It is amazing how you look back on parts of your life and all you can say is "what the heck was I thinking?" Perspective changes everything . . . You find what you want in people instead of who they really are. And all you can do is thank God that you can see people for who they really are . . . with time . . . with lots and lots of time.
I should be creating my lecture for class this Friday, but instead I have been browsing myspace. I can honestly say that I still keep in touch with all the people who matter the most in my life. There aren't that many people I need to "look up" because I have most of their numbers in my phone. On the other hand, I use those numbers way too infrequently. Hehe, I just got Kim to sign up for myspace. It is scary really.
Does anyone remember the episode of Perfect Strangers where Balky is trying to help Larry with stress management, and he keeps trying to get him to chant, "I am a Halloween . . . I am a Halloween?" The actually phrase was supposed to be "I am a hollow reed, stress blows through me like the wind." Sorry, just came to my mind.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Argh
My boyfriend is sick, and I am stressed. I might not get to see Mark for almost a whole month. I saw him last on the 20th, and I am not flying to see him again until the 18th. :(
I had pizza hut for lunch, and it will probably also be my dinner. Maybe I will take a walk tonight. Maybe that will cheer me up.
I had pizza hut for lunch, and it will probably also be my dinner. Maybe I will take a walk tonight. Maybe that will cheer me up.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Yahoo!
This is my Yahoo! avatar. Does it look a little bit like me? I think I am going to try to go to bed soon. I stayed up late last night to finish my stats homework. I worked and went to class today. Nothing too eventful.
It is definitely becoming winter here. I have turned all the fans so that they go clockwise. Marvin my space heater has been revived from the hall closet. Cats are more snuggly than ever.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
28 Degrees
I got back to Charlotte this morning around 6 AM, and it was 28 degrees outside! I don't know what to do with that kind of weather! My windshield was frozen over so I had to defrost it before I could leave the airport. We had a good weekend. We went to see a Joe Dee Messina concert and to Universal Studios. Other than that, I just spent some quality time with my boyfriend.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Sad
I had this long blog post all written out and firefox decided to throw a fatal exception. So instead of my aimless, lengthy ramblings, you get a short, sad post from an unrecoverable operation. :-(
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Backwards
Sometimes I think this world has it all backwards. It values wealth, fame, pride when the things that matter are charity, friendships, and humility. The world has a "take care of yourself" mentality instead of a "love your neighbor" mentality. We all hide brokenness with facades of strength and thwart actually being happy for the pretense of being happy. It is shameful to ask for help.
Ah, anyway . . .
The most beautiful thing I have ever seen is when someone gets the nerve to say that they need help, that they can't just do it all by themselves anymore. That is when they let their guard down and are truly authentic. They admit they are lost and are receptive to change. In fact, I think that is when I have been my most beautiful as well.
Someone once said that trying to do everything yourself isn't a sign of strength. It is a sign of pride. We weren't made to do everything by ourselves. We were made to take care of each other.
Ah, anyway . . .
The most beautiful thing I have ever seen is when someone gets the nerve to say that they need help, that they can't just do it all by themselves anymore. That is when they let their guard down and are truly authentic. They admit they are lost and are receptive to change. In fact, I think that is when I have been my most beautiful as well.
Someone once said that trying to do everything yourself isn't a sign of strength. It is a sign of pride. We weren't made to do everything by ourselves. We were made to take care of each other.
Whew!
Well, I think I am almost caught up for this week, and now I just have to get ready for next week. I am going to spend most of the weekend studying. I received my peer evaluation for my class today, and I think it went pretty well.
It is very cold outside tonight. I can't really say how cold since I am tucked into bed with my space heater pointing at me. However, it seems like it is cold outside.
I just had a friend notify me that someone is sending phony bulletins with my myspace account about adult club memberships. Fun. Why doesn't someone hack my blog and write something juicy for a change?
It is very cold outside tonight. I can't really say how cold since I am tucked into bed with my space heater pointing at me. However, it seems like it is cold outside.
I just had a friend notify me that someone is sending phony bulletins with my myspace account about adult club memberships. Fun. Why doesn't someone hack my blog and write something juicy for a change?
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Life
When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24
hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2
cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very
large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf
balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed
that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into
the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the
open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again
if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked
up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand
filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table
and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the
empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are
the important things--your family, your children, your health, your
friends and your favorite passions--and if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your
house and your car.
The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand
into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles
or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your
time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the
things that are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take
your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be
time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf
balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities.
The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee
represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just
goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's
always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2
cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very
large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf
balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed
that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into
the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the
open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again
if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked
up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand
filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table
and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the
empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are
the important things--your family, your children, your health, your
friends and your favorite passions--and if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your
house and your car.
The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand
into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles
or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your
time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the
things that are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take
your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be
time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf
balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities.
The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee
represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just
goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's
always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
Awesome Song Lyrics
She’s a yellow pair of running shoes
A holey pair of jeans
She’s looks great in cheap sunglasses
She looks great in anything
She’s “I want a piece of chocolate”
“Take me to a movie”
She’s “I can’t find a thing to wear”
Now and then she’s moody
She’s a Saturn with a sunroof
With her brown hair a blowin'
She’s a soft place to land
And a good feeling knowing
She’s a warm conversation that I wouldn’t miss for nothing
She’s a fighter when she’s mad and a lover when she’s loving
She’s everything that I ever wanted
And everything I need
When I talk about her I go on and on and on
Cause she is everything to me
She’s a Saturday out on the town
Church girl on Sunday
A cross around her neck and a cuss word cause it’s Monday
She’s a bubble bath and candle baby come and kiss me
She’s a one glass of wine and she’s feelin kinda tipsy
She’s the giver I wish I could be and the stealer of the covers
She’s the picture in my wallet
She’s the hand that I'm holdin when I’m on my knees and prayin
She’s the answer to my prayers
She’s the song that I’m playin and
She’s everything that I ever wanted
And everything I need
When I talk about her I go on and on and on
Cause she is everything to me
She’s the voice I love to hear
Someday when I’m 90
She's that wooden rocking chair
I want rocking right beside me
Everyday that passes I only love her more
Yea she’s the one that id lay down my own life for
She’s everything that I ever wanted
And everything I need
When I talk about her I go on and on and on
Cause she is everything to me
A holey pair of jeans
She’s looks great in cheap sunglasses
She looks great in anything
She’s “I want a piece of chocolate”
“Take me to a movie”
She’s “I can’t find a thing to wear”
Now and then she’s moody
She’s a Saturn with a sunroof
With her brown hair a blowin'
She’s a soft place to land
And a good feeling knowing
She’s a warm conversation that I wouldn’t miss for nothing
She’s a fighter when she’s mad and a lover when she’s loving
She’s everything that I ever wanted
And everything I need
When I talk about her I go on and on and on
Cause she is everything to me
She’s a Saturday out on the town
Church girl on Sunday
A cross around her neck and a cuss word cause it’s Monday
She’s a bubble bath and candle baby come and kiss me
She’s a one glass of wine and she’s feelin kinda tipsy
She’s the giver I wish I could be and the stealer of the covers
She’s the picture in my wallet
She’s the hand that I'm holdin when I’m on my knees and prayin
She’s the answer to my prayers
She’s the song that I’m playin and
She’s everything that I ever wanted
And everything I need
When I talk about her I go on and on and on
Cause she is everything to me
She’s the voice I love to hear
Someday when I’m 90
She's that wooden rocking chair
I want rocking right beside me
Everyday that passes I only love her more
Yea she’s the one that id lay down my own life for
She’s everything that I ever wanted
And everything I need
When I talk about her I go on and on and on
Cause she is everything to me
Ceiling Fans
I just had this electrician come and put in two ceiling fans for me ($240). He did a really great job and charged me $35 less than he originally quoted. So if anyone needs an electrician in Charlotte, NC:
Johnson's Electrical Service
Stan Johnson
704-458-7751
There is my plug for the day.
Ooh, I just ordered checks on-line. I got the ones that just had the Bank of America logo, so they gave them to me for free. That is awesome. I didn't know you could get completely free checks. Who needs the pretty pictures? I mean, I am just giving them away anyway.
I am getting peer reviewed in my class Friday. I warned my students. Am I allowed to do that? Oh well, we will see how it goes.
I need to get some homework done tonight. Why can't PhDing be something that is fun? Sigh.
Johnson's Electrical Service
Stan Johnson
704-458-7751
There is my plug for the day.
Ooh, I just ordered checks on-line. I got the ones that just had the Bank of America logo, so they gave them to me for free. That is awesome. I didn't know you could get completely free checks. Who needs the pretty pictures? I mean, I am just giving them away anyway.
I am getting peer reviewed in my class Friday. I warned my students. Am I allowed to do that? Oh well, we will see how it goes.
I need to get some homework done tonight. Why can't PhDing be something that is fun? Sigh.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Happy Birthday Wishes - Thanks!!
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Dear Sppppaaaammmmmm, Happy Birthday to you! -- Kim & Tony
I didn't know this (and I'm thankful we have friendster to remind us) so happy birthday! Have any plans for the evening? Better get out there and celebrate. -- Ed
I hope you're having an excellent birthday!!!
--Pietro
For some reason, I have October 6 marked on my calendar as your birthday, so I hope I'm right. So Happy Birthday, Ms. Wonderful!! --Tim
Pam, Hope all is well, guess we lucked out on the hurricanes this season, bet you don't miss that but I do miss you here;) Enjoy your day and take care --Rick
happy b day, hope you have fun, hope your having a good time with your man this weekend, my mom is in town this weekend --Phillipa
Happy birthday to the most beautiful, intelligent, and sweetest girl I know. --Pei
Also thanks for Francis, Frank, Liz, Tausha, Shannia, Lisa et al., Kris, Mace, Mrs. B, Dave, Joel, Mrs. Miller and everyone else who sent me warm birthday wishes . . .
Most of of my wonderful boyfriend Mark who took me to my favorite - The Melting Pot - and came to spend my birthday weekend with me.
I love you guys!
Pam
I didn't know this (and I'm thankful we have friendster to remind us) so happy birthday! Have any plans for the evening? Better get out there and celebrate. -- Ed
I hope you're having an excellent birthday!!!
--Pietro
For some reason, I have October 6 marked on my calendar as your birthday, so I hope I'm right. So Happy Birthday, Ms. Wonderful!! --Tim
Pam, Hope all is well, guess we lucked out on the hurricanes this season, bet you don't miss that but I do miss you here;) Enjoy your day and take care --Rick
happy b day, hope you have fun, hope your having a good time with your man this weekend, my mom is in town this weekend --Phillipa
Happy birthday to the most beautiful, intelligent, and sweetest girl I know. --Pei
Also thanks for Francis, Frank, Liz, Tausha, Shannia, Lisa et al., Kris, Mace, Mrs. B, Dave, Joel, Mrs. Miller and everyone else who sent me warm birthday wishes . . .
Most of of my wonderful boyfriend Mark who took me to my favorite - The Melting Pot - and came to spend my birthday weekend with me.
I love you guys!
Pam
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Full Circle
I have learned so much about me and about other people. It is amazing all that I have learned in the last two years. I have become more confident in myself and learned to value what I think and feel more than what others think I should think and feel.
I tried to help one of my students today. I don't know if I really did much good, but it felt good to try. It felt like I was really making a difference. It isn't the same thing as coding or making profits for a company. I love people. I don't need perfection. I just need to know that we are all somehow trying.
It is kinda funny. I think dating someone who is Jewish has made me a better Christian. I go to church more now than when I was dating a Christian guy. It makes you think more about what your beliefs really are.
I had a glass of wine tonight while talking to my mom, so I am a little red and blotchy. I don't really like drinking, but I think it is good for my heart to have a glass every now and again. So I am getting sleepy. I have to prepare my lecture for tomorrow. We are having group software presentations and then I am lecturing on Chapter 9 about e-commerce. I am all professional and stuff.
Hugs,
Pam
I tried to help one of my students today. I don't know if I really did much good, but it felt good to try. It felt like I was really making a difference. It isn't the same thing as coding or making profits for a company. I love people. I don't need perfection. I just need to know that we are all somehow trying.
It is kinda funny. I think dating someone who is Jewish has made me a better Christian. I go to church more now than when I was dating a Christian guy. It makes you think more about what your beliefs really are.
I had a glass of wine tonight while talking to my mom, so I am a little red and blotchy. I don't really like drinking, but I think it is good for my heart to have a glass every now and again. So I am getting sleepy. I have to prepare my lecture for tomorrow. We are having group software presentations and then I am lecturing on Chapter 9 about e-commerce. I am all professional and stuff.
Hugs,
Pam
Happy Birthday to Me
My birthday is tomorrow. I will be 27 years old. :-( This is the closest to 30 I have ever been, and I am depressed. Life is so short.
My friend Francis sent me a birthday card yesterday. He is such a sweet guy. We aren't that close, but he remembered my birthday. He got me a house warming present when I bought my first house. He is just a really thoughtful guy. He and I went to high school together, but we didn't really know each other that well. His brother was in the same grade as me. Then we bumped into each other while at UF when I was getting my masters, and he was getting his MBA. And then we both ended up living in St. Pete where we actually became more like friends than acquaintances. Our ritual was catching up over cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory. He has done a much better job keeping in touch with me than me with him. It is important to recognize quality people when you find them.
Anyhow, I should be writing a literature review on collaborative systems right now. Bleh. I have two classes to attend today. Tomorrow I teach and pick Mark up from the airport. I am on a "need to know basis" about this weekend, so I will report back once I find out more!
My friend Francis sent me a birthday card yesterday. He is such a sweet guy. We aren't that close, but he remembered my birthday. He got me a house warming present when I bought my first house. He is just a really thoughtful guy. He and I went to high school together, but we didn't really know each other that well. His brother was in the same grade as me. Then we bumped into each other while at UF when I was getting my masters, and he was getting his MBA. And then we both ended up living in St. Pete where we actually became more like friends than acquaintances. Our ritual was catching up over cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory. He has done a much better job keeping in touch with me than me with him. It is important to recognize quality people when you find them.
Anyhow, I should be writing a literature review on collaborative systems right now. Bleh. I have two classes to attend today. Tomorrow I teach and pick Mark up from the airport. I am on a "need to know basis" about this weekend, so I will report back once I find out more!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Time
This year flew by. It is almost my birthday, then it will soon be Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. That's crazy. The semester ends December 15th. I have lived in Charlotte for almost as long as I had in St. Petersburg. It doesn't seem like it though. I guess I had more roots in St. Pete which made me feel like I had been there longer. I had lived there briefly in high school so I knew more people for a longer period of time. I still feel like I am new to Charlotte.
I am stressed today. I have a lot of homework to do, and I am not in the mindset to do it. My roommate seems to be a pretty nice guy, so that seems to be going okay. Jim came over and checked out the plumbing at my house yesterday. I thought that was sweet. Matt is going to come over in a few hours to work on our stats homework. Tomorrow, I have class pretty much all day. I need to take a shower soon before Matt gets here. I am still in my pajamas.
I am stressed today. I have a lot of homework to do, and I am not in the mindset to do it. My roommate seems to be a pretty nice guy, so that seems to be going okay. Jim came over and checked out the plumbing at my house yesterday. I thought that was sweet. Matt is going to come over in a few hours to work on our stats homework. Tomorrow, I have class pretty much all day. I need to take a shower soon before Matt gets here. I am still in my pajamas.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Sin
God, I know we all have sinned and fall short of Heaven. Please forgive me for my sins. Please forgive me for keeping more for myself than I give to others. Please forgive me for my pride and selfishness. Please forgive me for the times I have mocked someone for being different than I thought they should be. Please forgive me for being judgmental. Please forgive me for having lust. I know sex was only meant to be within a marriage. Please forgive me for worrying instead of having complete faith in you. Please forgive me for not always being honest. I know there are times that I put myself above others when I should just humble mysef before You. Please forgive me for my doubt and disbelief. Please forgive me for the times when I have not chosen to forgive others. Please forgive me for worshipping worldly things instead of You alone. Please forgive me for hurting others and help me heal any damage that I have done. Please forgive me for any promises I have broken. Please forgive me for not taking better care of my mom. Please forgive me for getting caught up in work, school, and other responsibilities that have ever led me to neglect friends and family. Please forgive me for anger I have felt and reacted on instead of turning it over to You. Please forgive me for the times I try to play god and control the universe around me. Please forgive me for sinning against my body by not taking as good care of it as I should. Forgive me for not being like salt of the earth and standing up against evils I see in the world. Most of all, please forgive me for not being as thankful as I should be for all the things you have given me in this world, lessons you have taught, and grace you have afforded me. Without you I would be lost in all these sins. Thank you.
Through Jesus, Amen.
Through Jesus, Amen.
Monday, October 02, 2006
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