"That which we obtain too lightly, we esteem too cheap."
I don't believe that self-confidence exists. I mean, if someone who has nothing going for him can be confident while someone who has everything going for them can hate themselves, it doesn't make any sense. It has no correlation to actually how good or bad someone actually is. I think we all try to find ways to justify ourselves, to prove we are better than at least someone else.
How come everything God teaches us is contrary to what this world teaches us? Instead of seeing ourselves as the worst sinner there is, we can always point fingers to say that person is worse than us? How come instead of building people up, we feel the need to tell them how they could be better? Couldn't we all be better?
I am taking a class with a bunch of teachers, and they keep saying over and over again how the research says the most effective teachers are the ones who praise their children. They are the ones who make a difference. How often do we believe in ourselves enough to praise someone else. I was raised in an environment where everyone is trying to improve you instead of just loving you. I know that I have some of that in me myself. I don't want to be like that. I know that I am not a good enough person to have someone tell me what is wrong with me without trying to point out something that is wrong with them. We all get so defensive.
But how do you turn it all around by yourself? I mean, if you are the first person to admit your faults, a lot of times the other person is just the first to agree with you. How do you just focus on the positive thing about one another? How do you get two or more people to do that at once?
I don't want to change the world. I just want to change my personal interactions with others. I am not the bigger or better person. I am just me.
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2 comments:
I think the key to true self-confidence (or whatever feeling that is) is not in being better than someone else, but in loving yourself. That's really cheesy, but I really believe it. When I can look myself in the mirror and say "you're a good person", things other people say have less weight. Praise helps, but by itself it is not sufficient. Y'know, give a man a fish and yadda, teach a man to fish and so forth. A lot of people try to feel good about themselves by proving themself (thyself? thineself?) better than someone else, and thats a short-term fix. For the long run, confidence is something internal.
Or maybe not, there's always a decent chance that I'm wrong :)
Ryan, I don't think I agree. I know you. I know you have had problems with self confidence even with a supportive family. I think, yeah, inside a vacuum, one's self-confidence is internal. But, what if we took that person and put them in a situation where they are abused and degraded everyday? And what if they were the only one who ever stuck up for themselves? Do you honestly think anyone could withstand that? I know that that is an extreme example, but I guess my point is that we are all connected. And we all need to take responsibility for how we influence the lives of others.
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