Selfish

People keep telling me that I need to learn how to be selfish. I don't know how to be selfish. I know what I want, and I don't have a problem letting people know what that is - but I don't enjoy being selfish. It feels good when someone else does something for me, but I don't really get much out of doing things for myself. I have accomplished a lot in the last 26 years, but I don't really do it for myself. The things that I am proud of are more the things that I do for other people. The things that make me happy are when other people do things for me. I am a very relationship oriented person. I don't want to be selfish. I don't think the Bible says anything about being selfish. You are supposed to be humble, self-sacrificing, a servant. The description of a marriage is more like two people submitting to each other instead of taking care or themselves. Everything we do should be to glorify God, not ourselves. Who is right?

There are so many people without any depth. Sometimes I envy them because it seems to make their lives so easy. Are they really happy? I don't understand. I tend to inject meaning into everything. Probably too much sometimes. I revel in possibility. I like submerging myself in all of our beautiful imperfections. Why ignore them? They make us.

There she goes again - rambling. :-)