Truth in Advertising

I found this in an old file on my computer from a dating site on which I had posted:


One Amerasian female, slightly used but in good condition. 5'3 1/2'', 125 lbs, brown hair and eyes, own house and car, masters degree, working on PhD. Comes with two cats. Some TLC needed. She grinds her teeth at night, never orders directly off the menu, cries about once or twice a month, works too hard, sometimes forgets to shave her legs, checks her e-mail too often, is allergic to most forms of alcohol, has a thing for tall guys, can't refrain from making smart remarks, is very ticklish, can never find shoes small enough to fit her feet, wants to be friends with most of her ex-boyfriends, likes to talk about emotions, makes excessive lists, always sleeps on the right side of the bed, likes to take mid-afternoon naps, likes her showers too hot, uses big words, has lots of guy friends, can be a clutz, diverts her eyes during the sex scenes in movies, enjoys being nerdy, needs lots of attention, requires commitment, wants kids, doesn't have cable, often interrupts people in the middle of a sentence, is constantly seeking God, likes country music, doesn't like seafood, and writes unconventional personal ads. If you are still interested, she would be well worth the investment. Serious inquiries only.