I finished my long Monday. After Tuesday, things should calm down again. I am going to see Todd this weekend. Hopefully I can help him get at least some of his stuff unpacked so he can feel more settled in North Carolina. I remember that I really appreciated it when Jason came over to help me unpack some of my boxes. I was feeling pretty overwhelmed. Besides, it will be nice seeing Todd. I haven't seen him since - sheesh, I don't even remember when. I think the 20-somethingth of August, so pretty much a month.
Have I mentioned recently how much dating sucks? It isn't the people that really makes it suck. I mean, it is just the process. I have gone on a bazillion first dates with decent guys. Most of them have nothing really wrong with them, but I am usually never enamored enough to go on a second date. I feel bad because the guys probably think I am a wench, but dating freaking takes effort. Then there are the people who think they really want to be in a relationship then decide that they don't once they are in one. I think we all have a little bit of this in us. Finding someone who loves us raises our self-confidence then we start to wonder if maybe we could do better. Sorry, I have decided that love should be a heuristic opposed to an optimal decision-making process. I don't have to find the best guy out there. I just want the right one - someone I love and who treats me well. I don't plan on using a guy as a trophy to say "hey, look what I got." People are too precious for that. I guess that is one of the problems with on-line dating. 1) You are probably pretty lonely since you have resorted to on-line dating 2) You finally find someone who isn't a freak 3) You are happy 4) Your confidence is inflated 5) You decide maybe you could do better 6) You easily have browsable access to an assortment of other suitors 7) You become disatisfied 8) You break up 9) Start process all over again.
I am never going to find someone who is perfect for me. Every guy I meet is going to have something that I probably deem a fatal flaw. But the misconception here is that no one ever said that a relationship was supposed to be perfect. You find the person who makes you happy and doesn't drive you stark-raving mad. Someone left a comment on my blog a while back - where is that guy? He said something about I was beautifully perfect in my imperfections. That was awesome. And I guess that is the essence of what I am getting at. You learn what the weaknesses of the other person are and love them anyway. If you can't do that, they aren't the right person for you. And if you can, then be thankful for what you have. I guess I am disillusioned because Hollywood romanticizes love so much. Now, people have unrealistic expectations. Do you know how many boyfriends I had who thought fight = break up? So, now you aren't allowed to be mad at someone, disagree, or have any weaknesses in order for someone to love you. Where is the loyalty?
No, I am not talking about Todd or Joel or Muhammed or whoever. I am just on a generalized soap box because this is my blog and I can.
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4 comments:
Pam - "that guy" is right here. For Real. Still anonymous. Still reading your blog on occasion. Still very curious and intrigued by you. Very glad you remembered that post, and that it stuck with you.
"Sorry, I have decided that love should be a heuristic opposed to an optimal decision-making process. I don't have to find the best guy out there."
My discreet math prof. will disagree with you on that. Infact one of our homework assignment was based on that theme.
Now I am intrigued. Hmmm. Who could you be . . . ?
Pei-Jen, only you would argue with that statement instead of just wonder what the heck I was thinking. Joel said that I sprained his brain on that sentence. :-)
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