Composed

I am quietly falling apart
So that nobody can hear
I push them away
Though I need them near
So stubborn and angst
I feel I have regressed
Back to my teenage years
Of hopeless and depressed
Reduced to tears
Empty and tired
Afraid to sleep
And nothing desired
Waiting for something
To fix it all
Be it God or man
They don’t hear my call
Crying for help
That just doesn’t come
Because it is up to me
To get it done
Needing love
The unconditional kind
That makes a difference
And heals time
Desperately seeking
Something I have never found
To be happy and safe
Believing it will all turn out
Here I am, calm and composed
Hurting silently - so that nobody knows