Where the Heck Did My Toe Ring Go?

I didn't think I wouldn't notice a toe ring coming off my foot, but evidently, I didn't. It is gone! It was such a good toe ring. Let's take a minute to mourn its loss . . .

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Anyway, I went to the Melting Pot with Bryan tonight (not Jess's ex-Bryan, a different one). It was enjoyable. I didn't really want to go to the Melting Pot ON my birthday because of bad memories from last year, but I had a good time. It was a different environment so it didn't have quite the same effect. I don't think I am ever going to go to the Melting Pot on 4th Street ever again.

I appreciate people who appreciate others. Of course, part of the reason is because I like when I am appreciated. However, it isn't just that. There is something about a person who can identify something good about someone else and not be afraid to bring it to their attention. I think so many times, we feel vulnerable if we let people know we like something about them. It is almost like complimenting someone else gives them an upperhand or something. It is just refreshing when you see someone who tries to find the beauty in others instead of their faults. In somes ways, that shows a level of self-confidence.

I see myself withholding compliments sometimes because of my own insecurities. I try not to do it. One of the things I think is best about me is that I am genuine. Most of the time, if I feel a certain way, I let people know. In fact, I have a hard time not sharing how I feel about things even if it would be advantageous to me. Sometimes I know that I could manipulate someone if I played it cool or refrained from saying certain things or doing certain things. It is tempting because I get tired of getting hurt. However, in the end, I just tend to be me. I figure if they really care, then they will find the merit in that. If I care about someone, I tell them. It might be defeating the excitement of the chase, but who wants a relationship that they can only keep if they keep running away from it?

Sorry, I am getting all philosophical today. It is interesting how much significance an event has in your life depends on the events before and after that event. I really cared about Jason when we were together, but I am okay that we aren't. I don't even think about that much anymore. If anything, I still am challenged to keep Sean out of my head. That was a major event in my life. It is a marker in which all other events in my life will be compared. It makes bad things not feel so bad because in comparison the pain is a pale and insignificant comparison.

Just in case you are wondering, I am not mentioning Todd not because he is insignificant. I don't think my thoughts are well enough formulated to write anything worthwhile regarding that topic.

I miss the time Ryan and I went to the Smoky Mountains for our one year anniversary (or was it two years?). It was the first time I ever went camping or really even on a vacation. We were young and in love. And that is the first time I discovered waterfalls!

I really hope things are working out with him and the girl he said he met. I talked to Tom the other day, and he seemed pretty upset about his current situation. I need to give him a call. I didn't really have time to talk to him for very long when I called the other day.

I talked to my sister Kim on the phone today. I really feel for her because she is still on crazy pain medicine for her back. I know how badly it sucked when I hurt my back, and I know her having to go through this for months must be pretty hard. Well maybe, the drugs can contribute to her writing, and she can join the ranks of Hemingway, Coleridge, and Poe.

One minute until my birthday. Good night.