I have been doing better the last few days. Some days are hard, but in general, I have been taking care of myself. I have been asking people for love and support. My sister Kim loves me; she just bought me something from my Amazon wishlist. (Thanks, love ya!) I have been hanging out with friends (some may want to be more than that) who are really sweet to me. I have been learning to accept who can't give me the love and support I need. I deserve to be treated well. I think everyone deserves that. I have been focusing on meeting my unmet needs instead of trying to fix myself. I think talking with my counselor upsets me because she keeps trying to fix me, and it makes me feel like a failure because I can't do what she wants me to do. I don't want to stop focusing on having my family soon. I don't want to reduce the range of my emotions to what society thinks is acceptable. I don't want to stop loving as much as I do. It makes sense to me when I am depressed. It isn't because of a chemical imbalance or something that is wrong with me. It is because certain needs are unmet, and I am disappointed in life. When I find ways to better meet those needs, I am okay. The needs I listed as unmet and the way I have been trying to meet them:
-receive attention: been going out with friends and meeting new people. Corresponding with old/true friends that I know unconditionally love me.
-purpose/goals/meaning: volunteering more often, cutting back on work to get more school work done, learning more about myself
-intimacy: still working on this
-control: realizing the things that are out of my control and not letting myself feel like a failure for those things.
-acceptance: asking people I love to give me positive affirmations. Telling people ways they could actually help.
Life is hard to balance, and I have some handicaps just like everyone else. So, it is a struggle.
Anyway, if you haven't taken my survey yet, please do. If you have taken my survey, send this link to some other people and have them take it. I have 45 responses so far, and I would like to get at least 60.
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=459663321295
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1 comment:
Well, I love you when I don't buy you stuff too ;-) Goober
Have fun on your cruise. And yes, you usually need to take all your own toiletries.
Not sure which one you are going on, but if you're planning on doing any of the excursions, you can often set those up ahead of time online for cheaper. Drawback is you have to know what you want to do ahead of time. Which ports are you stopping at?
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