Juxtaposed

Our greatest strengths are often our biggest weaknesses. So when we are presented with the task of change, we often find ourselves torn because we don't want to erode the good parts of what makes us - us. But are the good and the bad irrevocably bound?

For instance, one of my best qualities is how I care so incredibly much, well, about everything. However, this tends to bring out my insecurities and make me extra vulnerable to getting hurt. There are times where I have desperately tried to not build walls and not get crushed at the same time . . . but in that case, you are assuming blind trust in those you are hoping won't crush you. You try your best to continue to love, continue to forgive, continue to try . . . because you don't want the reason things don't work out to be because of the walls you have built around yourself. On the other hand, when you leave yourself wide open, people can take advantage of you or even just disappoint you through the natural progression of life. So should you try to use apathy as your defense? And by doing so, would I lose one of the best parts of me? I don't believe there is a way to truly love half-way. Obviously an amount of trust needs to be built, but if in the end, you have two guarded hearts, so much is taken out of the equation that makes it less worthy. I mean, that is why they call it "falling" in love. You have to take the risk; you have to fall.

Ah, yes. Late night ramblings. I have to get some sleep now.