I Need a Waterfall

My mind isn't focusing very well on what I need to be doing. I am not looking forward to the impending week, especially my long Monday and Tuesday.

Sometimes it would be easier if I didn't care so much about things. I want so many things to be good that just aren't going to be. I want to help people and fix things. My soul is too gentle. I have never been good at dealing with the harshness in this world. It is a weird thing. I think that I am a very strong person, but some things just crush me that don't affect other people. People often see me as agressive and self-confident. I think my strength comes with my unending appreciation for the good things in this world and the need to make things better. I'll never acclaim that I have ever been tough. In a lot of ways my strength comes from surviving in this world without being tough. I cling to a sense of idealism and hope that I don't want to give up. I refuse to have a broken spirit although it seems like I get pretty close sometimes. I believe in people. I know that humans aren't perfect, but God put us here together to take care of one another. It wouldn't make any sense if He were the only one who we could count on while He isn't here on Earth. What makes people unreliable is that we expect them to be and allow ourselves to be. It doesn't have to be that way. We don't have to settle on an existence of expecting other people to disappoint us. The hard part is that it has to start with me. I have to prove to people that I can be trusted. I have to be someone who doesn't let people down. I have to take the chance that I can completely open myself up and get hurt. No one else is going to do it first. Changing the world starts with me. There is no such thing as give-and-take. I just have to give without expecting anything back because that is the right thing for me to do. I need to do what I should do regardless of what anybody else does. I have to choose that for myself since I can't choose it for anybody else. I can change the world. I believe the only way for people to break out of this cycle of hurting one another and protecting themselves is for someone to just stop. Then someone else will be able to stop. And eventually, the world won't have to be such a harsh, cold place. It can be done.