Happy Father's Day

I have kind of forgotten about this holiday since my dad died when I was seven. The message in church today made me cry. However, I am a chick so I like to cry sometimes. It talked about what we all need from a father and what kinds of fathers there are . . . absent, abusive, achievement oriented, good, etc. It also talked about how we transfer our relationship with our fathers to our relationship with God.

I am glad my father wasn't abusive. I mean, there have been abusive father figures in my life, but they weren't my dad. I think that would have screwed me up even more!

My dad was absent. He died when I was seven, but even before that he was there but not engaged in my life. He was older and probably already had Cancer when I was born. All he would do was play atari (which I still have in my garage), sit in his recliner, and watch the 49ers. He taught my sister how to throw a football.

But, I am not angry at my dad. He never hurt me; he just wasn't there. I guess that does hurt in some ways . . .when I go to a wedding and see the father-daughter dance, I always tear up.

And, I think it does affect my relationship with God. It is hard for me to feel like God is really there, protecting me, interested in me. I know He is there, but sometimes I haveto remind myself because it just doesn't make sense to me.

All in all, the message made me realize that when I am shopping for a husband, I need to remember that I am shopping for the dad for my future kids. Yeah, that sentence just scared all the commitment-phobic guys away. Run!

Regardless of how I tend to make father's day a non-event - fathers are very important. So for those of you who are dads, don't forget that there is someone who will always be looking for your love and acceptance. Reflect love, not apathy.