Gouda is Good

There are so many things that I am thankful for. It is easy to get caught up in the bad things that have happened in life and to forget all the things that I have been blessed with. I have some really great friends. I love my family. I have a beautiful home and two awesome cats. God has been good to me. I am really glad that I moved to Charlotte.

Mike and I had a bit of a falling out last week. He mistook my emotional-ness as being unhappy with us. He gets really upset when he sees me cry. It made me realize that sometimes I need to make a point to express when I am happy. Happiness doesn't look as obvious as upseted-ness does on me. I have perfected sad, but I am still working on happy.

In fact, I am really happy with Mike. In a lot of ways we are very much alike. In those ways it makes it easy for us to get along. In other ways, we are exact opposites. For those things, we both know that it is a healthier thing for both of us to be more in the middle anyway. So it gives us a chance to learn from one another. As we learn more about one another, our relationship is getting stronger and stronger. We have been dating for 5 months now. This relationship is different than any other relationship I have been in, and it has been a great growth experience for me. I am so incredibly thankful for him.

In general, life is good. I still have personal ups and downs. Sometimes I think I freak out when things are good just because I am scared of losing all the things in my life that make me happy. There have been some really low points in my life, and though they have passed, they have left me with the fear of ever getting back to that bad place. So I pray. And sometimes I get anxious. And sometimes I cry. And sometimes I can just forget and enjoy myself. Those are the best times - when I am just living in the moment and looking forward to the future.