Invisible

I had a long day today. Just got back from teaching class. I like teaching. Most of my students are actually older than I am. I wonder if they like my class this semester. I am not as well prepared as I was last semester.

I feel detached from everything. My closest friends aren't in Charlotte. My boyfriend has disappeared, and I can't think of anyone else I would rather be with. I was angry at him for maybe a day, but I love him too much to stay angry. He isn't perfect, and he makes mistakes. So do I. I am praying for him constantly. I am praying for myself too. I don't do well with hurt. Most other things I can handle. I have been trying to get everything in my life back in order.

I spend a lot of my time alone. I feel best when I am thinking about others instead of myself. I feel best when I am helping strangers. They don't need to know my problems, and in some way I can be useful to them. Maybe I should refocus my life on just giving like Mother Teresa instead of hoping to get something in return. I don't think I can be that selfless though. It does seem to be the only way not to get hurt.

My mom's birthday is tomorrow. She won't tell Watson how old she is.

I work tomorrow and Friday. Kirk and I are taking Sable to pet therapy with old people on Saturday. Hands on Charlotte does have volunteer opportunities but not as many as LA Works. I have to find some other organizations for volunteer activities. I love people.