Just Me

I have officially completed the painting of my bedroom. It looks really good. I have to put some finishing touches, then I plan to post some pictures. I have to work on the UNCC project I am part of a little later on today. I don't feel like doing it right now.

I am sad what happened between Jason and I. I think he is a great guy. I just think he doesn't know what to do with me sometimes. We are extremely different which is good sometimes and bad others. I swear he thinks I am crazy. It is amazing how out of proportion things can get when you care about someone. It doesn't make any sense.

It is also amazing how different each relationship is. You never have the same problems twice. I mean, that would make it easier because you could have learned something from the last one. But, no, you encounter completely different issues that you, again, how no idea how to overcome.

I have decided to pretend Sean doesn't exist. I mean, my Sean doesn't exist at least. I guess I am glad that Jason isn't pretending to be someone he is not. I think that is what screwed me up the most was trusting in something and having it all taken away without warning . . .

I don't feel any harsh feelings toward him (Jason not Sean). I know that he probably does toward me. If he doesn't, he will call one day. If so, I would rather him not call until he gets over those feelings. We are both good people. We both could have done much worse.

Anyway, I don't want to focus on that too much. I am getting hungry, but I am back on my regular diet of eating a big lunch and hardly anything for dinner. My size 2 pants were a little too snug today.

I found the UNCC gym class schedule on-line today. I am excited about that. I need to try out some of their classes. Maybe I can get Kassie to come with me. I'm such a chicken. :-)

This is my daily e-mail Bible verse:

The Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.
--Luke 19:10

Lost. I can agree that without God, we are pretty much lost. Living is hard to do. Being happy is even harder. Doing the right thing is usually the hardest thing to do. It seems like life is full of dichotomies - you ahve to lose your life to save it. You have to experience hate to know true love . . .etc. So confusing. I don't think I can and don't plan to try to figure it all out. Someone else has to be in charge because it is definitely not me.

Anyhow, I might watch a little television (no cable, baby!) and vege before tackling the work I need to get done.