who he is
is consistent in his actions
is my best friend
loves me

Pictures

John Mayer concert

Ru

Mike in his office

The Scuro (tomorrow is her birthday)

Big Yawn

Mike left for Colorado Springs today. The funny thing is that I leave for Colorado Springs on Wednesday so we will be passing each other in the air. Oh well. I was busy this weekend putting together my applicant portfolio for Fall 2008. I didn't expect to be in the recruiting pool so soon, but we will see what happens! Mike is willing to move as long as there is a major airport near by. I would be just as happy if I found a good opportunity in Charlotte. Charlotte is a nice city.

Ugh, I have to get some more work done for work, but I feel distracted due to the upcoming conference. Bleh. I also need to pack for the conference. Time to make another list.

To Do:
1) Finish outbound distribution for work
2) Pack for Colorado
3) Practice presentation
4) Print boarding pass - DONE

I am sure there is more, but those are the biggies for right now.

Exxcellent

Look, I Simpsonized Me!!

I also took a stab at Mike . . .

Grumpy

Now, when I should be sleeping, I am wide awake. On my agenda for tomorrow (actually, later today): write a statement of purpose that includes my teaching philosophy and research interests. I also need to get some quotes from my student evaluations to include in my teaching portfolio. Busy, busy. And I need to practice my presentation for the conference next week.

Things to include in my portfolio:
-Statement of Purpose, DONE
-CV, DONE
-Student Feedback, DONE
-Teaching Evaluation Scores, DONE
-Teaching Peer Evaluation, DONE
-Class Syllabus?, DONE
-Letters of Recommendation, DONE
-Abstracts of Working Papers, DONE
-Transcripts, DONE

What else? I don't know. I have to have all this bound professionally as well. Yikes. I guess I didn't realize that it was already time for recruitment to begin until I started getting emails from various universities. Then I thought about it, and I am pretty much on the market for Fall 2008. Unlike industry, faculty positions are recruited in a lumpy way. They really only recruit to start during the fall of each year. Getting my butt in gear. :-)~

Sleepy and Doc

We have been relatively productive today. I took Mike on one of my little destressing shopping sprees. Basically, I go shopping for the purpose of finding products that help make my life more manageable. So first we went to Target. I got some zit medicine and face cloths for this huge zit I have on my chin. I bought some vitamins to make me healthier and sleep better. And a light bulb for my refrigerator. Mike got laundry baskets, a toothbrush holder, bathroom trash can, throw blankets, and some other random stuff. Then we went to PetSmart. I bought a litter mat for the cats and some pheromone calming spray for when the cats meet Ru. I encouraged Mike to sign up for obedience training for Ru. He also got some other stuff to try to calm the wild Ru. After that, we ate a relatively healthy lunch at Panera.

We came back to my house and ended up napping because I love day-time naps. I also woke him up at 5 AM this morning and convinced him we should get up and go to Waffle House. After we ate breakfast, we went back to sleep for a few hours. So now I am awake and have been PhDing.

My presentation for AMCIS is done except for needing to cut out a few slides and practicing. The next things on my list to do include:

-Create Statement of Purpose, DONE
-Make resume into vita, DONE
-Create interview portfolios, DONE
-Create cover letter, DEFERRED
-Pack for Colorado, TO DO

Mike put up my new chandelier in the breakfast nook while I was working on my presentation. He went to the grocery store and is now cooking dinner while I blog. The cats are roaming around the house looking kind of bored. It is a lazy but busy day just living life.

Happy

Mike had to drag me out of bed this morning so I could drive home to get ready for work. I am not a morning person! I am ready with a few minutes to spare so here I am blogging. We went shopping for something special last night (not saying much right now), and things are going really well. I love my boyfriend. We already say the same thing at the same time the other person is about to say it. I think he is probably the first guy to really pay attention to who I am and what I need - and love me for who I am. I know I can be difficult, but for the right guy, I am worth it.

Mike is so sweet that he has a hard time punishing Ru so the silly dog runs wild sometimes. He is also really smart and can take care of himself. He has a nice house (a little messy sometimes), and he usually does the cooking since he is a better cook than I am. He is handsome even though he gets insecure about his receded (because it did but isn't now) hairline. He has big, brown eyes that are so cute when he gives me crap or when he has no idea what to say or do to comfort me if I am crying. We get along really well by just being ourselves which is the most important thing. Sometimes he isn't wordy enough for me, and sometimes I am too impatient for him, but in general, we are pretty perfect together.

Sorry for gushing. I am in love and happy. Say a prayer for us. Neither one of us want to get hurt again so we are trying our best to take care of each other. Not everything is easy, but I think God will help make this possible.

Well, it is time for me to get in Pearl and drive down the street. Needing more sleep, but I think I will nap this evening. Happy Friday.

Skype

I now have Skype on my phone and computer: pamela.j.karr

It really only makes sense to use on my phone if I am calling internationally which I don't do. Mike did get a Skype phone though so he can call me when his is in Germany, France, Taiwan, and wherever else IBM sends him. He travels a lot but he works from home the rest of the time so it isn't too bad.

Okay, I am going to eat hotdogs now.

I Can Leave!!

I got my passport today so now I can officially leave the country. Yippee! I don't know when I will be able to take this trip, but darn it, it will be within the next year. Mike and his sister are going to London for Thanksgiving. I am not invited because they made the plans before Mike and I got really serious. I am kind of bummed about it, but I think it is important that he get to spend time with his sister. She has been his best friend for his whole life. Hopefully I will be able to go with them next year.

Some upcoming events:
8/7 - Scuro's 10th birthday
8/8-8/13 - ACMIS Colorado
8/20 - Fall semester begins
9/22-9/23 - Mike and I meet Mom and Watson in Savannah
10/5-10/8 - Mike and I visit Kim and Tony in Chicago for my birthday
11/20-11/26 - Thanksgiving in Chicago with Kim, Tony, Mom, and Watson
12/14 - Fall semester ends

I am happiest when I get to plan ahead. :-)

I enjoyed the John Mayer concert. They didn't play my three favorite songs though: Daughters, Wonderland, and Home Life. I got to dance under the stars with my boyfriend though which was worth the whole concert.

I have to get up early and work on a presentation tomorrow before logging into work. I better get to bed. G'night.

Room for Squares

Mike and I are going to see the John Mayer concert tonight. I just dropped Chris and Amber off at the airport. She is taking him to Vermont to meet her family. Pretty serious stuff, huh? Mike and I are meeting mom and Watson in Savannah for a weekend in September, and he meets Kim and Tony in Chicago for my birthday. I haven't figured out when he will get to meet Lisa, Steve, and the kids.

I am thinking I will take a short nap then get the work I have to get done today done. I love my naps.

Where's My Corsage?

When I met Michele in San Francisco, my Auntie Esther insisted that she take a picture of us together. I almost felt like we were going to prom together or something. :-) My aunt still has a 35 mm camera, so she just sent me the picture. Here is a scanned version in sepia.

DSBG

Mike and I went to the Daniel Stowe Botanical Gardens today. I had been there once before to attend a wedding. I really like it there; It has beautiful gardens and fountains. They are building an orchid garden that will be open in 2008 which seems like it will be really cool. Mike's mom and her dog Pumpkin stayed over at his house Thursday and Friday night because her water was shut off at her house. We all went to see the new Harry Potter movie Friday night. It was all right, but there were some parts that could have been better. Saturday was a lazy day which mostly involved sleeping. Today was also a fairly lazy day other than going to the botanical gardens. I bought a chandelier for my breakfast nook that I am going to get Mike (and Dave?) to put up for me this weekend. I will have to post a picture once it is done. Right now, I am in bed with two sleepy kitties. I found an "I love you" note in my laptop when I opened it up to blog. That made me smile.

To Do List

Things that must happen this week:

1) Go into work Monday (along with regular work schedule) - DONE
2) Call Best Buy to schedule ice maker repair - DONE
3) **Finalize AMCIS presentation by Wednesday morning** - DONE
4) John Mayer concert Wednesday evening - DONE
5) **Finalize SharePoint business case/recommendation by Friday morning** - Recommendation DONE, Business Case TO DO
6) Wish Liz a happy birthday - DONE
7) Submit timesheet - DONE
8) Call fascia repair guy- DONE
9) Follow up on lightning claim - DONE
10) See if Dave is going to be in town this weekend -DONE

Funny

Look, Ra isn't alone!!

Thank God

I am so thankful for my boyfriend. I had a pretty icky day today - all of my papers submitted to ICIS were rejected. I am feeling spread a little too thin between work, work 2, research, and everything else. Like the song, there is always a reason to not feel good enough. So I cried, and Mike held me and made goofy jokes until I smiled. Thank God for him; he is my angel.

I guess I don't write all that much about Mike on my blog 1) because the bottom tends to fall out when I think everything is going well and 2) I don't want to hurt Mark. I know Mark checks my blog occasionally. I do love Mark, and I wish all the happiness for him in the world. In the end, I didn't make him happy enough because we have different goals in life. That doesn't mean I want him to hurt or be hurt. You don't just stop caring about the people you cared deeply about.

At the same time, I blog about what is on my mind and my heart, and today, it is Mike. He cooked chicken marsala with potatoes for dinner tonight. He told me he would love me even if I failed. And he did the dishes. I can't control how emotional I am sometimes, but it was really nice to have him hold me and calm me down. He is learning that when I am sad it doesn't mean I am unhappy with us. I am not asking him to fix anything or do anything but be there for me. And today he did a great job.

I am home now and showered. Showering helps calm me down some. Now I am going back to do some work 2 to have ready for tomorrow. This weekend I have to start paper revisions to be able to resubmit them to other conferences and/or journals. I just need to take a deep breath and not get discouraged.

Yay!

Travel plans for Thanksgiving have been confirmed. Mom, Watson, and I will be going to Kim and Tony's for Thanksgiving. I am aiming to stay in town for Christmas. Darn it, my feet are asleep. Wake up, feet! Wake up, wake up!

I also confirmed that there won't be any adverse consequences from taking my qualifying exams in the spring. So here is my life for the next little bit:

26 - work from home
27 - work from work (different company)
28 - 29 research
30 - work from work (the other company)
31 - work from home
1 - research, John Mayer concert!! Chris in Vermont
2 - work from home
3 - work from work
4 - 6 Dave in town
7 - Scuro's birthday, Chris back from Vermont
8 - 13 AMCIS
14 - 17 work from home
18 - 19 relax
20 - fall semester begins

Angel

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

What to Say

I think all the time. My mind never really shuts off. Some people think I share too much on my blog when they don't realize that there is a lot that I don't share as well. I am usually most inspired to write when feeling sad and lonely because I feel like it is a way to connect to someone else even if they aren't in the room with me. Other times, I just blog because I get antsy. A lot of my deeper thoughts and emotions don't make it onto my blog by design.

So what is life all about?

Family. Family is pretty good right now. I saw Lisa's family and the extended family while in San Francisco. I last saw mom in May and Kim and Tony in January. I talk to my mom probably about once a week. My family has never been that close-knit (maybe the relatives in SF, but not us on the East coast). Nothing really bad is happening right now, so we are all just kind of going along with the ride. I really want to see mom for Thanksgiving, but she is being stubborn.

Friends. I miss my friends in Florida. I don't have any really, really close friends in Charlotte. It is good to get out and socialize with people every now and then though. In general, I like people. I care about them. I like helping them and seeing them happy.

Goals. I have been busy with work and side work and research this summer. As always, I have too many things to do. I am a bit stressed about qualifying exams coming up this or next semester. Other than that, everything is pretty much right on track. I sometimes wish I had more time to focus on my PhD studies, but I enjoy the work I do as well. I don't know what I would do with all the extra time if I was just working on my PhD. I am still up-in-the-air about what I am going to do when I graduate. I still have some time but not much to decide. I am presenting at a conference in Colorado during the beginning of August.

God. I haven't been going to church all that regularly. Francis and I went when he was in town, and that was nice. It would mean a lot if Mike went to church with me, but I understand why he is hesitant because he spent his whole life going to Catholic school. I pray every day almost even if I don't make it to church every week. God is good.

Health. I have had some ups and downs with my health lately. I need to lose some weight and exercise now that some of the more stressful health issues seem to have fallen along the wayside. I sleep a lot. I love naps. I am taking Lipitor for my cholesterol.

Cats. They are perfect as always. Scuro's 9th birthday is coming up in August.

Home. I love my house. It is usually neat and uncluttered. I haven't been home as much as I am used to lately, however. Chris and Amber have been alternating staying here in Charlotte and in High Point for the last 4 months or so. I still want to do some home improvement projects, but they seem to keep falling to the bottom of my list.

Love. After thinking you have everything going for you in this department, you start to be less optimistic than you were in the past. Mike and I are doing well, I think. He is taking me to see Kim and Tony for my birthday. We are hoping to take a trip to Savannah and meet up with my mom and Watson for a weekend in September. I have briefly met his mom and sister. He is finally getting used to having a girlfriend around. I am finally talking less about Mark all the time. I think we are both scared sometimes, but things are on the right track. We just have to make sure we don't let our caution ruin something that is really good. Neither one of us want to get hurt.

Money. I can't complain here. I have money saved up in the bank, and I am doing pretty well for a PhD student. I get a little stressed that I am not saving more for retirement, but I don't let it bother me too much.

Future. Well, for those of you who know me, I am a planner. I know pretty much what to expect for the next year, but after that I have no idea. The unclear roadmap makes me anxious, but it is pretty much unavoidable. If I don't sell my house before 2010, my mortgage interest rate is going to adjust which will suck. I should be done with my PhD in about a year and a half. Qualifying exams need to be taken either in September or next January. Other than that, I don't have any impending milestones. However, I will be 30 in less than 3 years . . .

Somethings I would like to do in the near future:
-Spend more time getting to know Mike's mom
-Have Ru meet Ra and Scuro
-Go to Carowinds
-See mom
-Get my lightning claim squared away
-Hang out with Matt and Amy
-Travel abroad
-Get published in a journal

Gouda is Good

There are so many things that I am thankful for. It is easy to get caught up in the bad things that have happened in life and to forget all the things that I have been blessed with. I have some really great friends. I love my family. I have a beautiful home and two awesome cats. God has been good to me. I am really glad that I moved to Charlotte.

Mike and I had a bit of a falling out last week. He mistook my emotional-ness as being unhappy with us. He gets really upset when he sees me cry. It made me realize that sometimes I need to make a point to express when I am happy. Happiness doesn't look as obvious as upseted-ness does on me. I have perfected sad, but I am still working on happy.

In fact, I am really happy with Mike. In a lot of ways we are very much alike. In those ways it makes it easy for us to get along. In other ways, we are exact opposites. For those things, we both know that it is a healthier thing for both of us to be more in the middle anyway. So it gives us a chance to learn from one another. As we learn more about one another, our relationship is getting stronger and stronger. We have been dating for 5 months now. This relationship is different than any other relationship I have been in, and it has been a great growth experience for me. I am so incredibly thankful for him.

In general, life is good. I still have personal ups and downs. Sometimes I think I freak out when things are good just because I am scared of losing all the things in my life that make me happy. There have been some really low points in my life, and though they have passed, they have left me with the fear of ever getting back to that bad place. So I pray. And sometimes I get anxious. And sometimes I cry. And sometimes I can just forget and enjoy myself. Those are the best times - when I am just living in the moment and looking forward to the future.

Staying Young

Here was an interesting article about ways to stay young.

Hump Day

Today was my research day, but I used it instead to relax and recover from constantly being on the go the last few weeks. I went grocery shopping. I also talked to my mom. I uploaded some pictures to Walgreens and had them sent to her local store to get developed. I think that is pretty cool, especially for someone like my mom who is pretty much computer illiterate (and like me who does everything on-line). Tomorrow I work from home.

I revived my LinkedIn profile when Mike sent me a request to be in his network. I have 30 connections now. However, I am not currently looking for any opportunities as I seem to find myself with too many instead of too few opportunities lately.

I am just ho-hum tonight. I was kinda down last night, but I recovered from that after some IM love from Dave at 2 in the morning (not THAT kind, silly!). Thanks, Dave! He is thinking about coming out to see me August 4-7. I have a conference in Colorado right after that.

Fragile

One of the beauties of this complex world is that dichotomy can be juxtaposed.

For instance, to be humble and to serve require more discipline and fortitude than pride and leadership.

I, for one, am full of contradictions. I am fragile, but I am strong. In some ways, my ability to allow myself to be vulnerable has taught me more strength than walling myself off from the world ever would. I am doubtful which has increased my faith. I am thankful I did not grow up in a church because blind faith would not have been as strong as the faith I currently have in God.

So as life goes on, I am learning more and more about the intricacies of what it means to be human and how within all this confusion things become more clear. And within all the contradictions, a consistency can be found.

Weddings

Francis slept in this morning. After he got up, we had a light breakfast. Chris was getting ready to go to Highpoint to see Amber, so I helped him put together this vase of Hershey's kisses and roses he had gotten to surprise her. Then I modeled some dresses for the guys, and they helped me decide on the one below.

We left around 1 PM for Childress Vineyards. We made perfect time. We got there in time to have a quick lunch and listen to some live music on the terrace. Then we went on the 3 PM tour of the vineyard. After that, we did the wine tasting. We got to the church JUST in time. The wedding was very pretty. The reception was lovely as well. We danced to a few songs and hung out with some of his friends he had known since middle school. It was a very impressive crowd - IB high school, masters, law degrees, PhDs, wow. Although a little late, we got home safely.

He impressed/surprised me by requesting that I take him to my church in the morning (he is Catholic). So we are going to go to church, have brunch, then go to Body Worlds at Discovery Place. His plane leaves for Gainesville around 6 PM. It has been a good but long day.

Francis

Francis is in town for the weekend; I picked him up from the airport tonight. We went to Ciro's Italian Restaurant for a late dinner. It is good to see him. The last time I saw him was when I was in Gainesville after going to Joel's graduation in May. He is getting ready for bed, and I am debating on whether or not I should try to set up my new wireless router tonight. We are going to his friend's wedding tomorrow.

Getting There

Well, I am starting to get everything back on track from my vacation. I went to the doctor today and received better news than I was expecting. The claims adjuster is coming tomorrow so hopefully I can start replacing some of the things that were burnt out by the storm. The most inconvenient is the kitchen because I keep forgetting I don't have a microwave, toaster, blender, or toaster oven that work. I have to rely just on the stove. Some things you take for granted: frozen burritos, English muffins, smoothies, TV dinners, and toast. Ahh.

Trying to convince my mom to go to Chicago for Thanksgiving. Mike and I have a trip planned to go see Kim and Tony for my birthday. I met his sister when I was in San Francisco. She went to see Jersey Boys with some of my family and myself. I didn't know the story behind the Four Seasons, and I like their music a lot better now that I know the story. Heck, I think I used to think Frankie Valli was a chick in some of those songs!

Insecure

Well, I have a WEP enabled wireless network up and running again at home. Yay. Mike and I went to see the Transformers movie tonight which was definitely a guy flick. There were some neat special effects, and it was nice going out to a movie though. I told him that the next movie is going to have to be a chick-flick. :-)

Tomorrow is going to be a stressful day, but I will get through it. I think I will go downstairs and cuddle up with my kitties, Job, and my snuggle pillow.

And She's Safe!

I got home safely on Saturday. I am without Internet at home until we can exchange the cable modem due to the lightning strike. I was going to do that today, but I forgot to bring the cable modem with me. Argh.

Had a great time in San Francisco, but I am back to work and school now.

Pam at Muir Woods

San Fran 087
Originally uploaded by pamela_j_karr

Here is one of the few pictures from my camera with me actually in it (thanks to Gary). I leave for home at 7 AM PST tomorrow, and I get back around 3 PM EST. I get to see Scuro, Ra, Mike, Ru, and Chris. I also get to find all the model numbers of everything that got fried by lightning. Fun, fun.

Silly Burroughs

This is my family - My sister Lisa, her husband Steve, and my neices and nephew, Rachael, Ryan, and Emily.

Here is a slide show of the rest of the San Francisco 2007 Trip pictures.

Converse Kids

I am in San Francisco now with my family. It is my sister Lisa's birthday. I bought a pair of kids Converse size 2 1/2 while shopping. Rachael is trying to convince me to write about how cool so is. I guess she is a pretty cool kid. :-)

Acts of God

First my house gets hit with a hurricane, now my house gets hit by lightning. Argh. I came home last night, and the power was out and there was a burning electrical smell. Come to find out that the air conditioning, two televisions, DVD player, receiver, microwave, cable modem, wireless router, blender, stereo, and some other random stuff got fried by the thunderstorm. I don't have very good luck.

So I leave for San Francisco in the morning. I had an unpleasant doctors appointment this morning. Mike came and picked me up afterwards, and now I am just moping around.

Flickr

5:05 AM and I am awake. I have a Scuro attached to my right elbow. My Yahoo Photos have successfully been transferred over to Flicker. Can you see the Flickr slideshow on the sidebar of my blog? Some people have said they have had trouble. I am guessing it has to do with outdated browsers, but I am not sure. Going to breakfast with Muhammed in 4 hours. We are going to IHop, one of my favorite places now that they have stuffed French toast.

Pam and the Ru

p5070115
Originally uploaded by pamela_j_karr

Here is a goofy picture of Ru and I a few weeks ago. This silly puppy always has his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Ru has yet to meet Scuro and Ra. That will be an adventure.

GSMNP Pictures

Here are the GSMNP Pictures.

Great Smoky Mountains

We had a great time this weekend. We left Friday afternoon and stayed in a hotel in Asheville that night. We went to Tupelo Honey's for dinner. We woke up the next morning and drove to the Cherokee entrance to the national park. We stopped at Mingo falls first. I have never been to the mountains on-season so there were a lot more people than I am used to. Then we drove through the park to Gatlinburg and did the Roaring Fork Motor trail. We went to see one of my favorite waterfalls - Grotto falls. We had lunch on a rock near a stream which was really cool. Then we drove to Cades Cove where we were camping. We set up the tent then went around the scenic loop. We saw tons of wild turkeys, deer, and black bears. I usually saw more deer and less of the other two. It was definitely black bear season - we saw 7 black bears at least!!


We had hotdogs and baked beans for dinner. Mike made me a smore for dessert while I incinerated some marshmellows on a stick. We read for a while then went to bed (or tent should I say?). There was this owl that was hanging around our campsite so I had this really vivid dream that he was peaking in our tent while we were sleeping. It was so neat!

We woke up in the morning (no showers in the national park) and had orange juice, eggs, and bacon for breakfast. We packed up all the stuff and headed out. We saw the Sinks and Laurel falls then went to Gatlinburg. We went to the Ripley's Aquarium which had some pretty neat aquatic life. Then we went through Pigeon Forge to Sevierville (stopping at Krispy Kreme for lunch) to check out the Forbidden Caverns which is a huge cave. However, the cave was closed on Sundays (who closes a cave on Sundays?). Just as well because it was getting late and stormy. We (as in Mike) drove back to my house and dropped me off. It was around 6 PM in the evening. I took a long awaited shower and went to bed. I woke up around midnight to check my email then went back to sleep.

Now here I am awake. I am a little achy from all the hiking - maybe 6 miles total but uphill (both ways!). I have a headache (probably from the changes in elevation). So I have had my ibuprofen and diet Pepsi this morning and am waking up. I don't have much food in the house so I think I will drive and get some breakfast. I work from home this week then leave for San Francisco on Thursday.

Ahh, I am thankful for a really great trip with a really great guy.

Welcome to Summer

Did today feel like the longest day of the year? It was also Mike's 6 year anniversary with IBM. I bet that made it feel like a long day for him. :-) Muhammed's birthday is coming up on Tuesday. I cancelled lunch on him a week or so ago due to a doctor's appointment, but I definitely need to make that up to him. Muhammed, do you already have lunch plans for your birthday?

Lisa's birthday and Kim and Tony's anniversary is coming up next Thursday. Kim and Tony are having their 10 year anniversary, I believe. They are going on an Alaskan cruise which sounds pretty fun. I am going to San Francisco on the 28th to spend some time with my relatives. Lisa and family will also be in town. Steve's birthday is on the 5th, and Lisa and Steve's anniversary is on the 7th. Then Joel's birthday is on the 9th. Busy few weeks!

I think I have convinced Mike to take me to Chicago for my birthday to see Kim and Tony. He has a friend named Courtney who lives up there that he wants to catch up with too. So that should be fun. Mike is going to France with his sister for Thanksgiving. I will either go to Gainesville or Chicago for the Thanksgiving holiday. Maybe I can convince mom and Watson to go to Chicago with me. I want to spend time with my mom but going to Gainesville is generally boring except I get to see my friends (Dave, Francis, Andrew, Tom, etc.) I would have included Joel on that list, but he should be shipped out by then anyway.

So that is all I am up to right now. I go into work (not work work, but my other work) tomorrow then we are off to the mountains. Woo hoo!!!

Kayaks

And here is an awesome picture one of my friends took of the kayaks and the lake.

Lake James

Here is a silly picture of me at Lake James a couple of weeks ago.

Ready!

I wish Friday evening was here already!! I am excited about going on my first camping trip with my boyfriend to revisit the mountains and waterfalls that I love. I want to get out of Charlotte for a while and to be able to relax. Come on Friday!!

We are pretty well prepared for this trip. I bought Mike a two person sleeping bag. He bought a huge tent for when he went camping last month with his dad and his sister. We bought a Coleman gas stove, lanterns, queen size blow up mattress, table cloths, food, ponchos, a compass, cooking pots . . . you name it. He teased me about getting a "lugaloo" which is basically a toilet seat for a bucket since I have to pee every 15 minutes. Ha ha, very funny. :-|

Hmmm. The arrow keys on my new keyboard are not working. And now, when I try to type an apostrophe, the text search on Firefox is popping up instead. Very strange. All these technical difficulties. Sheesh.

I am going to be up working for a while tonight because I napped for a few hours today. Tomorrow, I am working from home. Monday night I have to do more statistical analysis from campus. I wonder how much it costs if I just bought the full version of LISREL. Googling. Yikes! $495. Forget that.

I am in the mood for a cafe mocha with extra mocha. However, I know it will immediately put me to sleep after drinking it. It would make sense then for sleeping pills to make me awake, but no - they just make me really sleepy. I am destined to sleep, I guess.

Ick

I had a chick-fil-a sandwich and a cookies and cream milkshake for lunch today. Maybe I am lactose intolerant or just drank too much cookies and cream, but I ended up tossing my cookies (literally, figuratively) later this afternoon. I am still not feeling 100%, but I am feeling a little better after laying down for an hour or two. Getting old is overrated. Ugh.

I wish I were famous enough to get quoted. I bet I could come up with some great quotes . . .

"True love is nothing unless followed by consistent action."
"Lonliness kills more people than famine, plague, and war. We have just yet to bury the bodies."
"Never trust a promise from a person who does not know himself."
"No one ever died wishing that they had spent more time working and less time loving."
"We all believe we are good people. Our actions define if we really are."
"You must love yourself before you can learn to love someone else."
"We all want to be loved by another as we are loved by our pets - without abandon and without risk of getting hurt."
"We are born knowing how to be selfish. It is how to give we must be taught."
"There is no such thing as equality between men and women, only a understanding of the differences between them.
"Admitting fault is a sign of character."
"When one thinks they know everything, they have lost the ability to learn."

Okay, I am done being pedantic or the night. I have to brush my teeth and get ready for dinner.

From My Sis . . .

The A to Z of Pam (Written in 2004)

A Ability, which covers a lot of things. Ability to love, ability to do, etc.

B Braininess. Or should I just say Brainiac?

C Caring. You care about other people.

D Determination and lots of it

E Ed. As in Mr. Anyone that loves Mr. Ed is awesome.

F Faith.

G Giving.

H Healing. You're working at it right now.

I Intensity. Whatever you do, you do with great intensity and skill.

J Jerks. As in learning that you don't have to deal with them and can cut them lose

K Keeping things to yourself. I can tell you stuff I can't tell Lisa.

L Loving.

M Mommy-ness. You're a good mom to your cats and someday, you'll be a good mom for your kids.

N No-nonsense. When you want something, you go after it.

O Overachiever! If I'd studied half as hard as you, there's no telling what I'd know

P Pam!

Q Quirky.

R Risky. At least, you're starting to take more chances, and that's good.

S Silliness (see E). And you can laugh at yourself. Or, Spam.

T Talent. You're so talented you're scary. (except at kickboxing and aerobics...)

U Unusual. You're you're own person and you don't try to be somebody else.

V Vivid. You stand out from the crowd.

W Wistful. You've got hopes and dreams.

X Xcellent, as Pedro says. And besides, you are, and X is the hardest letter.

Y Youthful. You've got your whole life ahead of you.

Z Zesty. Because you are and there aren't that many words that start with Z.

Stressed

I am finding myself stressed today. There are just too many things on my mind at once. Too many uncertainties compared to what is certain. I need to narrow down my scope to just deal with the tasks at hand for today, but I have never been great at compartmentalizing. I know I need to learn how to relax because I tend to drive people batty when I am stressed like this.

When I'm Forty

I'll be a writer, a drawer, and I'll be a painter. I'll have one child, two horses, a two-story mansion, two pets - a cat and a dog, and a husband. I want to be wealthy and I will live in New York. I want a convertible, a limousine, and a Ferarri, too. I'll play tennis every week.

--Pam Karr, October 17, 1988

If the Whole World was Under Water

I think we would know how to live if we were born that way. We wouldn't have things like houses and metal but we would have lots of cyclones, wind, storms, and not many plants, but there would be seaweed though. We would eat seaweed and fish and the fish like most sharks would eat us. We would make things like making a knife with coral or with shark's teeth. We would learn how to know whitch directions were whitch. We would build things like rafts so we can plant things.

Excited

Mike and I went shopping this weekend to get the rest of our camping gear. We are going to the Great Smoky Mountain National Park next weekend!! Yay! I get to see my waterfalls. He hasn't been feeling well this past month, but hopefully he will be okay for a weekend trip. We are going to go out to dinner on Tuesday because we met 4 months ago that day on his 30th birthday. I am sentimental like that.

This is going to be a busy week. I need to get research, work work, and internship work done before we leave on Friday. I am anxious to get out of Charlotte and relax for a bit. I think I am stretching myself a bit thin this summer, like I always tend to do. It is okay though because I usually end up doing all right in the end. It is just stressful sometimes getting there. Eventually I will learn how to take on less. Of course, that will have to be once I get my PhD. PhDing is a challenge and working on top of that is even more of a challenge, but I don't see myself quitting work to solely pursue my PhD. I stress when I don't have income coming in. When you grow up poor as dirt, you never want to go back there!

I just looked at my blog, and it is badly in need of some more pictures. Hopefully I can remedy that this weekend. Hugs! Pam

Core Dump

(Wikipedia) A core dump is the recorded state of the working memory of a computer program at a specific time, generally when the program has terminated abnormally (crashed).^[1] On many operating systems, a fatal error in a program automatically triggers a core dump, and by extension the phrase "to dump core" has come to mean, in many cases, any fatal error, regardless of whether a record of the program memory is created. The term is used in jargon to indicate any circumstance where large amounts of unedited data are deposited for further examination.

Welcome to my blog.

Thunder Cats

Scuro is scared of thunderstorms. She follows me around more closely than usual, sitting on my feet in the office and the bathroom. So of course Ra follows Scuro around. Unlike Scuro, he just meows, expecting me to make the storm go away. We all end up in the same few square feet in this 2000 square foot house.

I had to take another drug test for work today. I don't even drink!

I ordered a pizza for lunch/dinner since it is pouring down rain outside. I hope it gets here soon; I am starving!

Out of Sorts

So what would it be like to be in sorts? We have so many sayings that don't really make any sense when you actually think about them. Anyway.

Hopefully I will be back on track soon. I have lots of work that needs to get done, but I have to be in the mindset to do it. My toe itches. No, not a figure of speech; it really itched.

Just watched the Incredibles. I liked it.

Inconceivable

There is nothing like a movie classic like The Princess Bride to cheer you up after a bad day. It is a chick flick that has gained such popularity that it is even in the movie library of most guys. That is a feat that very few chick flicks have been able to accomplish. I need to get to bed soon. I have a doctors appointment at 8:30 AM in the morning.

Armpit and All

I am thankful for a very awesome weekend. Some events included rented movies, camping, boating, kayaking, swimming, roasting marshmellows, catching up with friends, walking the Ru, buying new silverware, going to see Ocean's 13, forehead kisses, and sleeping in a safe arm pit. Can't get much better than that even though I was pretty stinky.

Uninspired

Originally, I had something to say here, but I don't know if I do anymore. I am preparing for work tomorrow. Kinda bored.

I love so many people. It is probably why I get hurt so often. I have such a big heart, and I get unhappy when there aren't people around for me to love. Obviously there are different types of love and some types are more fulfilling then others. I love my friends and my family. I have a love for strangers and animals. I love experiences and places. I don't know; maybe I am just weird.

Along with love, I also have a lot of gas lately. My tummy is full of air. I have been drinking one of the DanActive drinks every day, and I think that is the culprit. They are yummy though. I like the blueberry one the best so far.

Okay, you can see what happens when I don't have much to say - I say random and strange things. Ahhh.

Testing 1 2 3

I am testing my new Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard for the first time. I like that the keys are shallower so you don't have to press too hard. I am not used to the curviness, but it will probably grow on me with time. It is interesting because the keys are not all equal in size. I can't complain. In the end, I received two keyboards for free. The first keyboard I bought was free after a $10 rebate from Roswell. However, the control key stopped working on it pretty quickly. So I complained and they sent me this keyboard for free. Works for me. The Belkin keyboard Joel got me still works well, but the keys aren't soft touch keys like these keyboards. I know, I am picky.

Chris

Okay, change in plans. I have decided that I am just going to marry Chris. Last night he drove to Highpoint to surprise Amber at work with flowers. (After buying her an iPod as a present last weekend.) He got back early this morning to go to work. Sigh, I haven't had that kind of romance in my life in years. Amber is coming over tonight, and he washed his sheets, made his bed, and cleaned his room before she came over. I was worried that he put all of my clothese that were in the washer in the dryer because there are some I hang to dry. I walked into the laundry room and there were all my dresses and unmentionables laying on the drying rack. So good. So a man who is romantic, does my laundry, helps with the bills, takes out the trash, loves my cats, and already lives in my house. It's just a no brainer. ;-)

Sound and the Furry

It has been a while since I felt calm and peaceful inside; I have been antsy for months now. I am thankful that last semester went really well. In the beginning of the semester, I thought it was going to pretty much be a disaster. Yet, I haven't been so productive this summer. I have been getting a lot of work related work done, but I really need to do more research. Research is harder to get done when I am not quite in the right mindset to do it. The goals are more ambiguous and the the deliverables are a lot less structured. It makes it easier to get overwhelmed and to procrastinate.

I have been sleeping a lot lately, seems more than usual. Went to the doctor recently, and she prescribed Lipitor for my high cholesterol. I started taking that yesterday so I don't know what kind of side effects if any it will cause. I have been trying to exercise more - some pilates and elliptical machine work outs. Also trying to eat better. I bought some of the DanActive Immunity drink things (ironic because Mike bought them for the first time the same day that I did). I have been trying to take my Flintstones, flax seed, and fiber tablets more often. So I have been trying at least . . .

Chris went to surprise Amber at work tonight (she works at Uno's as her second job) so it is just me and the cats in the house tonight. I feel safer when he is here. Sometimes I think I am scared of the dark because I sleep so much better during the day time. I don't like sleeping alone at night; I like having someone there to protect me, even if it is just from my own nightmares. The cats help, but it isn't quite the same as having an armpit to cuddle in. I guess we are all afraid of something.

I wish the things I am naturally drawn to do paid more money to do them. I really like finding ways to directly help people, back good causes, plan events, find ways to make things better. I like taking on leadership roles and working with people and ideas. I tend to be a little too warm and fuzzy for the business world and a little too practical for the academic one.

Scuro is downstairs meowing distraughtly because Ra and I are upstairs. Soon, I will carry Ra downstairs and both cats will be happy. I like making them happy; it is part of my job in this world. The are good cats, and I love them.

Man!

They are finding ways to get all blind people to see except for my kind of blindness (amblyopia). Sigh.

Jazz Cafe

Mike said he liked Jazz and Cajun food, so I found a place called the Jazz Cafe. We went there tonight and heard a band out of Winston-Salem play. The place wasn't very busy on a Tuesday night, but it was neat to explore some place new. However, I now owe Ru my other sock to chew on because he probably had to do his business in the kitchen since Mike will be home later than Ru's usual nightly walk. Sorry buddy! (Look at me, I am apologizing to a dog on my blog - like he will ever read it. Mike didn't even show him the ecard I had sent Ru a few weeks ago!)

Ah, so anyway, I am off to bed soon. I have to catch up on some of my work for work tomorrow, opposed to all the work I have been helping other people with lately. It would be ironic if they fired me for lack of productivity then realized that the productivity of half of my team dropped when I was gone. After my work for work, I have to do some work for school and to prepare for my new work on Friday.

The department chair offered me a teaching position in the fall. I had previously not been assigned a class. I am contemplating if I want to do it or not. The experience and the extra money are good things, but time is already a scarce resource. We shall see.

Hmmm. JUst did some data analysis. It isn't a good thing when you aren't finding much significance between your construct and your dependent variables. Needs more work.

Happy Birthday Dave!!

Pamela Karr (4/2/2007 1:03:22 AM): love me?
Dave Price (4/2/2007 6:50:17 AM): exponentially
Dave Price (4/2/2007 6:51:08 AM): infinitely
Dave Price (4/2/2007 6:51:10 AM): without fail
Dave Price (4/2/2007 6:51:12 AM): without effort
Dave Price (4/2/2007 6:51:30 AM): i love you pam


Dave is one of my bestest friends, and he is turning 27 years old!

Dave and I met when I was 15 years old - we had PhysEd together. I would finish running the mile before everyone else (because I am kinda competitive), but then I would about pass out, and he would carry me to the bleachers. We lost touch the latter half of high school, but we caught back up when I moved back to Gainesville for college. He was always there to move heavy objects. He was one of the few people to come and visit me when I was interning in Atlanta. He drove me up to Charlotte for a weekend and helped me pick out my house. One time he drove to see me off at the airport when I came to visit my mom, and we didn't have a chance to meet up beforehand. Last time I saw him was in May when I went down for Joel's graduation. He is like family to me. Dave loves kids and will be starting as an elementary school teacher this coming year. He has always been there for me, and he always knows how to make me feel loved. I only wish I got to see him more often.

Happy Birthday, Dave! I love you!

Declaration

I declare that today is going to be a good day.

I am trying to figure out how to get my GPS software set up for my phone. I just found out that it comes with a mini card reader. Bonus! I am starting to become high tech. Hello world!

Wasted Weekend

I am feeling a bit better; sometimes I just get overwhelmed by life. I get angry and frustrated when it seems like everything always has to be so hard. I needed to get a lot of work done this weekend that didn't get done. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for me and I can make some progress.

Amber and Chris seemed to have a good weekend, so I am really happy for them. I think they are a good couple - they will both just have to decide if they are ready for a commitment sometime in the future. I think their personalities mesh well, and they look good together too. They are both good people individually. I wish them the best.

Mike and I get along really well and have a lot in common. I think he is used to being alone most of the time and internalizes most of his feelings while I am used to being in a close relationship and sharing everything. Other than that, there aren't any big struggles. We have both been hurt in the past and are both scared, so we are taking things slowly. He knows I am still dealing with feelings I have for Mark. I know he isn't going to be able to open up to me all at once. We have time; there is hope.

Some excerpts from our romantic horoscopes:

Libra and Pisces make great friends as well as lovers. These two Signs are very compatible, making for a truly smooth-sailing love affair. They understand one another: Both can be indecisive and tend to work in multiple directions at once. Libra abhors conflict and will do almost anything to avoid it, and Pisces possesses great empathy and can forgive out of understanding for their partner's position. Libra is ruled by Venus (Love) and Pisces is ruled by Jupiter (Luck) and Neptune (Illusions). Under Jupiter and Neptune's rule, Pisces is intensely meditative, philosophical and internal. Under Venus's influence, Libra is in love with love. Libra is the Sign of Partnership and always is more comfortable when in an intimate love affair. These two Signs together combine their heads and their hearts to solve all problems -- a winning combination. The best decisions are made with both the emotions and the intellect; this relationship tends to be extremely flexible and progressive. Their only real trouble may result from their tendency to slow down to the point of stopping when they get together.

Not that I believe in horoscopes, but it is interesting to read. I compared with my horoscope compatibility with Mark, and both were pretty dead on:

Aries and Libra are directly opposite one another in the Zodiac -- 180 degrees apart. Each Sign possesses qualities that the other lacks; combined with Libra's natural yen for harmony, this can be a relationship that enjoys great balance. Aries is the Sign of Self while Libra is the Sign of Partnership, and the differences continue: Aries is impulsive, excitable and ready to jump right into something new and exciting, while Libra is indecisive, peace-loving and prefers a calm, smooth approach. These two Signs share the great sexual attraction common to all Signs opposite in polarity. At the same time, though this pair's connection is amazing when it's good, it can be extremely challenging when it's bad. Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars and Libra is ruled by the Planet Venus. This is a great match, as these are the Planets of Passion and Love, respectively. Venus and Mars go well together as they're the two sides of the love relationship coin. Venus is about the beauty of romance while Mars is about the passion of romance. Both Signs want to be in charge, but Aries uses force and sometimes intimidation to get what they want while Libra uses charm and sometimes manipulation. Compromise is essential to this relationship's health. Diplomatic Libra has a much easier time with compromise than does Aries, who strongly dislikes yielding to another person, viewing it as submission. Libra may have to give in more often to Aries's wishes in order to keep the peace that they so cherish.