Pam's Back

Not back as in "back in business," but just a general update on my back. I underwent surgery for a L5-S1 back herniation on 8/3/2010 (yes, 5 days before our 2 year anniversary). It was a tough decision to make, but after a year, the second MRI looked the same as the first. I even consulted my chiropractor who believes that surgery is never the answer, and he said I should go for it.

They said that the surgery should take about 45 minutes, but mine took about 2 1/2 hours. Thank God, I have no recollection of any of it, but it did leave Mike starving and nervous in the waiting room. The doctor told us that it was an extremely large herniation that looked pretty old - as in the scar tissue had healed around the herniation where it punctured the membrane. In addition, the herniated disc had fused itself to my nerve so he had to separate the two. He told us that I am at a higher risk for reherniation since since the herniation was so large - meaning the hole in the membrane was bigger than normal. He advised me to take it easy so that scar tissue could form over the membrane.

So, I have been in bed watching TV for most of the time since surgery. Don't ask me how many Law and Order SVU or Royal Pains or House or NCIS marathons I have watched. I have also been heavily medicated with hydrocodone, muscle relaxers, and anti-inflammatories. Trips out have consisted of searching for back accessories - such as a rolling backpack for my laptop, L-shaped back pillows, comfortable shoes, and I have even broken down against my fear of needles to go to my friend Tom for acupunture.

I can't really say how well I am healing yet. The first day, my leg was really tight (my calf felt like a constant Charlie Horse). The second day I had crazy muscle spasms (which Tom's acupunture and suggestion to drink Pedialite seemed to remedy). The third day my whole back around my incision felt like a big bruise . . . that reminded me of poor Ra when I had to get his tail amputated . . . he had a huge bruise on his little stub. The fourth day through now, I don't quite remember all the details, but the bag of symptoms include nausea, blurry vision, leg pain, hives (don't ask me how that one fits in), and foot numbness. Overall, I can't complain EXCEPT I seem to have lost some muscle strength in my right calf that gives me a definitive limp and nearly prevents me from walking down stairs. It is like - pretend you are doing "toe-up" exercises to strengthen your calves. Well, I can't even get my right foot off the ground no matter how hard I could try. Left foot, no problems.

So, I was a little depressed today second guessing my decision to go through surgery. I am just frustrated with not knowing the right answers or finding or even knowing who and how they can help. Maybe I am a little vain, but walking with a limp and the thought of my right leg atrophying seems worse then constant pain in my hips and consistent sciatica. At first out of surgery, I had a positive outlook. From what he found in there, there was no way that disc was going to heal on its own over time. However, I am praying that the muscle weakness will go away as my nerve heals, but I am scared that it might not.

Part of me is kicking myself for not addressing the problem sooner. I probably herniated the disc in 2005 when I was moving to Charlotte. That is when my back first started going out. It became chronic pain after I was hospitalized with colitis in 2009. At that time, I tried physical therapy, steriod epidurals, anti-inflamatories, etc. I just got tired of all the doctors and nothing helping. Besides, Mike was seeing twice as many doctors as he was only recently diagnosed with CVID a few months ago. His condition was more serious than mine, so at $20 a pop (minimum for co-pay and not even to mention all the lab tests), I took a hiatus from seeing doctors. I don't regret that.

I swear that our health insurance company would be better off taking the risk of hiring a hit man than paying our medical bills. They have been trying any way they can to deny having to pay for Mike's treatments that cost $6,000 a month. Luckily, Mike fixed the problem when they dropped him. Now they want him to switch to a different distributor. Hopefully, that won't cause more problems.

So far, CVID is the best diagnosis we have gotten for Mike. It feels like progress that he at least has a treatment now even if it is insanely expensive. We have seen moderate results. He hasn't been getting sick as often from bacterial infections like sinus infections, etc. His myoclonic jerks have gone away along with the headaches. Thanks God. However, his lymph-nodes have been hurting him which is cause for concern because of the correlation between CVID and certain types of Cancer. He went to talk to a surgeon this week, and they are talking about doing surgery to biopsy one of his lymph-nodes. We are back and forth, "oh, maybe it is nothing," but ultimately, I think he needs to get the test done because if it is a type of Cancer early detection is very important.

Mike is stressed by work, but he can't really leave because he can't afford to lose health insurance with all this stuff going on. He has been doing a great job at work this quarter pushing deals through. He got a decent commission check, and I am proud of him. His project right now is re-doing the master bathroom. At first, it was because of a potential mold problem. Then we realized that the mold problem wasn't as bad as first anticipated (after spending $400 on air quality testing). Now, I think it is just his pet project. He has already teared out the closet walls and has kept things remarkably tidy. Yet construction has been halted with everything going on recently. It's okay, I couldn't fit most of the clothes in the closet anyway. :-)

This is going to be a busy semester for me. I am slated to defend my proposal this semester. One Godsend is that I have changed topics from the evil Geoviz to looking at how people set interpersonal boundaries within their online social networks. My advisors have looked out for me as far as funding goes, and I am also very thankful for that. I will be teaching two sections of web application development at UNCC this fall. I will have about 60 students total. I have been working on developing the curriculum and the class schedule this week. However, I have to be careful because sitting up is the worst possible thing for my back recovery right now. I have been looking at zero gravity recliners and kneeling chairs at Relax the Back, but man are they expensive! We bought a laptop pillow desk thingy which is what I am using to type this blog from bed as we speak. I have affectionately named my new bed pillow "Ellie." (aka the L-shaped pillow)

On a more positive note, we had a great trip to Alaska which was kind of our anniversary present to ourselves. At first, I was bummed because the cruise-line kind of sucked and it was foggy. But things cleared up, we saw whales, went mushing, and things looked up from there. We also joined a small group at our church and have met some new friends. Overall, I can't complain because Mike and I have many friends here in Charlotte and scattered all over the place. We aren't the most social people in the world, but we do cherish our friendships. The Fergusons next door are a really nice older couple to check in on us pretty regularly. Larry brought over some chicken casserole and peach cobbler. He also left a pair of waders by the front door which in some people's lives would seem strange. Of course, we have an explanation. We helped him go to a Buddhist monastery to get lotuses and plant them in the pond. Well, after two months, we all realized that lotuses were pretty invasive so Mike had to pull them back up and replant them in big garbage cans. Duck raising (sometimes chasing via kayak) and pond maintenance, just another normal day. :-)

Scuro, Ru, and Carrera are doing well. We have mice and ants living in the garage so Scuro's food is on the dining room table. Shoot, we never even eat at the dining room table. She is the fancy, spoiled kitty, but well-deserved. She just turned 12 years old this month. Alas, they discontinued her favorite bobble. We tried a few different replacement bobbles, but she has been impervious (is that the right word?) to our attempts.

Okay, I have started doing a William Faulkner stream of consciousness here so maybe my meds are kicking in. See what happens when I am stuck at home and made to rest? I haven't blogged in ages. Eh, blogs are out and micro-blogging is in. No wonder we are all ADD these days. I will drink my Pedialax (Pedialite + Miralax, Mmmm mmm), and probably watch some tv, listen to a relaxing hypnosis CD (but not whilst driving), get mashed by the Scuro, and drift to sleep. Good night. Sweet dreams.

Lent 21 Days before Easter

Okay, we just watched the Fast Forward for Lent (Mike laughed at me when I thought it was spelled Lint) from our church Meck. We are trying to decide what we will give up for 21 days to glory God. So, here is what we are coming up with:

1) No television except music channels (not MTV). Mike thinks it was a sign that our Logitech Harmony remote was dropped and broken by our cleaning people. The one caveat Mike wanted to add was if there was some kind of emergency happening we could watch the news. One other stipulation I will add is no TV streaming from the Internet either. That includes YouTube.

2) Pray before every meal. This is something I have always wanted to do but have been really bad at especially in public because it feels kind of embarrassing. So, since it is hard, it needs to be added to our list.

3) Table salt. Mike couldn't give up salt "as an ingredient" since he HAS to follow every recipe to the tee. So we compromised on giving up any additional added salt.

Okay, so that sounds like a start!

It's me again!

Yeah, yeah, I know I haven't blogged in a while. We have been busy! We had Christmas with Mike's Mom and Michele then headed down to Florida to see Mom, Watson, Lisa, Steve, and the kids. In January, we went to San Fransisco for a week as Mike had a business meeting/training he had to attend. We were also able to spend time with his Dad, Julie, and most of my relatives. Our New Year's Resolution is to take a vacation this year just us - we love our families, but we need some Pam and Mike time too!

Mike's job is going fairly well. They reorged last year and stressed us all out, then they reorged again this year and stressed us out some more. On the health front, we may have found out one of Mike's biggest reasons for getting sick all the time. He has low immunoglobulins which reduces his ability to fight infections. His doctor has sent out a whole bunch of tests, but thinks it is probably CVID (Common variable immunodeficiency). Not quite sure what that is all about, but evidentally it is pretty serious, and he may have to get a really expensive treatment something to do with blood or plasma replacement. At this point, we are still waiting for all the tests to come back.

I am a little over booked this semester, but the upside is that I am feeling much healthier to be able to be productive. If you've kept up, last July I was hospitalized with Ulcerative colitis and a herniated disc. My colon has been doing just fine, and my disc is doing better. My back still isn't where I want it to be, but it isn't constant agony which is a plus. So this semester, I am trying to determine my proposal topic, doing geovisual analysis to hopefully get a paper written on the gabs of data we have collected, creating a application assurance website as a research/teaching assistantship for our department chair, teaching a web authoring and scripting class at ITT-Tech, serving on the HOA Board, attempting to get more plugged-in at church, working on other "stuff," and generally trying to get back in the swing of things.

And about pets. I am still missing Ra very much and cry pretty much every time I think of him. Ru and Carrera just had their annual vet appointments and everything came back clean. Yay, no worms! Scuro is doing well even though she is approaching twelve. We switched her from Iams to Wellness Core which is on of the premium, protein rich, no grains cat foods that are supposed to be the best for cats as they are carnivores not omnivores. Oh and Twerp! He - I guess I should say she now - is the duck about town. Charlene informed me last week that Twerp has a nest of eggs. So that might mean more snapping turtle catching for us this spring.

Seems like my family is doing well. Mike's mom recently lost over 30 pounds. Mom quit smoking, and Watson is trying. Kim is getting her second book published. All the nieces and nephews are healthy and as much trouble as ever. Michele is engaged and plans to get married this year.

No babies here yet. I know we originally said we were maybe going to start "trying" this year, but we have decided that I need to get my PhD done, and we need to work on some of the pending health issues. Besides, I haven't finished reading "What to Expect Before You are Expecting."

Fun news. Mike decided me wanted a Kindle for his birthday. He got it today and is already going download happy. It's cute really. I finally got a laptop that fits me. It took three tries, so I named it Charm. He is a Sony Vaio.

Okay, and that is my update until next time. Love you guys!

Pamela

SIR PHILIP SIDNEY, Arcadia, 16th Century

PAMELA'S PRAYER

‘0 all seeing Light, and eternal Life of all things, to whom nothing is either so great that it may resist, or so small that it is contemned; look upon my misery with thine eye of mercy, and let thine infinite power vouchsafe to limit out some proportion of deliverance unto me, as to thee shall seem most convenient. Let not injury, 0 Lord, triumph over me, and let my faults by thy hand be corrected, and make not mine enemy the minister of thy justice. But yet, 0 Lord, if, in thy wisdom, this be the aptest chastisement for my inexcusable folly; if this low bondage be fittest for my over high desires; and the pride of my not enough humble heart be thus to be broken, 0 Lord, I yield unto thy will, and joyfully embrace what sorrow thou wilt have me suffer. Only thus much let me crave of thee let my craving, 0 Lord, be accepted of thee, since even that proceeds from thee let me crave (even by the noblest title which in my great affliction I may give myself, that I am thy creature; and by thy goodness, which is thyself) that thou wilt suffer some beams of thy majesty to shine into my mind, that it may still depend confidently on thee. Let calamity be the exercise, but not the over-throw of my virtue: let their power prevail, but prevail not to destruction. Let my greatness be their prey; let my pain be the sweetness of their revenge; let them (if so seem good unto thee) vex me with more and more punishment. But, 0 Lord, let never their wickedness have such a hand, but that I may carry a pure mind in a pure body.'