Yo Quiero Taco Bell

Darn it. I wanted a steak chalupa, and I got a beef gordita. Sigh.

Joel left today. I think he saw it more as a permanent, final, and grim thing. I saw it as, well, I will see you Wednesday. I am fustrated. I love the boy. I would do anything humanly possible to make him happy except the one thing he wants. I understand how he feels, but it doesn't give me any way to fix it. I hope he is doing all right. I know he will be fine. I will eventually talk to him when he is ready, but I fear talking to him right now would just excerbate the problem.

Kim and Tony visited this weekend. I liked having them in my house. I like having company. I actually found some better things to do with them than when Auntie Dora and Doug were here. I will see them on Friday for Pedro and Jamie's wedding.

I have two cats sitting in a chair and a half with me. I have a boy snoring on the couch. I have candles burning and a failed attempt at a fire in the fireplace.

I talked to Muhammed today. It was good to hear from him. We are both so busy right now. I am not assuming we are growing a part. I am just assuming we are busy. When we are less busy, we will see each other. That is what good friends are all about.

I tried to convince Dave to move to Charlotte. Poor Gene. He doesn't know what to think with me and all my guys. He is being good about it though.

I am debating on if I am going to finish up my research proposal work that needs to be done. I am really dreading it. I think the reason is because it was so hard to get it to the point it is now, and I got a little burnt out on it.

Maybe if I find those breathe right strips that someone (was it Kenny?) got me, then he will be quieter.

So what happened to Todd? I hope he is doing well. I fell for that boy hard. I got really hurt when things weren't what I thought they were. However, I just put everything into perspective by thinking a half second about Sean, and it doesn't seem as much of a big deal anymore. I had a dream the other night that I got a piece of mail for Sean by accident. It was addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Brazas and 1/2. Somehow in the dream I interpreted that to mean he was married with a kid. Crap, it has been over a year. How can you effectively just pretend a person never existed?

I think I will just go to bed and wake up early in the morning. Usually, that just means that I am going to bed and will decide it isn't worth waking up early when the morning comes.

The semester is officially over December 12th.