Your Tour Guide, Pam

We went to Concord Mills, Charlotte Museum of History (and a walking tour of the Alexander house), to the Camden Art Festival, and out to eat today. The four of us (Auntie Dora, Doug, Joel, and myself) piled into my car. I actually was the driver today.

Charlotte doesn't have as much to do as there was stuff to do in Tampa Bay. I will have to try to plan some fun stuff. I want to take a trip to the mountains soon. Cuddling up in a tent can be very . . . romantic. Of course, Todd would need to get back in town first. Probably not a good idea to cuddle up with someone else.

As most people know, Joel is my best friend, but he would also like to be more. I love him, but I never felt that way about him. Now, it would be even harder to feel that way about him because of his friendship. I don't know what I would do if we weren't friends anymore. I have a feeling that he won't stay here very long even though he is welcomed here. Of course, he will read this so it isn't something I am hiding from him. I worry because I want him to be happy. He is very sweet and attentive to me. Sometimes I feel bad because I don't do sweet things for him because I don't want him to misinterprete my actions. I let him know how grateful I am for everything he does, but sometimes I don't feel like it is enough in return.

I thought about Jason some today. We were so completely different, but we did have some good times together. I just want to call him and make up . . . not date, but just have him not hate me. However, I know that I need to just leave things alone. I think me contacting him would be disruptive to how he dealt with the whole thing.

Last I knew, Todd and I were still seeing each other. He called from the Ukraine, and we talked a bit yesterday. However, I am not assuming anything right now. He seems like a pretty good guy, but I really don't know him that well. I don't know who was in his life before me. I don't know his friends. I don't even know his dogs! I would like to get to know a lot more about him. However, I am hestitant because of the whole getting hurt/disappointed. My assessment so far: I think we would make a snyergistic couple. He is smart and competent. He is probably the first guy I have dated who is actually more well off than I am. (Yet 9 years older!) He wants kids. He likes to travel. He is pretty normal. Although he can be snooty, he can also be down-to-earth. He does tend to play a little macho. He doesn't like to show his weaknesses. He is very independent - both of his parents have passed away. He is self-conscious about his looks, but he is handsome. He is very confident about his intellect though. I like him.

I could be completely off with my opinions about people, but I do enjoy analyzing people. I analyze myself all the time!

I talked to my ex Jim he other day. He actually called me this time. He is seeing an Asian woman (big surprise) but doesn't seem to be very into her. I think he is a good guy, but he doesn't know how to make himself happy. He does know how to work all the time. He is very cute and smart so once he is ready to settle down (which I think might not happen), he won't have a hard time finding a girl to settle down with. I was really mad at him for being a punk for a while, but then everything Sean did completely over-shadowed what happened with Jim, so I wasn't mad at him anymore. We chat occassionally. He still calls me "cute girl" which I like.

I talked to my friend Ann on the phone a few days ago. She had her 30th birthday a week or so ago. She moved to Las Vegas to be with her boyfriend. I think she is happy, but I don't know how everything is going to turn out with that. I am glad she has family out there because moving across the country like that is a big sacrifice. I miss her a lot. I want to go visit her in Las Vegas, but I need to make sure everything is going smoothly this semester before planning any big trips.

I heard from my friend Felicia the other day. She has as good of luck with men as I do. She is going to be graduating soon. Maybe once she graduates, she can come visit. I always had fun going out dancing with her.

As you can tell, I am thinking a lot about people right now. They are important to me. I think about the people affected by the hurricane in New Orleans. I know they must really be going through hell. I know that I was this time last year. We think we are so great and powerful (humans) but our lives can be turned upside down in less than a day.

Pei-Jen is looking for a new job. He is thinking about coming to Charlotte since he has another friend here too. It would be neat for him to be out here. I haven't hung out with him since high school. I saw him once when I went to a conference at Carnegi-Melon, but it was just for a day or so.

Well, my guests are watching news coverage on the devastation in New Orleans. Luckily the reception isn't that bad today since I don't have cable. We were going to see Menopause the Musical, but I think we are just going to stay in tonight. They have to get on a plain fairly early in the morning.

So what is the news with you?