I posted a room for rent on Craigslist. I am not sure how I feel about the whole roommate thing, but I think the extra money and less empty house will be good. I went to my first class for this semester, and it went all right. It is just me, Matt, and 'a boy named' Su.
I had left overs for dinner tonight, and I am going to read some of the assigned readings for class. Tomorrow, I am going to finalize the stuff for the class I am teaching. I also need to get by the dealership and get the state inspection sticker for my car. I think I am also going to go to the sporting goods store named after my mom's boyfriend to try out some of the elliptical machines.
Happy Birthday Jim! Don't know if he reads my blog anymore, but just in case.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Rainy Days
It started raining last night and rained through the morning. I just had some pizza for breakfast, and I am working from home. My schedule is pretty busy this semester:
Mondays, Tuesdays: Work 9 AM - 5:30 PM
Wednesdays: Work 9 AM - 1 PM, Class 2 PM - 5 PM
Thursdays: Office Hours 9 AM - 5 PM, Class 5:30 PM - 8:30 PM
Fridays: Office Hours: 9 AM - 11 AM, Teach 11 AM - 2 PM, Class 2 PM - 4:30 PM
Mondays, Tuesdays: Work 9 AM - 5:30 PM
Wednesdays: Work 9 AM - 1 PM, Class 2 PM - 5 PM
Thursdays: Office Hours 9 AM - 5 PM, Class 5:30 PM - 8:30 PM
Fridays: Office Hours: 9 AM - 11 AM, Teach 11 AM - 2 PM, Class 2 PM - 4:30 PM
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Nurple!
Back to the daily grind. Mark left this morning, and school starts next week. I just created my class home page, nothing to fancy, but it will be functional enough. Okay, back to work I guess.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
I am an Impostor!
The title of this post was inspired by one of the workshops I attended today.
This is a picture from the conference of my "white guys" doing a skit. It was quite interesting. I have met some really cool people even if they made me feel insanely old.
This is a picture from the conference of my "white guys" doing a skit. It was quite interesting. I have met some really cool people even if they made me feel insanely old.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Stereotypes
What Women Said about Men:
Value . . . competition, materialism, and wealth. Don't value . . . helping the needy, tolerance, and assimilation.
What Men Said about Women:
Value . . . being treated fairly, pursuing happiness, and standing up for what is right. Don't value . . . being on time, looking out for themselves, and entrepeneuralship.
Value . . . competition, materialism, and wealth. Don't value . . . helping the needy, tolerance, and assimilation.
What Men Said about Women:
Value . . . being treated fairly, pursuing happiness, and standing up for what is right. Don't value . . . being on time, looking out for themselves, and entrepeneuralship.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Conference Time
I have been attending facilitator workshops at the conference I am attending in Atlanta. I think the conference coordinators are annoyed at me because I keep interjecting humor in their diversity workshops.
Anyhow, Mark left this morning. Poor thing, he had a presentation right after he got in to LA. Hopefully he made it on time. We stayed at the Ritz Carlton in downtown Atlanta. He got a really romantic room and had rose petals spread before I got there.
I am going to take a nap now . . . I am at the Regency Suites and have been downgraded to a pull out couch. :-(
Friday, August 04, 2006
Busy Pam!
Today: Working from home, flying to Atlanta
Sat & Sun: Atlanta with Mark!
Mon - Fri: Student Leadership Conference
Sat & Sun: Toronto with Mark!
Then I have a week to prepare for the class I am teaching in the fall.
Yikes!
Sat & Sun: Atlanta with Mark!
Mon - Fri: Student Leadership Conference
Sat & Sun: Toronto with Mark!
Then I have a week to prepare for the class I am teaching in the fall.
Yikes!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Cheer up Sleepy Jean
I am very sleepy! I took a nap after I got home from work yesterday, but then I ended up staying up all night. (Alone, thank you very much.) I did, however, manage to put together a collage of pictures of me and people others thought I look like. There aren't that many though. I guess I usually just look like me.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Happy
For goodness sake, when people are happy, you should let them be happy! Life is so short, why should we try to rob somene else of their happiness? When someone is happy, be happy for them. I might even go as far as to say when people are sad, let them be sad! If they are sad, console them but don't expect them to become unsad.
That is one of the biggest problems with society. Emotions are taboo; they have a negative connotation. To cry or to laugh too often results in people telling you that you must grow up . . . Children can laugh 15 times a day, cry 5, and have any range of emotion from morning to night. Feeling is invigorating! But we are supposed to be adults, right? We should be "stable" and "responsible," not impulsive like little children . . .
"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Thank you, Jesus! You remind us that what the world wants isn't what God wants.
I want to feel the gamut of my emotions. I want to revel in my sadnesses and rejoice in new love. I want to cry during sad country songs and laugh at cheesy jokes. I want to rebuke filth from entering my life and invite goodness with open arms. I want to live intentionally. I want to love without reservation. I want to be grumpy when I am sleepy and seek comfort when I am vulnerable. I want to cower under my covers when I am scared, take naps when I am sleepy, work when I am feeling motivated, and have fun when I am ready to play.
So much of our time and energy is spent trying to change how we feel to suit others or our own expectations. In many ways, it just cripples us. I think if everyone could just accept us for where we are, we all would be able to grow so much faster and stronger . . . now don't mistake me here . . . acceptance for the moment we are in does not mean complacency . . . accepting weakness is reality, empowering it is uncalled for. As with everything else, there is a fine balance between loving and supporting with the intent to counteract change or to catalyze it.
That is one of the biggest problems with society. Emotions are taboo; they have a negative connotation. To cry or to laugh too often results in people telling you that you must grow up . . . Children can laugh 15 times a day, cry 5, and have any range of emotion from morning to night. Feeling is invigorating! But we are supposed to be adults, right? We should be "stable" and "responsible," not impulsive like little children . . .
"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Thank you, Jesus! You remind us that what the world wants isn't what God wants.
I want to feel the gamut of my emotions. I want to revel in my sadnesses and rejoice in new love. I want to cry during sad country songs and laugh at cheesy jokes. I want to rebuke filth from entering my life and invite goodness with open arms. I want to live intentionally. I want to love without reservation. I want to be grumpy when I am sleepy and seek comfort when I am vulnerable. I want to cower under my covers when I am scared, take naps when I am sleepy, work when I am feeling motivated, and have fun when I am ready to play.
So much of our time and energy is spent trying to change how we feel to suit others or our own expectations. In many ways, it just cripples us. I think if everyone could just accept us for where we are, we all would be able to grow so much faster and stronger . . . now don't mistake me here . . . acceptance for the moment we are in does not mean complacency . . . accepting weakness is reality, empowering it is uncalled for. As with everything else, there is a fine balance between loving and supporting with the intent to counteract change or to catalyze it.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Dirt
Okay, it seems like new random people are hitting my blog, so I thought I would make it easy for you to get some dirt on me:
-I am half Chinese, but I don't act it at all. I hate seafood and tea, am not fond of rice, and always as for a fork at Chinese restaurants if they only give me chopsticks.
-I am 5' 3 1/2''. The half is very important.
-I can't see out of my left eye; I have been legally blind in it since birth. Therefore, I hate to drive and often seek out friends to drive me around.
-I have two cats. I have not met the 3 cat-cat lady rule, so I am safe.
-I am currently typing this in my underwear, of which I bought on eBay (they were new!)
-I like country music.
-In high school, I didn't get the normal superlatives. I got named as "Diderot, most likely to write my own encyclopedia" and "most likely to correct the dictionary."
-I am addicted to email. I check my email very often, but I tend to respond a lot less often.
-I like naps. I am a big fan of mid-afternoon naps.
-I have very small feet, measured once at size 4 and a half. No, they weren't bound when I was a small child.
-
-I am half Chinese, but I don't act it at all. I hate seafood and tea, am not fond of rice, and always as for a fork at Chinese restaurants if they only give me chopsticks.
-I am 5' 3 1/2''. The half is very important.
-I can't see out of my left eye; I have been legally blind in it since birth. Therefore, I hate to drive and often seek out friends to drive me around.
-I have two cats. I have not met the 3 cat-cat lady rule, so I am safe.
-I am currently typing this in my underwear, of which I bought on eBay (they were new!)
-I like country music.
-In high school, I didn't get the normal superlatives. I got named as "Diderot, most likely to write my own encyclopedia" and "most likely to correct the dictionary."
-I am addicted to email. I check my email very often, but I tend to respond a lot less often.
-I like naps. I am a big fan of mid-afternoon naps.
-I have very small feet, measured once at size 4 and a half. No, they weren't bound when I was a small child.
-
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Head over Heels
That saying just doesn't make sense to me. I mean, isn't your head over your heels normally? Wouldn't it be like telling someone that you make them feel normal? Confusing.
Jess and Brian are going to house sit for me not this coming week but the next. I had painters come and paint the entry way. It looks good. There are still some yellow walls that I need to get rid of, but all the high walls have been painted. They go so fast! They have this huge roller on this long stick and these gigantic buckets. It's crazy.
I have been busy lately . . . class, work, etc. Ugh, it never ends. I am excited about teaching my first class in the fall. It hit home today when I actually saw that I had a class roster. Weird.
Dave, when are you going to come visit me? I have been waiting for you to come see me all summer!! Sad Pam. I have a guest room all ready and everything.
How is everyone else doing? I feel like I have been so far removed from everything. I want to figure out a way to have less responsibilities, but I can never seem to find something that I am willing to let go. I have been trying to teach the cats how to take out the trash but to no avail.
Learning from my summer experience, I already bought my books for the fall. Watch me get the wrong edition or something. I was thinking about dropping a class to have a lighter load for research, but I need to take multivariate statistics for some of the papers I am working on. The other two classes (hopefully) will be seminar based classes, so hopefully they won't be tremendous amounts of work.
I need to get to bed soon because I am actually going in to work tomorrow. I always forget to calculate transit time in my arrival, so I tend to be late. I make up for it the time I work from home and triage phone calls when I should be studying, but I like to make it in relatively close to 9 AM.
Hmm. Not writing much of substance tonight.
Jess and Brian are going to house sit for me not this coming week but the next. I had painters come and paint the entry way. It looks good. There are still some yellow walls that I need to get rid of, but all the high walls have been painted. They go so fast! They have this huge roller on this long stick and these gigantic buckets. It's crazy.
I have been busy lately . . . class, work, etc. Ugh, it never ends. I am excited about teaching my first class in the fall. It hit home today when I actually saw that I had a class roster. Weird.
Dave, when are you going to come visit me? I have been waiting for you to come see me all summer!! Sad Pam. I have a guest room all ready and everything.
How is everyone else doing? I feel like I have been so far removed from everything. I want to figure out a way to have less responsibilities, but I can never seem to find something that I am willing to let go. I have been trying to teach the cats how to take out the trash but to no avail.
Learning from my summer experience, I already bought my books for the fall. Watch me get the wrong edition or something. I was thinking about dropping a class to have a lighter load for research, but I need to take multivariate statistics for some of the papers I am working on. The other two classes (hopefully) will be seminar based classes, so hopefully they won't be tremendous amounts of work.
I need to get to bed soon because I am actually going in to work tomorrow. I always forget to calculate transit time in my arrival, so I tend to be late. I make up for it the time I work from home and triage phone calls when I should be studying, but I like to make it in relatively close to 9 AM.
Hmm. Not writing much of substance tonight.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Unmotivated
Bleh. How Pam feels right now.
I have some painters coming over tomorrow to paint the high walls in the foyer. Here is my list of things to do tomorrow:
1) Go see Dr. Cooper about Test 2
2) Write my section for the group project
3) Start Test 3
4) Go to class
Tomorrow will be a strictly academic day. I tend to focus more on work and home lately. I need to get back into the groove of studying. I have to start preparing for the class I am teaching in the fall.
My check engine light is still on, but I don't think I will have time to do anything about that until Monday.
I have some painters coming over tomorrow to paint the high walls in the foyer. Here is my list of things to do tomorrow:
1) Go see Dr. Cooper about Test 2
2) Write my section for the group project
3) Start Test 3
4) Go to class
Tomorrow will be a strictly academic day. I tend to focus more on work and home lately. I need to get back into the groove of studying. I have to start preparing for the class I am teaching in the fall.
My check engine light is still on, but I don't think I will have time to do anything about that until Monday.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Abducted
Okay, I wasn't abducted as my mom had feared. I am home safe. Mark and I had a great time, and I also got to see Tausha. Since I now know that Tausha has been reading my blog religiously, Tausha - I posted the pictures on my Yahoo Photos. As of right now, they are still uploading. There will be 15 pictures in all!
One of my favorites:
One of my favorites:
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Packing
I am packing for Los Angeles! It seems wrong that everything fit into one suitcase. I feel like I must be missing something! I am going to bed because I have to get up and work tomorrow before I go. Kirk is being a sweetheart and dropping me off at the airport, and Wendy will probably house sit the cats.
BTW, I have a webcam now. You can see Pam Live! on Yahoo at pamela_j_karr. Weird. It was a present; I probably (actually, I know because I am so cheap) wouldn't have gotten one for myself.
I went with some friends tonight to get a pedicure, and while I was at it, I said, what the heck, and I got a manicure too. We went to eat at some place called something like the Moosehead or something. I saw a dark blue Montero Sport outside, so I thought maybe Gene was there. He has probably traded his truck in for a new car by now anyway. It was kinda stressful for about 2 seconds.
I couldn't sleep last night. I got home from class around 9:30 PM, and I started working on Test 2 for my class. I was having some problems with some of the equations because the variables weren't very clearly defined. So I stressed about that some because without the book, it made it hard to figure anything out. I bought the book on Half.com, but it never got here. I called the local bookstores and no one has the book. So, my test id due Monday. I don't really want to work on it on my trip, but I guess I will have to. I am going to bring my laptop on the plane so maybe that will give me some time to work on it.
G'night.
BTW, I have a webcam now. You can see Pam Live! on Yahoo at pamela_j_karr. Weird. It was a present; I probably (actually, I know because I am so cheap) wouldn't have gotten one for myself.
I went with some friends tonight to get a pedicure, and while I was at it, I said, what the heck, and I got a manicure too. We went to eat at some place called something like the Moosehead or something. I saw a dark blue Montero Sport outside, so I thought maybe Gene was there. He has probably traded his truck in for a new car by now anyway. It was kinda stressful for about 2 seconds.
I couldn't sleep last night. I got home from class around 9:30 PM, and I started working on Test 2 for my class. I was having some problems with some of the equations because the variables weren't very clearly defined. So I stressed about that some because without the book, it made it hard to figure anything out. I bought the book on Half.com, but it never got here. I called the local bookstores and no one has the book. So, my test id due Monday. I don't really want to work on it on my trip, but I guess I will have to. I am going to bring my laptop on the plane so maybe that will give me some time to work on it.
G'night.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Well, Darn It
I bought some pilates DVDs so I could get back into shape, but my DVD remote doesn't work. So, I can only watch the part of the video that the arrow defaults to on the menu. I can't scroll up or down. Oh bother!
Object of Affection
I have always thought that what mattered was the object of the affection, not the source. However, I have come to realize that, if not completely at least for the most part, loving well depends on the lover.
We are all worthy of being loved. If someone doesn't love us enough, it is probably because of their inability to love instead of the lack of lovable qualities in us. There have times whereI have thought "if I could just be better, I know he would love me." Thinking like that can drive one mental. (Stealing vernacular from Mr. Miller, thank you.)
We are all worthy of being loved. If someone doesn't love us enough, it is probably because of their inability to love instead of the lack of lovable qualities in us. There have times whereI have thought "if I could just be better, I know he would love me." Thinking like that can drive one mental. (Stealing vernacular from Mr. Miller, thank you.)
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Brevity
For some reason, I have been posting more pictures and writing less lately. My blog has been abandoned! Sigh.
I guess part of the reason I have been relatively quiet lately is because the things on my mind might end up hurting other people. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about my recently ended 7 month relationship with Gene. However, he is a good guy, and I wouldn't want him coming across something and taking it the wrong way. I am not angry at him. I am sad sometimes that two people can love each other and not make each other happy.
Then there are the things I have on my mind that can't really be revealed in a general forum. I have family, friends, coworkers, strangers, and who knows who else who come across my frequent ramblings. Some things I just can't tell all of you at once. I mean, I am a fairly open person. However, different people need to hear different versions of the truth. And, I am not the only one included in my thoughts. I know a lot of people are not as forthcoming as I am, and I must respect that.
Anyhow, I have an orange cat who needs to be fed.
I guess part of the reason I have been relatively quiet lately is because the things on my mind might end up hurting other people. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about my recently ended 7 month relationship with Gene. However, he is a good guy, and I wouldn't want him coming across something and taking it the wrong way. I am not angry at him. I am sad sometimes that two people can love each other and not make each other happy.
Then there are the things I have on my mind that can't really be revealed in a general forum. I have family, friends, coworkers, strangers, and who knows who else who come across my frequent ramblings. Some things I just can't tell all of you at once. I mean, I am a fairly open person. However, different people need to hear different versions of the truth. And, I am not the only one included in my thoughts. I know a lot of people are not as forthcoming as I am, and I must respect that.
Anyhow, I have an orange cat who needs to be fed.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
I Love Cheese
I had a pretty uneventful Friday night, but it was nice. I went grocery shopping and just vegged out around the house. I have some friends coming over tonight. I am flying to LA next weekend, so I need to get some homework done this weekend. I am such a procrastinator. I spent some time paying bills and balancing my money today.
Here is a summary of my financial position:
Income Less Expenses for 2006: $15,172.03
Total Assets: $243,531.21
Total Liabilities: $138,668.75
That's not too bad for a college student. What worries me is the numbers in red at the end of some of the months where my expenses exceed my income. Working part-time does not equate to wealth, that's for sure.
Speaking of money, I need to go to Wal-Mart and buy some longer cables for my new TV. I need to get someone to help me put up the component shelf and hide the wires.
I also need to vaccuum before people come over today. My mom and Watson pulled a whole cat out of my vaccuum cleaner, so I think it works again. Yay!
Life is good.
Here is a summary of my financial position:
Income Less Expenses for 2006: $15,172.03
Total Assets: $243,531.21
Total Liabilities: $138,668.75
That's not too bad for a college student. What worries me is the numbers in red at the end of some of the months where my expenses exceed my income. Working part-time does not equate to wealth, that's for sure.
Speaking of money, I need to go to Wal-Mart and buy some longer cables for my new TV. I need to get someone to help me put up the component shelf and hide the wires.
I also need to vaccuum before people come over today. My mom and Watson pulled a whole cat out of my vaccuum cleaner, so I think it works again. Yay!
Life is good.
Friday, July 14, 2006
My Favorite Artist
I found this artist on eBay. If you like the art in my house, she does a great job for a great price! Oh, and she is Canadian too.
Nadia Beltei
Nadia Beltei
Thursday, July 13, 2006
X Mark's the Spot
Okay, he is going to kill me for posting a picture of him, but I can't help it. I want everyone to meet the great guy I met . . . who happens to live in LA. Even though this looks like a Sears portrait (kinda cheesy but cute), it was actually taken with my camera in my office with the auto timer.
Not sure what possessed me to meet someone across the country, but no one has ever accused me of being sane before. We shall see . . .
Not sure what possessed me to meet someone across the country, but no one has ever accused me of being sane before. We shall see . . .
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Pictures!
Okay, I created a Yahoo Photo album because these were too many pictures to post on my blog. Click here to view the pictures. The first group of pictures are thanks to my mom and Watson. They decided to come and weed my yard on their vacation. (I didn't make them!) The second pictures are of my dining room. I must be sick. I painted a whole room by myself! I love the color though. Happy viewing!
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Monday, July 10, 2006
Mom's Back
I went to my second summer class today; mom and Watson were back at my house when I got back from class. Something homey about having your mom and her boyfriend at home eating sandwiches and chicken soup. My mom and I narrowed down the paint chips to a few possible colors for the dining room. I am ready for bed.
I feel bad because I get all these messages on my space, but I never respond. I am really just on there to catch up with people I already know. I have lots of friends here in Charlotte so I am not really motivated to meet more strangers from the Internet.
Phone call . . . gotta go.
I feel bad because I get all these messages on my space, but I never respond. I am really just on there to catch up with people I already know. I have lots of friends here in Charlotte so I am not really motivated to meet more strangers from the Internet.
Phone call . . . gotta go.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
To Seem or to Be
Which is more important . . . to seem or to be? What if someone is 100% good/right about something internally, but they don't outwardly convey that? What if someone seems how they should be but they really aren't? We want to believe that time and consistency will uncover the true nature of people, but what if that isn't true? What if someone will always be a person who feels the right way inside but cannot express it? We can't live inside of each other. So it is as important to act as we are as to be as we are or should be.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Interesting
Even though my blog is blocked for me from work, it looks like upper-management has no problem accessing my blog. :-) So as my boss and boss's boss were looking around my website yesterday, they comments on the ROUS - which they believe is a beaver and decided that I should update my resume. That doesn't sound good to me!
My mom and Watson headed out this morning. I am regrouping after the visit. They weeded by backyard and want to finish the front when they come back through. Shesh. My neighbors are going to think badly about me . . . having old people slaving in my yard.
I am going to get ready for work now.
Pam!
My mom and Watson headed out this morning. I am regrouping after the visit. They weeded by backyard and want to finish the front when they come back through. Shesh. My neighbors are going to think badly about me . . . having old people slaving in my yard.
I am going to get ready for work now.
Pam!
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Monday, July 03, 2006
Friday, June 30, 2006
Random
Sometimes you just want to ask people a) are you really that shallow or b) are you just acting like you are shallow so you don't expose your vulnerabilities or c) do you just not get it?
My tummy is full. I have eaten way too much the past few days, but I like it. It is late so I need to be going to bed soon.
Life has been kind of crazy the last few weeks. Life changes very quickly. I am not quite sure where I am at right now. Too busy to regroup, and I am actually doing pretty well. God is teaching me new lessons every day. I can't only hope that I am sharp enough to pick up on them.
Wish One: I want to date someone who prays before meals. I always wanted to pray before I ate, but I have always been to chicken to do it. There was a guy I worked with at Home Depot, and he would always pray before he ate. That really makes a man sexy.
I was told today that I have a house that is all ready for a family. I must have missed a step or two in that whole process . . .
My mom is coming to town next week. Yay. I haven't seen her since New Year's.
I love my cats. Why do guys think that liking cats isn't masculine? Cats are great.
I might visit Kim and Tony for Labor Day. Maybe it was Memorial Day. I always get the two confused. Sigh.
My tummy is full. I have eaten way too much the past few days, but I like it. It is late so I need to be going to bed soon.
Life has been kind of crazy the last few weeks. Life changes very quickly. I am not quite sure where I am at right now. Too busy to regroup, and I am actually doing pretty well. God is teaching me new lessons every day. I can't only hope that I am sharp enough to pick up on them.
Wish One: I want to date someone who prays before meals. I always wanted to pray before I ate, but I have always been to chicken to do it. There was a guy I worked with at Home Depot, and he would always pray before he ate. That really makes a man sexy.
I was told today that I have a house that is all ready for a family. I must have missed a step or two in that whole process . . .
My mom is coming to town next week. Yay. I haven't seen her since New Year's.
I love my cats. Why do guys think that liking cats isn't masculine? Cats are great.
I might visit Kim and Tony for Labor Day. Maybe it was Memorial Day. I always get the two confused. Sigh.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Camping, Camping, Camping
Here is a picture from camping a few weeks ago. Virginia got a great shot of my armpit. Good thing I shaved!
Selfish
People keep telling me that I need to learn how to be selfish. I don't know how to be selfish. I know what I want, and I don't have a problem letting people know what that is - but I don't enjoy being selfish. It feels good when someone else does something for me, but I don't really get much out of doing things for myself. I have accomplished a lot in the last 26 years, but I don't really do it for myself. The things that I am proud of are more the things that I do for other people. The things that make me happy are when other people do things for me. I am a very relationship oriented person. I don't want to be selfish. I don't think the Bible says anything about being selfish. You are supposed to be humble, self-sacrificing, a servant. The description of a marriage is more like two people submitting to each other instead of taking care or themselves. Everything we do should be to glorify God, not ourselves. Who is right?
There are so many people without any depth. Sometimes I envy them because it seems to make their lives so easy. Are they really happy? I don't understand. I tend to inject meaning into everything. Probably too much sometimes. I revel in possibility. I like submerging myself in all of our beautiful imperfections. Why ignore them? They make us.
There she goes again - rambling. :-)
There are so many people without any depth. Sometimes I envy them because it seems to make their lives so easy. Are they really happy? I don't understand. I tend to inject meaning into everything. Probably too much sometimes. I revel in possibility. I like submerging myself in all of our beautiful imperfections. Why ignore them? They make us.
There she goes again - rambling. :-)
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
A Lesson in Persistence
Ra is the most resilient cat in the world. For instance, he meowed for two hours straight this morning to try to wake me up to feed him. And, he has begun to do so again for his evening feeding. I was going to go to the gym tonight and get a membership, but maybe I will do that later in the week.
I am going to the Melting Pot tomorrow! I have company in town this weekend, and my mom is coming into town for the 4th of July.
I need to find time to fly out and see Kim and Tony. I am so busy these days.
I bought a 37'' flat panel television. By the goodness of kind gentlemen, I now have it hanging on the wall. I need to get a component shelf and some way to hide the cords.
I am sleepy, but I really should be productive tonight.
Pam!
I am going to the Melting Pot tomorrow! I have company in town this weekend, and my mom is coming into town for the 4th of July.
I need to find time to fly out and see Kim and Tony. I am so busy these days.
I bought a 37'' flat panel television. By the goodness of kind gentlemen, I now have it hanging on the wall. I need to get a component shelf and some way to hide the cords.
I am sleepy, but I really should be productive tonight.
Pam!
Sunday, June 25, 2006
To Do
Some things I have to work on:
1) Taking out the trash on Sunday nights
2) Cleaning the bathroom
3) Keeping in touch with friends
4) Painting
5) Knowing what tools I own
1) Taking out the trash on Sunday nights
2) Cleaning the bathroom
3) Keeping in touch with friends
4) Painting
5) Knowing what tools I own
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Hmmm, Interesting
Comments I hear the most . . .
"So you are a cheap date." (regarding my inability to drink)
"Smart a*s."
"You really have your s**t together."
Any additions?
"So you are a cheap date." (regarding my inability to drink)
"Smart a*s."
"You really have your s**t together."
Any additions?
Monday, June 19, 2006
If you have cake, you should be able to eat it
Someone put away my trash can for me today. That was nice of them! I slept a lot today because I wasn't feeling well. Hopefully I will be able to sleep better tonight. I just felt like my stomach was full of acid. Bleh.
I think Gene and I have officially broken up. His goals are more career oriented. He will make a great crew chief one day. I seem like I am very career oriented, but I am most interested in having a family. I don't want kids for at least 4 more years, but that is the direction I want to go. If you think about it, 4 years isn't very far away. Wow, time flies.
Anyway, the Brad Paisley concert was awesome. Not only is he a great singer, he is cute and his songs are either mushy or funny or both. I should see if I can find the one about the toilet seat. Jay accompanied me to the concert which was cool. I had already purchased two tickets, and I wasn't about to go alone. (I mean, then I would have had to drive.) Hopefully he had fun too.
I just got back from the grocery store. The kitties were out of food, so I had to go pick some up. The cashier looks at me like I am crazy when I come to the register with only a bag of cat food at 11 PM. These are some spolied cats.
I think Gene and I have officially broken up. His goals are more career oriented. He will make a great crew chief one day. I seem like I am very career oriented, but I am most interested in having a family. I don't want kids for at least 4 more years, but that is the direction I want to go. If you think about it, 4 years isn't very far away. Wow, time flies.
Anyway, the Brad Paisley concert was awesome. Not only is he a great singer, he is cute and his songs are either mushy or funny or both. I should see if I can find the one about the toilet seat. Jay accompanied me to the concert which was cool. I had already purchased two tickets, and I wasn't about to go alone. (I mean, then I would have had to drive.) Hopefully he had fun too.
I just got back from the grocery store. The kitties were out of food, so I had to go pick some up. The cashier looks at me like I am crazy when I come to the register with only a bag of cat food at 11 PM. These are some spolied cats.
Awww
See what my friend sent me as a thank you present? Nice and thoughtful people are awesome! My tummy feels better now.
Tummy Ache
I woke up with a tummy ache and can't get back to sleep. :-( All I had yesterday was pizza and soda. I took some tums but I am still feeling icky. Yuck. Ugh. Bleh.
Quick, call me and tell me how much you love me and make me feel better.
Ick,
Pam
Quick, call me and tell me how much you love me and make me feel better.
Ick,
Pam
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Happy Father's Day
I have kind of forgotten about this holiday since my dad died when I was seven. The message in church today made me cry. However, I am a chick so I like to cry sometimes. It talked about what we all need from a father and what kinds of fathers there are . . . absent, abusive, achievement oriented, good, etc. It also talked about how we transfer our relationship with our fathers to our relationship with God.
I am glad my father wasn't abusive. I mean, there have been abusive father figures in my life, but they weren't my dad. I think that would have screwed me up even more!
My dad was absent. He died when I was seven, but even before that he was there but not engaged in my life. He was older and probably already had Cancer when I was born. All he would do was play atari (which I still have in my garage), sit in his recliner, and watch the 49ers. He taught my sister how to throw a football.
But, I am not angry at my dad. He never hurt me; he just wasn't there. I guess that does hurt in some ways . . .when I go to a wedding and see the father-daughter dance, I always tear up.
And, I think it does affect my relationship with God. It is hard for me to feel like God is really there, protecting me, interested in me. I know He is there, but sometimes I haveto remind myself because it just doesn't make sense to me.
All in all, the message made me realize that when I am shopping for a husband, I need to remember that I am shopping for the dad for my future kids. Yeah, that sentence just scared all the commitment-phobic guys away. Run!
Regardless of how I tend to make father's day a non-event - fathers are very important. So for those of you who are dads, don't forget that there is someone who will always be looking for your love and acceptance. Reflect love, not apathy.
I am glad my father wasn't abusive. I mean, there have been abusive father figures in my life, but they weren't my dad. I think that would have screwed me up even more!
My dad was absent. He died when I was seven, but even before that he was there but not engaged in my life. He was older and probably already had Cancer when I was born. All he would do was play atari (which I still have in my garage), sit in his recliner, and watch the 49ers. He taught my sister how to throw a football.
But, I am not angry at my dad. He never hurt me; he just wasn't there. I guess that does hurt in some ways . . .when I go to a wedding and see the father-daughter dance, I always tear up.
And, I think it does affect my relationship with God. It is hard for me to feel like God is really there, protecting me, interested in me. I know He is there, but sometimes I haveto remind myself because it just doesn't make sense to me.
All in all, the message made me realize that when I am shopping for a husband, I need to remember that I am shopping for the dad for my future kids. Yeah, that sentence just scared all the commitment-phobic guys away. Run!
Regardless of how I tend to make father's day a non-event - fathers are very important. So for those of you who are dads, don't forget that there is someone who will always be looking for your love and acceptance. Reflect love, not apathy.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Spam
I think a Pam message board would be more fitting than a Pam blog. I am not one who enjoys soliloquy; I am much better with dialogue. A blog is kinda lonely. I mean, I definitely am one to share my thoughts, feelings, and random other stuff - but really, with whom am I sharing, and do they care?
Darn it, I am being pensive again. I keep doing that.
I am going to go to church this Sunday. I am going to try to go with Matt and Amy to their small group next Sunday. I am happier when I am pursuing God more vigilantly.
I am going to a Brad Paisley concert tomorrow night. Where have all the country music fans gone?
Agape,
Pam
Darn it, I am being pensive again. I keep doing that.
I am going to go to church this Sunday. I am going to try to go with Matt and Amy to their small group next Sunday. I am happier when I am pursuing God more vigilantly.
I am going to a Brad Paisley concert tomorrow night. Where have all the country music fans gone?
Agape,
Pam
Sunday, June 04, 2006
My Twin, Cat and All!
I have rediscovered my twin on MySpace. She and I went to high school together and sat beside each other in debate class. Everyone thought we were twins.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
I'm an Idiot
Okay, so the USPS lady rung the doorbell, and I knew it would be my new paintings. I ran downstairs, but my keys were upstairs. So, I went to get the key from the backdoor. I guess Gene had taken it out. So, I ran back upstairs to get my key, and by the time I opened the freakin' door, the USPS lady was gone. All I had was a little note to pick it up tomorrow. Argh! So, I saw her down the street. I ran down my street to try to catch her. The sidewalk wasn't that bad, but the ashphalt was crazy hot. I missed her, so I had to run back to the house in my barefeet. I swear, I got 3rd degree burns on my feet. So, still determined, I hopped in my car and chased her around the neighborhood. I flagged her down and waived my delivery slip. I hobbled over to the mail truck, and I retrieved my package! She almost didn't let me have them because I didn't have my license with me. Whew! So, no I can't walk, but my paintings are here! I think I am going to hop downstairs and see if I can find my solarcaine to spray on my feet. Ouch!!!
Monday, May 29, 2006
What the Heck?
So, can anyone identify this animal? I went to Asheville to see the Biltmore, Chimney Rock, and Lake Lure. This animal was outside a restaurant we went to eat at. An ROUS possibly?
Monday, May 22, 2006
Summer = Bikini = Yuck
I am officially on a diet. The pool opened last weekend, and I am no where near ready to get in a bathing suit. I am thinking about getting an elliptical machine for one of the extra rooms, but I haven't decided if I am too cheap yet.
What are fun things to do in Charlotte for the summer?
What are fun things to do in Charlotte for the summer?
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Intrinsic Motivation
I should be studying for my Organizational Behavior and Leadership final exam that I have in five hours. I have read all the materials, made my study sheet, and decided that my brain is full.
Where is morality going in this world? I joined MySpace and all I see seems to be people advertising immorality. I am tired of seeing pictures with the sole intent to seduce. I need to seek Christ more often in my daily life. It is hard to find a guy my age who is interested in God. Where would you find this type of guy?
I feel like I live multiple lives that are divergingly and irrepairably separate. On one hand, I am a PhD student, on another I am a systems developer, on another . . . I am something else. There are so many facets to who I am, and I feel like I can't bring them all together so people can see the culmination of me.
Where is morality going in this world? I joined MySpace and all I see seems to be people advertising immorality. I am tired of seeing pictures with the sole intent to seduce. I need to seek Christ more often in my daily life. It is hard to find a guy my age who is interested in God. Where would you find this type of guy?
I feel like I live multiple lives that are divergingly and irrepairably separate. On one hand, I am a PhD student, on another I am a systems developer, on another . . . I am something else. There are so many facets to who I am, and I feel like I can't bring them all together so people can see the culmination of me.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Where'd She Go?
I am still around everyone! I have just been busy with school and what not. My boyfriend and I are trying to decide if we should stay together or go our separate ways. We have some tough decisions to make. Work is going well. School is going pretty good too. I recently bought a new camera. Here are some pictures of the house.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
She's Got Class
Yup, in eleven minutes. I don't know if I can make it through stats this morning. I am starving. I had a PB&J sandwich and a Jack in the Box hamburger for dinner last night. Weird, I know. I have been really tired lately which makes it hard to get everything I need to get done done.
Last night I called Tony and Jim because I needed to know if a particular variable should be considered a covariate or an independent factor. Unfortunately, I did not find a conclusive answer.
After class, I am going to mail a book that I sold on Half.com and return some St. Patty's PJ bottoms that I bought at Old Navy. After that, I am going to get some food! Maybe Chick-fil-A. I wonder if I can get someone to meet me for lunch today. Beats eating alone.
Hugs,
Pam
Last night I called Tony and Jim because I needed to know if a particular variable should be considered a covariate or an independent factor. Unfortunately, I did not find a conclusive answer.
After class, I am going to mail a book that I sold on Half.com and return some St. Patty's PJ bottoms that I bought at Old Navy. After that, I am going to get some food! Maybe Chick-fil-A. I wonder if I can get someone to meet me for lunch today. Beats eating alone.
Hugs,
Pam
Monday, March 13, 2006
Flawed
I have come to the conclusion that we are all just fatally flawed. We all have some part of our inner being that is secretly or sometimes not so secretly tortured. It is sad. Life is hard. Happiness is the ultimate goal, but it tends not to be something people naturally are. Maybe that is the point. Maybe it wouldn't truly be happiness if there was no struggle to get there.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Study Day
Today is my study day. I have mid-term in Organizational Behavior and Leadership. I actually really like that class . . . compared to my other classes, it is fun. It is an MBA course, so it (no offense) has been pretty easy. The reading is almost like leisure reading for me. It doesn't make my brain hurt. My midterm is at 6:30 PM. I have some more stuff to read, but I am not stressing too much.
Things have been stressful with Gene. Mostly personality conflicts . . . nothing big, but it can be wearing over time. It is hard because I compare everything to a time in the past where I was my happiest. So when you aren't as happy now as you have been before, maybe it just taints how you feel now.
I had a PB&J sandwich for breakfast. I had some special Pam potato and egg salad for lunch. All topped off with two diet pepsi's.
I think I am just going to stay home and play catch up for Spring Break. I want to go see Kim and Tony, but I don't want to drive and am too cheap for a plane ticket.
I forgot I was writing this and supposed to be studying and started surfing the web. I guess I better get back to what I am supposed to be doing now.
Things have been stressful with Gene. Mostly personality conflicts . . . nothing big, but it can be wearing over time. It is hard because I compare everything to a time in the past where I was my happiest. So when you aren't as happy now as you have been before, maybe it just taints how you feel now.
I had a PB&J sandwich for breakfast. I had some special Pam potato and egg salad for lunch. All topped off with two diet pepsi's.
I think I am just going to stay home and play catch up for Spring Break. I want to go see Kim and Tony, but I don't want to drive and am too cheap for a plane ticket.
I forgot I was writing this and supposed to be studying and started surfing the web. I guess I better get back to what I am supposed to be doing now.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Waiting
Class starts in exactly 13 minutes. I finished my stats exam this morning - came in at 30 pages. I didn't get to reporting in depth on the effect sizes, but hopefully she won't count off too much for that. We didn't really cover it in class. I did talk some about the partial eta squares. Still confused about the d and g's.
Spring break is coming up soon. I am thinking about visiting Kim and Tony in Louisville. I have to see how much it costs to fly. I am not much on driving.
Happy Valentine's Day. Gene and I went to Ciro's for dinner. It was pretty good Italian food. I think the old little Italian guy who owns the place and plays the accordian makes the joint.
Sometimes I get discouraged. It doesn't always seem to pay when you try to be the bigger person in a situation. Sometimes people just listen to the loudest person. It is tempting to start screaming like everyone else, but you know deep down it isn't the right thing to do.
Ten minutes.
I find that I don't have much time to do some of the things I want to do. It is hard when you are sitting in front of a computer all the time. I am sitting sometimes thinking "okay, I have to get this done," but then I end up checking my e-mail to respond to the latest urgent message or opening up Dreamweaver to update a web page or something. Then I realize the diversion and say "okay, I have to stop doing these things until later." It is inevitable to get side tracked. Connectivity is addictive.
Anyway, my prof opened the door to the classroom, so I am going to sit in front of another random computer in that room now.
Later,
Pam
Spring break is coming up soon. I am thinking about visiting Kim and Tony in Louisville. I have to see how much it costs to fly. I am not much on driving.
Happy Valentine's Day. Gene and I went to Ciro's for dinner. It was pretty good Italian food. I think the old little Italian guy who owns the place and plays the accordian makes the joint.
Sometimes I get discouraged. It doesn't always seem to pay when you try to be the bigger person in a situation. Sometimes people just listen to the loudest person. It is tempting to start screaming like everyone else, but you know deep down it isn't the right thing to do.
Ten minutes.
I find that I don't have much time to do some of the things I want to do. It is hard when you are sitting in front of a computer all the time. I am sitting sometimes thinking "okay, I have to get this done," but then I end up checking my e-mail to respond to the latest urgent message or opening up Dreamweaver to update a web page or something. Then I realize the diversion and say "okay, I have to stop doing these things until later." It is inevitable to get side tracked. Connectivity is addictive.
Anyway, my prof opened the door to the classroom, so I am going to sit in front of another random computer in that room now.
Later,
Pam
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Glad You Care
I usually do err on the side of sharing too much, I have been told. :-)
Anyone have any good research questions concerning web services?
Poor Gene is downstairs sneezing his head off because of the cats. Kim, on eBay those air filters ship for about $30. I can send you the money for shipping.
I am going to Raleigh next Saturday to hang out. Anything fun to do in Raleigh?
Pam!
Anyone have any good research questions concerning web services?
Poor Gene is downstairs sneezing his head off because of the cats. Kim, on eBay those air filters ship for about $30. I can send you the money for shipping.
I am going to Raleigh next Saturday to hang out. Anything fun to do in Raleigh?
Pam!
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Which is it?
I know I haven't blogged much lately. I have been busy. And, I am not sure if I have too much to say or nothing to say here. Hmmm.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Oatmeal for Dinner
The weather was pretty dreary today; I just woke up from a nap. I haven['t been writing much lately because it has all just been school, work, and relationship. And, I don't feel right writing too much about what has been going on between Gene and I. I know we love each other, but boy, are we two very different individuals.
Anyhow, the spring semester is in full swing. Here is my schedule:
M,T: work 9 AM - 5 PM
W: class 10 AM - 3:30 PM
R: class 6:30 PM - 9:30 PM
F: work 9 AM - 1 PM, class 3 PM - 4:30 PM
Anyhow, the spring semester is in full swing. Here is my schedule:
M,T: work 9 AM - 5 PM
W: class 10 AM - 3:30 PM
R: class 6:30 PM - 9:30 PM
F: work 9 AM - 1 PM, class 3 PM - 4:30 PM
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Gumshoe
Okay, I found my bag. However, I can't find it in brown. Argh!!!! I bought it for $12.99, and they are selling for $40-$70 on-line. Sheesh. I should have bought a case.
the Hobo International Micro-Durafiber Collection
Hobo International GadAbout Bag
the Hobo International Micro-Durafiber Collection
Hobo International GadAbout Bag
I Don't Like Stress
It keeps me awake, makes my face break out, hurts my tummy, tenses up my shoulders, and does all kinds of un-fun stuff to me. :-(
Ra is purring on my lap. Even though the vent is open in the office, I keep the door closed - it gets soo cold in here. I need to close the vent in the upstairs bathroom and guest bedroom to redirect some of the heat.
I need a financial advisor, preferably free.
Hey, Kim - if I send you $30 for shipping, could you just send me the air purifier? I don't know when I will be able to get up that way.
Ra is purring on my lap. Even though the vent is open in the office, I keep the door closed - it gets soo cold in here. I need to close the vent in the upstairs bathroom and guest bedroom to redirect some of the heat.
I need a financial advisor, preferably free.
Hey, Kim - if I send you $30 for shipping, could you just send me the air purifier? I don't know when I will be able to get up that way.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
My Home is My Castle
The problem about dating someone is that you can't report anything interesting on your blog. Everytime I write something, I have inevitably made my boyfriend (not necessarily just the current one) angry. Sheesh. Let's see, what can I write about?
The living room is looking awesome. All I need now is my flat panel LCD TV and to get rid of that hideous entertainment center. I will take pictures soon. I need to buy some extra rechargeable batteries so I have them for both my ccamera and my label maker.
I need to check to see if I have enough color ink to print out some pictures for my mom. Even though she is finally set up with e-mail again, I don't think digital copies will do it for her. I also have to finish writing my thank yous. Unfortunately, I will be combining my October birthday thank yous with my Christmas thank yous. I know, I know. I am pathetic.
Here are some of my New Year's Resolutions you can keep my honest about:
Watson (who will probably never read this): You treat my mom well. At first, we didn't know what to think of you, but we have decided that you really do show her you love her. I am glad you are part of our family. Gene thought you were really funny to hang out with for New Year's Eve.
I was very excited; I got to see the Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe over Christmas break. It was awesome, much better than the cheesy B movies they had out a few years back. (I always picture Ryan immitating Lucy saying "Oh, Aslan! or smiling the goofy grin like Prince Caspian . . . ) I hope they dcide to do the rest of the six books. However, I am guessing they will result in the same level of popularity as the books themeselves . . . most people I know never even knew about the rest of the Chronicles of Narnia. What they are missing!
Eh, I will post a picture just for the heck of it . . . My Mom!
The living room is looking awesome. All I need now is my flat panel LCD TV and to get rid of that hideous entertainment center. I will take pictures soon. I need to buy some extra rechargeable batteries so I have them for both my ccamera and my label maker.
I need to check to see if I have enough color ink to print out some pictures for my mom. Even though she is finally set up with e-mail again, I don't think digital copies will do it for her. I also have to finish writing my thank yous. Unfortunately, I will be combining my October birthday thank yous with my Christmas thank yous. I know, I know. I am pathetic.
Here are some of my New Year's Resolutions you can keep my honest about:
- Save $3,000 toward retirement
- Get back down to 125 pounds
- Get cholesterol under 200
- Attend church at least once a month
- Attend at least one women’s retreat or Christian-based workshop
- Donate at least 20 hours of service toward volunteer activities
- Compliment someone every day
- Apply for at least 2 scholarships
- Take lessons for a new hobby
- Get eyes examined
- Go camping in the mountains
- Take a weekend trip/fly out of town
- Have deck painted/stained
- Go to the gym at least 4 times a month
- Paint the rest of the house
Watson (who will probably never read this): You treat my mom well. At first, we didn't know what to think of you, but we have decided that you really do show her you love her. I am glad you are part of our family. Gene thought you were really funny to hang out with for New Year's Eve.
I was very excited; I got to see the Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe over Christmas break. It was awesome, much better than the cheesy B movies they had out a few years back. (I always picture Ryan immitating Lucy saying "Oh, Aslan! or smiling the goofy grin like Prince Caspian . . . ) I hope they dcide to do the rest of the six books. However, I am guessing they will result in the same level of popularity as the books themeselves . . . most people I know never even knew about the rest of the Chronicles of Narnia. What they are missing!
Eh, I will post a picture just for the heck of it . . . My Mom!
Monday, January 02, 2006
Happy New Year!
Wow, coming home was like Christmas, but everything I unwrapped, I bought myself. I had ordered some stuff before I left, so I had a lot of packages waiting for me when I got back home. I can now use the same keyboard and mouse for two computers!
I have been putting up stuff and cleaning for most of the day. I have to go back to work tomorrow. I also have a meeting on campus. However, I am very glad to be home. It was nice getting to see mom and Watson, my friends, and Gene's family. But I was starting to miss the kitties and being able to sleep in my own bed. The cats have been extremely cuddly today.
Anyhow, I hope everyone is doing well. I have been trying to keep in touch, but it has been difficult lately.
I have been putting up stuff and cleaning for most of the day. I have to go back to work tomorrow. I also have a meeting on campus. However, I am very glad to be home. It was nice getting to see mom and Watson, my friends, and Gene's family. But I was starting to miss the kitties and being able to sleep in my own bed. The cats have been extremely cuddly today.
Anyhow, I hope everyone is doing well. I have been trying to keep in touch, but it has been difficult lately.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Baking Cookies and Packing for the Holidays
Well, I haven't actually WRITTEN anything on here for quite some time. I got pretty busy with the semester. Things have been going pretty well. Gene and I are doing well. We have only been dating for about two months though. He loves the cats even though he is allergic to them. I guess he likes me too.
I bought the books Randy suggested I buy from Amazon market place. I bought them for $0.01 and $0.02, but of course, shipping was about $7. They were still cheap, so I am happy.
We are going to Florida to see family for the holidays. I should have thought about it before, but I need to see if someone will house sit the cats. I will miss my kitties!
I talked to Todd yesterday. He seems to be doing well although he might be moving to the East coast. He just bought a really nice house, but I guess you have to go where you think you will be happiest.
I got one B and the rest A's for the semester which is pretty good. I am not very happy with the B because it was in the class I worked my butt off in. It would have made more sense if it were a different class.
I worked full-time this week. I enjoy the people I work with. Even though I don't hang out with outside of work, they are a really cool group of people. Note to self - get people from work together sometime.
I have no idea what kind of clothes to pack for Florida. Lisa made fun of me when I wore my sweater and scarf for Thanksgiving. Weather.com says it will be in the 60's and 70's, so I guess I can leave most of my winter clothes at home.
Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. I have to go pack now.
Hugs,
Pam
I bought the books Randy suggested I buy from Amazon market place. I bought them for $0.01 and $0.02, but of course, shipping was about $7. They were still cheap, so I am happy.
We are going to Florida to see family for the holidays. I should have thought about it before, but I need to see if someone will house sit the cats. I will miss my kitties!
I talked to Todd yesterday. He seems to be doing well although he might be moving to the East coast. He just bought a really nice house, but I guess you have to go where you think you will be happiest.
I got one B and the rest A's for the semester which is pretty good. I am not very happy with the B because it was in the class I worked my butt off in. It would have made more sense if it were a different class.
I worked full-time this week. I enjoy the people I work with. Even though I don't hang out with outside of work, they are a really cool group of people. Note to self - get people from work together sometime.
I have no idea what kind of clothes to pack for Florida. Lisa made fun of me when I wore my sweater and scarf for Thanksgiving. Weather.com says it will be in the 60's and 70's, so I guess I can leave most of my winter clothes at home.
Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. I have to go pack now.
Hugs,
Pam
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Recapping 2005 - Some Fun Stuff
Kenny and Pam - White water rafting
Pam and Family at Charles Shultz Museum in California
Pam and Joel at the Marine ball
Pam and Tim at Halloween party
Pam, Melanie, and Steve cutting a rug at Pedro and Jamie's wedding
Pam and Gene
I am not sure who is studying - Ra or me. But we are a diligent bunch at the Karr house!
Ra (conehead) thinking he can clean himself through the cone
Scuro (a cat with a double chin)
Recapping 2005 - Pam's House in St. Pete
My house in St. Pete - BEFORE
My House in St. Pete - DURING
My House in St. Pete - AFTER
My House in St. Pete - DURING
My House in St. Pete - AFTER
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Monday, December 12, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Ice, Ice Baby
Gene couldn't get into his car this morning because his door was frozen shut. It didn't snow last night like they said it might, but there is ice everywhere this morning. I am glad I don't have to leave my house until later in the day, or else I wouldn't know what to do.
Joel, the kitties (and I) miss you. I have no one to proofread my papers. Ra opens your bedroom door every morning to see if you are home.
And, it is too cold for the cats to use the litter box in the garage. I guess I can't blame them. They have spent their whole lives in Florida. They both decided to use the front door mat instead. Must see if moving the litter box closer to the door to the garage fixes the problem. Or else the litter box will have to come in for the winter.
I have two presentations to work on today. I have two papers due Friday, and I have an exam due back (take home) next Wednesday. That's it for the semester! I have no clue what kind of grades to expect. A or B I know, but other than that, who knows. I cried when I got my first B, but I think I am over that now. I am cutting myself some slack because I have a lot on my plate. Besides publications and dissertation matter. As long as I graduate, grades really don't.
Joel, the kitties (and I) miss you. I have no one to proofread my papers. Ra opens your bedroom door every morning to see if you are home.
And, it is too cold for the cats to use the litter box in the garage. I guess I can't blame them. They have spent their whole lives in Florida. They both decided to use the front door mat instead. Must see if moving the litter box closer to the door to the garage fixes the problem. Or else the litter box will have to come in for the winter.
I have two presentations to work on today. I have two papers due Friday, and I have an exam due back (take home) next Wednesday. That's it for the semester! I have no clue what kind of grades to expect. A or B I know, but other than that, who knows. I cried when I got my first B, but I think I am over that now. I am cutting myself some slack because I have a lot on my plate. Besides publications and dissertation matter. As long as I graduate, grades really don't.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Saturday, December 03, 2005
End of the Semester Stress
I can't sleep. Argh. I don't know why I can't sleep sometimes. Maybe it is too much caffeine. Maybe I ate too late. Maybe it is too much to do. Maybe too many thoughts in my head. You tell people that you are jittery, and they want to know why. Sometimes there isn't really a reason. It is just a feeling. They get mad at you when there is no reason, and you can't just stop it. It doesn't help the situation.
Things that make me feel calm:
Sitting with the shower running. Petting cats. Typing my thoughts. Reading to me. Talking me to sleep. Back massages. Sleeping on the couch with the tv on. Writing in my journal. Organizing things. Sitting in front of my computer. Spending time with someone I care about.
Things that stress me out:
Too many deadlines at once. Thinking too much. Talking to people who are unhappy with me or ask too many questions. Being the last one to fall asleep. When the house is messy. Gaining weight. People telling me to relax. Mortality. Headaches.
Things that make me feel calm:
Sitting with the shower running. Petting cats. Typing my thoughts. Reading to me. Talking me to sleep. Back massages. Sleeping on the couch with the tv on. Writing in my journal. Organizing things. Sitting in front of my computer. Spending time with someone I care about.
Things that stress me out:
Too many deadlines at once. Thinking too much. Talking to people who are unhappy with me or ask too many questions. Being the last one to fall asleep. When the house is messy. Gaining weight. People telling me to relax. Mortality. Headaches.
Friday, December 02, 2005
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
For All The Year-Long Monogamous
They have come up with an answer! I saw a news article on Yahoo today called
Molecule gives passionate lovers just one year.
It explains everything!Monday, November 28, 2005
Back Home with the Kitties
Gene and I got back from Tampa this morning. I was supposed to write my proposal all day today, but thank God, my teacher cancelled class. We have an extra week to work on our paper.
Thanks to Muhammed for watching the kitties.
Thanks to Dave for picking me up from the airport and driving me to Gainesville.
The wedding was awesome. I also got to see Bonnie and JR and went to my old church. It was great to see all of my friends.
I rock at Scattegories. Gene - not so good. ;-)
Thanks to Muhammed for watching the kitties.
Thanks to Dave for picking me up from the airport and driving me to Gainesville.
The wedding was awesome. I also got to see Bonnie and JR and went to my old church. It was great to see all of my friends.
I rock at Scattegories. Gene - not so good. ;-)
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Yo Quiero Taco Bell
Darn it. I wanted a steak chalupa, and I got a beef gordita. Sigh.
Joel left today. I think he saw it more as a permanent, final, and grim thing. I saw it as, well, I will see you Wednesday. I am fustrated. I love the boy. I would do anything humanly possible to make him happy except the one thing he wants. I understand how he feels, but it doesn't give me any way to fix it. I hope he is doing all right. I know he will be fine. I will eventually talk to him when he is ready, but I fear talking to him right now would just excerbate the problem.
Kim and Tony visited this weekend. I liked having them in my house. I like having company. I actually found some better things to do with them than when Auntie Dora and Doug were here. I will see them on Friday for Pedro and Jamie's wedding.
I have two cats sitting in a chair and a half with me. I have a boy snoring on the couch. I have candles burning and a failed attempt at a fire in the fireplace.
I talked to Muhammed today. It was good to hear from him. We are both so busy right now. I am not assuming we are growing a part. I am just assuming we are busy. When we are less busy, we will see each other. That is what good friends are all about.
I tried to convince Dave to move to Charlotte. Poor Gene. He doesn't know what to think with me and all my guys. He is being good about it though.
I am debating on if I am going to finish up my research proposal work that needs to be done. I am really dreading it. I think the reason is because it was so hard to get it to the point it is now, and I got a little burnt out on it.
Maybe if I find those breathe right strips that someone (was it Kenny?) got me, then he will be quieter.
So what happened to Todd? I hope he is doing well. I fell for that boy hard. I got really hurt when things weren't what I thought they were. However, I just put everything into perspective by thinking a half second about Sean, and it doesn't seem as much of a big deal anymore. I had a dream the other night that I got a piece of mail for Sean by accident. It was addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Brazas and 1/2. Somehow in the dream I interpreted that to mean he was married with a kid. Crap, it has been over a year. How can you effectively just pretend a person never existed?
I think I will just go to bed and wake up early in the morning. Usually, that just means that I am going to bed and will decide it isn't worth waking up early when the morning comes.
The semester is officially over December 12th.
Joel left today. I think he saw it more as a permanent, final, and grim thing. I saw it as, well, I will see you Wednesday. I am fustrated. I love the boy. I would do anything humanly possible to make him happy except the one thing he wants. I understand how he feels, but it doesn't give me any way to fix it. I hope he is doing all right. I know he will be fine. I will eventually talk to him when he is ready, but I fear talking to him right now would just excerbate the problem.
Kim and Tony visited this weekend. I liked having them in my house. I like having company. I actually found some better things to do with them than when Auntie Dora and Doug were here. I will see them on Friday for Pedro and Jamie's wedding.
I have two cats sitting in a chair and a half with me. I have a boy snoring on the couch. I have candles burning and a failed attempt at a fire in the fireplace.
I talked to Muhammed today. It was good to hear from him. We are both so busy right now. I am not assuming we are growing a part. I am just assuming we are busy. When we are less busy, we will see each other. That is what good friends are all about.
I tried to convince Dave to move to Charlotte. Poor Gene. He doesn't know what to think with me and all my guys. He is being good about it though.
I am debating on if I am going to finish up my research proposal work that needs to be done. I am really dreading it. I think the reason is because it was so hard to get it to the point it is now, and I got a little burnt out on it.
Maybe if I find those breathe right strips that someone (was it Kenny?) got me, then he will be quieter.
So what happened to Todd? I hope he is doing well. I fell for that boy hard. I got really hurt when things weren't what I thought they were. However, I just put everything into perspective by thinking a half second about Sean, and it doesn't seem as much of a big deal anymore. I had a dream the other night that I got a piece of mail for Sean by accident. It was addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Brazas and 1/2. Somehow in the dream I interpreted that to mean he was married with a kid. Crap, it has been over a year. How can you effectively just pretend a person never existed?
I think I will just go to bed and wake up early in the morning. Usually, that just means that I am going to bed and will decide it isn't worth waking up early when the morning comes.
The semester is officially over December 12th.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Sitting by the Fire
It was freezing this morning! We have had a fire going all day. I am excited because Kim and Tony are going to be here tomorrow. I have to find someone to watch the cats over Thanksgiving. Pedro and Jamie are getting married soon! A lot has been going on. The semester is winding down so I have to start buckling down and get some papers written. Argh!
Joel is thinking about going to USF in the Spring. I hate to see him go, but it might be the best decision for him right now. It is sad how the general workforce doesn't see 4 years of the Marines as much work experience. He also has a problem with me dating - so sometimes when I get happier, he gets sadder. It makes the situation tough sometimes.
I haven't been writing much lately. I think I have been enjoying spending time with people instead of in front of my computer. I tend to find myself here for work and school way too often.
I am ready for this semester to be over!
Joel is thinking about going to USF in the Spring. I hate to see him go, but it might be the best decision for him right now. It is sad how the general workforce doesn't see 4 years of the Marines as much work experience. He also has a problem with me dating - so sometimes when I get happier, he gets sadder. It makes the situation tough sometimes.
I haven't been writing much lately. I think I have been enjoying spending time with people instead of in front of my computer. I tend to find myself here for work and school way too often.
I am ready for this semester to be over!
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Friday, November 11, 2005
I am Sick :-(
I have green stuff in my throat, my tummy hurts, and my head is foggy. I need cuddling.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Glob
No, I have not abandoned my blog. I went to Fredricksburg, VA to see Ann and Jeanne this weekend. Joel went with me so he could do some siteseeing in DC. We had lots of fun, and it is always good seeing them.
I just finished writing a paper which is due tomorrow, so I am excited that I am going to be able to actually get to sleep at a decent hour tonight. Mondays and Tuesdays are definitely my rough days in the week. Tuesday won't be so bad because class was cancelled. My professor's mom is ill so he is flying to see her. I hope everything goes all right. He seemed somber in class, but he was keeping everything together really well. That is very much unlike me. I would call myself genuine. I am not professional. When I am being nice, I am really being nice. When I am working hard, I am really working hard. When I am upset, I am really upset. I have a high level of transparency. I don't really leave people guessing. I am sure that causes me a lot of problems, but it is part of who I am. I don't think there is a right or a wrong about it.
I am thirsty.
Next weekend I am going to the Marine Ball with Joel. The weekend after that, Kim and Tony will be visiting. And the week after that, I will be in Florida for Thanksgiving and Pedro & Jamie's wedding. I need to buckle down this week and write the end-of-the-semester papers so I won't have to spend all my vacation time with a laptop in front of me.
Hugs,
Pam
I just finished writing a paper which is due tomorrow, so I am excited that I am going to be able to actually get to sleep at a decent hour tonight. Mondays and Tuesdays are definitely my rough days in the week. Tuesday won't be so bad because class was cancelled. My professor's mom is ill so he is flying to see her. I hope everything goes all right. He seemed somber in class, but he was keeping everything together really well. That is very much unlike me. I would call myself genuine. I am not professional. When I am being nice, I am really being nice. When I am working hard, I am really working hard. When I am upset, I am really upset. I have a high level of transparency. I don't really leave people guessing. I am sure that causes me a lot of problems, but it is part of who I am. I don't think there is a right or a wrong about it.
I am thirsty.
Next weekend I am going to the Marine Ball with Joel. The weekend after that, Kim and Tony will be visiting. And the week after that, I will be in Florida for Thanksgiving and Pedro & Jamie's wedding. I need to buckle down this week and write the end-of-the-semester papers so I won't have to spend all my vacation time with a laptop in front of me.
Hugs,
Pam
Friday, November 04, 2005
Monday, October 31, 2005
Sleepy Pam
I can't think too much right now. Brian - whoops, brain fried. Must work in the morning. So do I get to sleep an extra hour or do I have to wake up an extra hour earlier? I am so confused.
I hope trick-or-treaters come tomorrow. I didn't see any this weekend, and I have a cake dish and a turkey roaster full of candy.
Hugs,
Pam
I hope trick-or-treaters come tomorrow. I didn't see any this weekend, and I have a cake dish and a turkey roaster full of candy.
Hugs,
Pam
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Dear God
Thank you for my friends. Thank you for reminding me that life is good. Thank you for the ability to laugh, love, and take care of one another. Please forgive me for forgetting to be thankful and forgetting to thank you more often. Life is hard, but I guess it wouldn't be so worthwhile if it weren't. I don't really understand any of it, but I know that You do. Thank you for making me realize when I am feeling sorry for myself that there are people who are worse off and I have the ability to make a difference in their lives. Please give me the strength to be able to do so. This is truly a crazy, beautiful world. Sometimes the ugliness blurs things, but it has to exist so that the beauty can resurface and we see it for what it is. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one who doesn't know what the heck they are doing. Now that completely freaks me out. Then I realize through just a glimpse in someone else's eyes that they feel that way too. Maybe they are just better at hiding it than I am. In any event, it makes us all the same. I think, deep down, we are all searching for You.
My heart is racng tonight and making it hard to sleep. Might be from diet Pepsi at two in the morning, or it might be from all the thoughts racing around in my head. Regardless, it is a perfect time to spend some time alone with You. There are so many people who need You. I know I tend to focus on my own needs because I know first hand what they are, but I see small parts of what other people need. It is funny how the desires of people's hearts can be seen with small interactions. I ask that You take those most deperate needs in all of us, and fill them. A major task, but nothing You are incapable of. If I ask much of You, it is because I know You are truly the only one who is capable . . . Please, take care of them all. Please, impress upon us to take care of each other.
How do I seek You?? It is something I want to do, but I am not sure how it is done. I have always been strong on determination. That more than anything has gotten me where I am. I know how to get most things myself, but I don't know how to find You. Where are you? How can I find You while I am here? You ask me to dimiss my own agenda to follow yours, but how do I do that when I am not quite sure what it is?
So many questions? I know sometimes I sound beligerent. It is my fustration because I know I am not doing good enough. It is hard for me to accept that I can't be good enough for You. Why should You love me then? Your grace. It doesn't make sense. I don't understand unconditional love. I have tried to love others that way, but truthfully, sometimes, it just hurts too much. So how do You do it?
God, I pray for You. I know You are omnipotent and everything, but geez, you must get lonely sometimes. Even if you are surrounded by angels and those who have already come to join You, it must be lonely being You. No one understands You. There is no one to take care of You. It must be reall hard. Is that part of the reason You created us? It doesn't make sense that we are all just some huge science project.
I want You to hold me. You saved us once, but we really need saving every day.
Through Jesus,
Amen . . . Let it be.
My heart is racng tonight and making it hard to sleep. Might be from diet Pepsi at two in the morning, or it might be from all the thoughts racing around in my head. Regardless, it is a perfect time to spend some time alone with You. There are so many people who need You. I know I tend to focus on my own needs because I know first hand what they are, but I see small parts of what other people need. It is funny how the desires of people's hearts can be seen with small interactions. I ask that You take those most deperate needs in all of us, and fill them. A major task, but nothing You are incapable of. If I ask much of You, it is because I know You are truly the only one who is capable . . . Please, take care of them all. Please, impress upon us to take care of each other.
How do I seek You?? It is something I want to do, but I am not sure how it is done. I have always been strong on determination. That more than anything has gotten me where I am. I know how to get most things myself, but I don't know how to find You. Where are you? How can I find You while I am here? You ask me to dimiss my own agenda to follow yours, but how do I do that when I am not quite sure what it is?
So many questions? I know sometimes I sound beligerent. It is my fustration because I know I am not doing good enough. It is hard for me to accept that I can't be good enough for You. Why should You love me then? Your grace. It doesn't make sense. I don't understand unconditional love. I have tried to love others that way, but truthfully, sometimes, it just hurts too much. So how do You do it?
God, I pray for You. I know You are omnipotent and everything, but geez, you must get lonely sometimes. Even if you are surrounded by angels and those who have already come to join You, it must be lonely being You. No one understands You. There is no one to take care of You. It must be reall hard. Is that part of the reason You created us? It doesn't make sense that we are all just some huge science project.
I want You to hold me. You saved us once, but we really need saving every day.
Through Jesus,
Amen . . . Let it be.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Long Day
I have been crazy busy lately. I bought two Halloween costumes today. I bought a Vampirette costume and a foilage fairy costume (which looks better on Joel than me - don't ask).
Gene and I were supposed to go see a movie tonight, but he had to work late. What a punk! (Joking)
I am sleepy!! Nothing profound going on in my head tonight. I need to get some fangs.
Everyone is breaking up it seems like. Maybe something is in the air. I guess I should be lucky that I don't have a boyfriend because I would have to worry about breaking up. Boy, does that cause emotional distress! My prayers are with those who are going through it right now . . .
On a more positive note, Ra's butt is beginning to look more orange again.
Hugs,
Pam
Gene and I were supposed to go see a movie tonight, but he had to work late. What a punk! (Joking)
I am sleepy!! Nothing profound going on in my head tonight. I need to get some fangs.
Everyone is breaking up it seems like. Maybe something is in the air. I guess I should be lucky that I don't have a boyfriend because I would have to worry about breaking up. Boy, does that cause emotional distress! My prayers are with those who are going through it right now . . .
On a more positive note, Ra's butt is beginning to look more orange again.
Hugs,
Pam
Monday, October 24, 2005
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Proposal
I am sitting down to rewrite my proposal. I have been busy the past few days. Last night, Gene and I went to the Cheescake Factory and to the Comedy Zone. They were having a celebrity show with some people from Living Single. It was a good show. Today I had a picnic with the BISOM PhD students and faculty. I just got back. Tomorrow I am going to church then to the Renaissance Festival with some friends.
Hey, Rob. I tried to figure out more about you. From what I can find, you are either:
a) The child of Lynn and Robert
b) A big fan of The Cure, The Sisters of Mercy, The Primitives, Stereolab
c) About 30 years old
d) An employee of the national weather service
e) A Broncos fan
f) Take growth hormones
g) Into Dance Party
h) Into BMX bikes
i) Initialed RSW or REW
j) A swinger
Anywhere close? I found other info, but I didn't think it would be appropriate to post things like last names, addresses, and phone numbers. I mean, there ARE crazy Internet stalkers out there. :-)
Talk to you guys later,
Pam
Hey, Rob. I tried to figure out more about you. From what I can find, you are either:
a) The child of Lynn and Robert
b) A big fan of The Cure, The Sisters of Mercy, The Primitives, Stereolab
c) About 30 years old
d) An employee of the national weather service
e) A Broncos fan
f) Take growth hormones
g) Into Dance Party
h) Into BMX bikes
i) Initialed RSW or REW
j) A swinger
Anywhere close? I found other info, but I didn't think it would be appropriate to post things like last names, addresses, and phone numbers. I mean, there ARE crazy Internet stalkers out there. :-)
Talk to you guys later,
Pam
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Beautiful NC Day
The weather was absolutely perfect today. Pearl was topless on the way home from work. Joel painted another wall today, so the house is coming along well. I had my first official PhD exam last night. It went well except I wrote so much my pen ran out of ink. I have been meeting a lot of new people. I have been working/studying quite a bit as well. I have a PhD picnic on Saturday, and I am going to go to the Renaissance Festival on Sunday. I will probably get some medeival garb for Halloween. Joel bought some when he went last weekend. I thought about borrowing his suit of armor and going as my own knight in shining armor, but then I thought that might be too pathetic. Enough for tonight. I think I am going to try to get to sleep early. Made pork chops, mac and cheese, and asparagus for dinner. I like cooking.
Joel Reynolds, Joel Lee Reynolds, CPL Joel Reynolds - He was complaining that he wasn't hitting the search engines. :-)
Joel Reynolds, Joel Lee Reynolds, CPL Joel Reynolds - He was complaining that he wasn't hitting the search engines. :-)
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Sharing
I just listened to a good Christian-based message about the differences between men and women. I thought it was a good message for both singles and married couples, so I thought I would share it. I am not trying to create controversy, so if you don't subscribe to Christian doctrines, don't listen to it if you don't want to. Click here. I zipped up the .cda files that you can burn to a CD or listen to from your computer.
Is Love Overused?
We tend to think we should reserve the "L" word just for those special occassions or people. Why? Can love really get overused? Sure, it might make sense when we are talking about inanimate objects, but when we are talking about people, how in the world can we ever love too much?
You shouldn't have to be married to someone to love them. Why not be generous with love? Love your friends, family, co-workers, acquanitances, strangers, enemies . . .
Just because you love much doesn't mean that the object of your affection becomes less special. Loving does not make you less faithful in your love. If you truly love, then you would never intentionally do anything to hurt those that you love. Love doesn't have to be romantic to be genuine. To tell someone you love them isn't capitulation.
Reserving your love reflects poorly on you . . . not the person you are withholding it from. Try telling someone you love them today for the first time. We all have people in our lives that we truly do love but have never felt it appropriate to let them know. That's just silly.
Haste to love, procrastinate to hate.
You shouldn't have to be married to someone to love them. Why not be generous with love? Love your friends, family, co-workers, acquanitances, strangers, enemies . . .
Just because you love much doesn't mean that the object of your affection becomes less special. Loving does not make you less faithful in your love. If you truly love, then you would never intentionally do anything to hurt those that you love. Love doesn't have to be romantic to be genuine. To tell someone you love them isn't capitulation.
Reserving your love reflects poorly on you . . . not the person you are withholding it from. Try telling someone you love them today for the first time. We all have people in our lives that we truly do love but have never felt it appropriate to let them know. That's just silly.
Haste to love, procrastinate to hate.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Photo Montage
Joel buying his first car!
Joel Reynolds, Joel Reynold, Joel, Reynolds
(Making sure he hits the search engines :-)
Me Looking Sleepy . . .
Todd. The last visual image of an ex is the one that sticks . . .
Kammy, my cousin's daughter. So cute!
Cone-head trying to lick himself . . .
My first fire in my fireplace!
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