Who all is out there? Sometimes I feel so alone. Sometimes I feel like I isolate myself. I never want to be alone, but sometimes I can't deal with people.
There are some people that just make your blood pressure rise. Some of them are people you have to love, and you find yourself wondering why they have such an adverse affect on you.
I try to find reason for everything that has happened in my life. and all the people I have met. Art taught me that I didn't have to be heart broken when someone I didn't really love anyway hurts me. Tom taught me how to express my emotions. Ryan taught me self control. Jay taught me that I didn't have to sacrifice myself to love someone else. Jason taught me how bitterness and anger can ruin a person. David taught me how important it is for a guy's family to welcome you. Alex taught me that I crave love and protection. Kyle taught me how important it is to not talk in anger. Jim taught me that soemtimes you can't fix a person to reach their full potential. I haven't found any use from knowing Sean. I guess God will help me figure that out in the years to come. Jay/Jason (one guy, but different than the ones above), taught me to recognize the vulnerabilities and insecurities of others.
My closest relationships have always been with men. I have a few good female friends - Tausha, Liz, Felicia, Trang, Ann, Jessica, Kassie, Jamie, Melanie, Stephanie, Bonnie . . . My best friends are Joel, Dave, and Kenny.
I don't really have any point to all of this.
God loves me just the way I am. There are wonderfully beautiful things about me. There are other things that are signs that I am human. I am learning to realize that when other people put you down, it reflects more on their character than your own. I want to be known for who I am without having to be apologetic.
I have an impact on the lives of others just as they have an impact on mine. I have the power to hurt someone and change who they are forever. I have the power to save someone. It doesn't take much, just a few words. It is amazing how important one person in your life can be. And I can choose to be that person in someone else's life. We aren't trivial. In a sense, we are almost too powerful.
Kenny and I had ice cream and popcorn for dinner. I am such a bad hostess!
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2 comments:
REMEMBER THAT GOD LOVES YOU AND HE MADE YOU HOW YOU ARE.GOD HAS A PLAN FOR EVERYBODY BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE SOMEONE PICK OUT FOR EVERYBODY.I KNOW PEOPLE SAY GOD HAS SOMEONE FOR ME,BUT I HAVE LEARNED FROM THE BIBLE THAT THOUGH HE HAS A PLAN FOR EVERYBODY,THAT SOME MIGHT NOT INCLUDE A SPOUSE.JUST TRUST IN THE LORD AND STAY IN HIS WORD.GOD LOVES YOU
There is a vers in the Quran that says "God never puts a burden on a soul tha t it cannot bear" I think in this life we will find that our hardest obstacles will become our greatest achievements.
I have been in conflict with things that I felt were so concrete. This conflict lead to frustration and confusion on my part, but I have to thank God for it. He is showing me that I am still growing and learning. Nothing is as balck and white as we percieve it, we must constatntly adapt and learn to deal with life and all its ups and downs.
I hope you and Kenny are having fun, talk to you later.
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