Time

While time is elusive, we all seem to think that others can have more or less of it than we do. Untrue. Each and every one of us have the same exact amount of time in a day. The difference is where we choose to spend it. Dr. Herbert Simon called it "the scarcity of attention." There are a multitude of things that warrant our attention, and we choose, sometimes unconsciously and unwisely, how to allocated our attention. There is no such thing as "I don't have time." Simply, you just don't think that that particular activity is as important as the ones already consuming your time.

The problems start when we waste our time by giving it to activities where we are overworked and under appreciated. Or when we let pressure from others influence how we spend our time. Time is a finite resource that cannot be bought back. Like money, you cannot regain sunk costs, guarantee return on investment, and must analyze opportunity costs. Even though less tangible than dollars, the risk is much higher for mismanagement, but the reward is much greater when invested wisely.

On another note, never trivial someone else's time by saying they must have a lot of "free time." There is no such thing as free time. Time is one of the most important things we have, and just because someone doesn't have kids, works part-time, spends a lot of time playing video games, or whatever, their time is just as valuable as yours.

What I am Most Thankful For . . .

My Husband . . .

"You owned my heart then and still today. Everyday you amaze me with your ability to plan for the future and you love for me and others. I am proud to be your husband and you should be proud to be such a wonderful wife.

I Love You!
Mike"

All I Want for Christmas . . .

1) For the doctors to be able to help treat our chronic health problems successfully.
2) For Scuro, Ru, and Carerra to be happy and healthy.
3) To find another couple in Charlotte who considers us their "best friends."
4) To have the respect of my colleagues, peers, friends, and family.
5) To positively impact the lives of others. And to know it.
6) To find more of a role for us in our church home.
7) To see my mother-in-law make more friends and enjoy fellowship with them.
8) For my mom and Watson to be healthy. For Mom to see Max as often as possible. And for her to be around to see our sons or daughters grow up.
9) For us to be prepared to be parents.
10) Encouragement and praise from mentors and superiors.
11) For Mike to have a job where he feels appreciated and has the respect to be able to make decisions that affect his career.
12) For more people to find jobs and the economy to turn up.
13) For there to be more compromise and less political divisions in our nation.
14) To be good friends with my sister-in-law.
15) For my Compassion Child Abigail to learn the skills she needs to help bring her family out of poverty.
16) For my family to heal from the abuse of the past and want to find the time to spend more time together.
17) To see our neighborhood become healthier and safer.
18) To find the perfect dissertation topic for me - where I can be successful.
19) To lose weight. About 30 pounds.
20) To find ways to appreciate Mike more and show him how much I love him.
21) For our friends to know to come to us if they need help. To have friends we can go to for help. Real help, not cup-of-sugar kind of help.
22) To get to know my father-in-law and his wife better.
23) For my relatives to know more about me and me more about them.
24) For people to give one another the benefit of the doubt and to build one another up instead of tearing one another down.
25) To have the strength to not become apathetic and bitter. The strength to always lead with love and compassion.
26) To set healthy boundaries for myself and my family so that they always come first.
27) To remember to pray for those who hold ill will toward me and to never seek revenge.
28) For Jesus to be undeniably real to me and my family.
29) To be more grateful, content, and joyful. To feel appreciated and loved.
30) For my priorities to represent God's will, not my own.

So if anyone can give me any of these things for Christmas, I would be eternally in your debt. :-)

My Ra

God, please take care of Ra

Ra

April 1, 2000 - November 22, 2009

Ra was the best little orange cat in the world. He never did anything wrong or out of spite. He loved everyone unconditionally. His purr was like an old car starting on a cold morning. He was bright orange with handsome tribal markings. His fur was like memory foam; you could leave your hand print in it. He quit his tail a few years back to boast a silly little stub that better suit his personality. He snored loudly at night. He liked to sleep in the laundry basket in the closet so combined with the snoring, he fondly became known as our "closet monster." He also liked to sleep between Daddy's feet. He was our "little head," "Buddy Buddy," and as Pedro says, our "tailless wonder." He wasn't just a cat to us. He was and will always be part of our family. He had no cadence to his walk. He just went pad-padpad-padpadpad-padpad-pad in a kind of lopey fashion. His head was always too small for his little body. My "little head." He always wore a little heart for his tag which somehow he managed to use to get stuck to the carpet. I think the best thing about him is that when you looked at him, you could tell that he had already reached that level of blissfulness that you and I are always trying to find. Most of the time, it was like he just didn't have a care in the world. He was a lover, not a fighter. He would let his sister beat him up then he would go and bathe her head. He was always submissive and loving - taking no quarrel with anyone and on his back exposing his tummy in a second. I respected his persistence and resiliency. He never got mad at you and always came when welcomed back on your lap.
He kissed you like a tootsie roll pop . . . lick one, lick two, chomp! He would do completely silly things like get stuck on top of the door, lay on top of the silly putty on the table, and roll on the counter after you just cleaned it with Windex. One time he slinked up to the vacuum cleaner, batted it, hissed, and ran. So silly and sweet. His constant grooming and licking habit led to the loss of his tail, but he didn't mind that one bit. It was his constant search for Ambrosia, and God, please now that you have him, let him find it. His favorite blanket was the green one. His favorite color has always been hot pink. He was fancy that way. He always let us know when the water bowl was emtpy and especially the food bowl. It was like he was the eternal kitten. Scuro has this cat-like mischievousness to her that Ra never had. He always just had . . . an innocence. He greeted new guests by waking them up in the middle of the night, flat dab laying on the middle of their chests. He was such a purr-head. He was nine years old, and we thought we would have more time with him.



God, if animals don't have souls it must be because they are already your angels. Take him home. Pet him. He likes his chin and tummy rubbed. He likes to sit on your lap when you are typing at the computer or on the toilet. He loves talking on conference calls and hates closed doors. Keep a closet ajar somewhere just so he can sneak in and lay among the blankets. He isn't the smartest cat in the world, but he is the sweetest. Yeah, sometimes he can be really stinky. It is like he is baking soda and soaks up the smells from the litter box. Let him know you are behind him, but don't sneak up on him because it makes him jump. What else? He likes sitting in his porn star pose and licking his belly so give him a wall to lean on on occasion. I think it was his way of making sure everyone laughs. He doesn't get over-cuddled and needs lots of attention. He needs hugs and kisses every day. All the other animals might bully him, so keep him protected. He has loved me more and better than most humans have. He and Scuro have been by my side longer and closer than any man or any human friend. He happily went though all the hell I've been through just so he could take care of me. Make sure he isn't alone. Amen, amen, amen.

We don't know what happened. He yelped, and Mike pulled him out from under the bed. His tongue was out and he was fading. Within minutes, he was just gone. We rushed to the emergency vet. When the vet brought him back out to us tonight, they had wrapped him in a towel, and it was his favorite color - pink.

I love you Ra. Mommy loves you. Daddy too. You are the best little orange cat in the world, and I would have done anything for you. I am sorry we weren't able to do more. I love you so much. Thank you for being you. Everyone loved Ra. Chris once offered me a million dollars to take Ra with him when he moved out. Not in a million years. Ra is truly irreplaceable! We all love you, Little Head.

Goals

-Exercise/lose weight
-Fellowship with other couples: Matt & Amy, Orson & Donna, Haya & Mahdi, Corey & Megan, Charlene & Nick, Larry & Susan, etc.
-Find/start small group at Meck
-Write a random thank you note
-Finalize December holiday plans
-Bake/make Christmas/holiday gifts for neighbors, colleagues, and friends
-Buy Christmas gifts for family
-Finished geovisualization data coding, come up with results, and write up paper(s)
-Decide dissertation topic
-Revise and resubmit WASA paper to The International Journal of Human Computer Studies
-Revise and submit Technology Overload Gender research to a journal (pick journal)
-Finalize January travel plans to San Fran
-Get signatures from board members to finalize non-profit bylaws
-Finalize 501(c)3 paperwork
-Write grant proposal
-Get some sleep

Plog 9/17/09

Breakfast: toast and nutella
Lunch: macaroni & cheese with hot dog
Dinner: spaghetti, hamburger meat, and soy sauce
Snack: brownies, chips and queso, fruit
Water: 1 glass
Exercise: PT
Doctor: Spine specialist

Plog 9/16/09

Breakfast: feta asparagus frittata
Lunch: raviolis
Dinner: spaghetti, hamburger meat, and soy sauce
Snack: popcorn, vitamin milk, pineapple bread pudding, brownie bites
Water: 1 glass
Exercise: PT
Doctor: PT

Plog 9/13/09

Breakfast: mini bagel with nutella
Lunch: Left over pizza
Dinner: Thai chicken satay with rice noodles
Snack: vanilla vitamin milk, pineapple bread pudding
Water: 2 glasses
Exercise: PT exercises, A little Wii Fit
Doctor: None

Plog 9/12/09

Breakfast: asparagus, feta frittata
Lunch: Sonny's BBQ
Dinner: Boboli white
Snack: vanilla vitamin milk
Water: 2 glasses
Exercise: PT exercises
Doctor: None

Plog 9/11/09

Breakfast: peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Lunch: pasta with soy sauce
Dinner: fried pork won tons
Snack: vanilla vitamin milk
Water: 2 glasses
Exercise: None
Doctor: None

Plog 9/10/09

Breakfast: deviled eggs
Lunch: raviolis
Dinner: 3 slices of pepperoni pizza
Snack: handful of peanuts, hood chocolate milk with vitamins, Pringles cup, more deviled eggs, toast and nutella
Water: 1 glass
Exercise: PT exercises
Doctor: None

Plog

9/8/09

Breakfast: 2 snack sized Jimmy Dean sausage and biscuits
Lunch: hot dog with bun, cinnamon apple sauce cup, Pringles cup
Dinner: spaghetti with hamburger and mushrooms, goat cheese, garlic, olive oil, and pan fried pita bread
Snack: handful of peanuts, strawberry shake
Water: 3 glasses
Exercise: None, didn't do PT because hip was hurting too much, slept on ice pack
Vitamins: Bought GNC Woman's powder multi-vitamin in vanilla. Tried it. It is okay.
Doctor: Went to Chiropractor

9/9/09
Breakfast: toast and nutella
Lunch: left over spaghetti
Dinner: Perogies and hotdogs w/o buns
Snack: Vitamin peach shake, Pringles cup, honey roasted peanuts, beef jerky
Water: skim milk. Need more water . . .
Exercise: PT exercises
Vitamins: cup of vita-powder with skim milk
Doctor: Physical therapy

Getting Down to Business

Okay, seriously, I need to work to get healthy. Some steps:

1) Keep a food/exercise journal - eat right and exercise.
2) Continue physical therapy.
3) Go to my 10 million follow up doctors' appointments (ugh.)
4) Find a liquid or gummy adult multi-vitamin my tummy can take on a daily basis.
5) Set an alarm on my phone to remember to take my middle-of-the-day pills. Get some kind of pill holder for my wallet.
6) Drink more water.
7) I need to figure out if my back problem is my L5-S1 lumbar or my SI joint (caused most likely by the ulcerative colitis). Based on my limited research, you treat them differently so it matters which one you have.
8) Pray! (I guess this one should actually go first...)

Food journal starts tomorrow. I ate like crap today.

Our Family

Pam & Mike

Chiaroscuro "Scuro"

Ra

Carrera

Uluru "Ru"

Twerp

Love your Neighbor as Yourself

I really believe that Mike and I try to put service to others as a integral part of our lives. To me, what other purpose to life could there be? But sometimes, I get discouraged because it feels like no one really helps us. In the age of social networking, you would think it would make friendships stronger instead of just - cursory. Sometimes it feels like accepting a friend request or liking someone's status update makes people feel like they have done their part being your friend for the day. There are so many times when I hear people say, "let me know if there is anything I can do to help," but it seems empty because most people know that if you actually come up with something and ask the person to do it, most often the response will be that they are somehow busy or otherwise engaged. Helping someone out is really only an option when it isn't an inconvenience. We do it half heartedly when we throw ourselves all the way into the things that we want to pursue. Instead of just doing something nice for someone else, somehow we feel like we are off the hook as long as we just make the offer. And not only this, society seems to dictate that actually asking for help isn't something you should do. People feel embarrassed or ashamed and generally push people who know they need help away because it somehow makes you feel stronger. We have become suspicious if someone wants to help us and sometimes even offended. And we have learned asking for help is an annoyance or bother to others so we just don't do it.

Society has made us on-demand, instant gratification, have it your way, put yourself first, that was easy, at the push of a button, suck it up, just take what you can, put your best foot forward, no need to compromise, don't get in my way, all men for themselves people who often find ourselves having everything we could possibly want and confused about the lonely, empty feeling we have inside. So how to we change this? How do we actually start loving our neighbors as ourselves? How do we really start to truly connect and feel like a community? How can we start asking one another for help? And when asked for help, how do we administer it passionately without even thinking about how it negatively impacts our original plans? How do we make time for friends on a weekly basis instead of keeping them at arms length on a buddy list? How do we move away from cooking meals for two to always making some extra just in case someone stops by? How do we shift our priorities from achieving personal success to measuring our success based on how well we have loved others?

Sigh. Maybe I am just having a rough morning. Sometimes humanity amazes me and others it just makes me sad.

Now I Law Me Down to Sleep

God, I sincerely want to do your will in my life, but man is it hard sometimes! Just wanted to ask for your help with some of my struggles:

First, I get confused about what exactly it is you want me to do. I see the guidance from the Bible - love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. However, in practice in my own life sometimes it is ambiguous as to what exactly that means. Sometimes it isn't that I want to be disobedient, it is just I don't know what they heck I should be doing.

Second, I get hurt. When I try to do something loving or sacrificial, inevitably it seems like Satan finds a way to make it an uphill battle. Conventional wisdom then teaches me that I should become bitter, guarded, and self-protecting instead because no one likes getting hurt. As a Christian, I am supposed to forgive and give my other cheek when I get slapped on the first. There is no way I can do that on my own. I don't have the strength of Jesus to be able to live a perfect life, be condemned, and still die to save others because of unconditional love. I guess sometimes I just want to pray for strength because this world can be such an ugly place. On one hand I genuinely want to help people because I really do care, but on the other hand sometimes I feel myself isolating myself from people because they can be down right mean. So I feel like I love people and want to hide from them at the same time.

Third, society defines success so much differently than the Bible. To be successful, it is about personal achievements, power, money, strength, independence, self-indulgence, etc. It is like the world turned Jesus's teachings upside down. You strive to be first, not last. when the Bible says that it is in our weakness that we are strong because of our reliance on God, the world condemns any sign of weakness. Apologies are signs of weakness. So as the world has become this on-demand, materialistic, individualistic thing - it seems like it just tears people apart. Give me what I want now. Don't get in my way. Put yourself first. There is no need to compromise. Marriage vows seem to have a convenience clause. Relationships are fragile and broken so easily between co-workers, friends, family, etc. While we expect to be forgiven, we allow very little room for others to make mistakes. Stay at home mothers aren't respected because they can't (or choose not to) multi-task their children and a lucrative career. People feel worthless because they can't find a job - when did a career become synonymous with self-worth? People encourage you to choose your own personal enrichment over forming deep connections with others - at sometimes making sacrifices that have no personal benefit to you. So basically, I get torn between the things that matter to me and the things that matter to me that matter to me because of what other people think. I am not going to lie and say that I don't care how the world perceives me. I like praise. I like others to think I am smart and successful. I grew up leanring that you had to be perfect to be loved. That doesn't get untaught overnight. So sometimes I feel my heart strings pulling me toward stuff that matters more to me than the "Bitch-Goddess Success' (quoting DH Lawrence), I still find myself feeling guilty when I don't measure up to her yardstick.

Fourth, sometimes my physical health just gets in the way of all the things I want to do to glorify you. I get tired, exhausted, depressed, achy, anxious, and just generally blah. I am only 29 years old, and I have too many health problems for my age. I have wonderful ambitions and great ideas but sometimes just not taking a mid-afternoon nap seems like a miracle. when Jesus was on earth, was he limited by his physical body? It is hard to separate me from my physical confines even though my soul really does have the desire to do more. I don't remember many stories in the Bible about ill people doing great things. In fact, most of the stories I remember have to do with Jesus healing believers. So either there is something I am missing or maybe I just don't have strong enough faith. However, even in the Bible, the man with the sick son prayed for his healing by exclaiming . . . "I believe, help my disbelief."

And fifth, it is just so hard to understand the intanglible. I am supposed to be living for something better in Heaven, but I can't imagine something that I have never seen, experienced, or could probably never begin to wrap my mind around - and the Bible even says that I could never understand your master plan for us. It would be like Ra (my not-so-smart but completely loving cat) being expected to understand every nuance of why I do what I do on a daily basis to make sure he is safe. Although he loves running out the garage door, I know he would be no match for the fox that we found in our yard the other day. Okay, so maybe not the best metaphor, but I am sure you understand me better than I understand you - and that's pretty much the point. I can choose to believe many things, but there are a lot of things that I just don't get. While sometimes it is good enough for me to just have faith that you have it figured out and be glad that it isn't up to me to have all under control, the Bible is full of contradictions and generalities that simply just don't have the feel of a Dummy's guide to life. I can't believe that a child growing up in some remote third world country who never heard the Gospel and accepts Jesus as Lord goes to Hell when he or she dies. In some ways, I am a very practical person. I sponsor a Compassion child in Bolivia, and it bothers me that her letters are all just about "May you be blessed in the Lord Jesus Christ and I will pray for you a thousand times a day." I want her to learn how to read. I want her to learn a trade so that she can help her family move out of poverty. I do believe that you alone nourish us, but you do it through means other than just yourself. If that weren't the case, there should have never been an earth. There should have just been a huge thrown where we could just all worship instead of fellowship 24 hours a day. No need for food, money, or each other. Reminds me about some joke I heard about a man stranded in a flood on his roof waiting for you to save him . . . but I am sure you have heard that one before.

While I know that this may sound like a disrespectful prayer, instead I hope that you see that it is a thoughtful one. Instead of praying about loaves of daily bread and what it seems like I should pray for as a good Christian, I am bringing you the things that are really on my heart. I am asking for your help to my real struggles because I definitely know that I cannot solve them all on my own. Typically I write my prayers down because when I say them in my head I tend to trail off into thinking about something completely unrelated. It helps me to be more focused and honest with myself and with others along with being more respectful to you because I am not thinking about trivial things like what to wear tomorrow or that thing I forgot to do that I really need to remember to add to my list. And I don't want you to think I am missing the important parts of my daily prayers such as being thankful and asking for forgiveness. I am very thankful for so many things in my life. And I know I have sinned and will continue to sin and need to ask your mercy and forgiveness on a daily basis. I just can't sink into a shallow mindset and not have these types of questions, and I really don't think that you are the type of God who would want that. So here I am at three in the morning as honest as can be. There is a song I really like; the words go something like, "God, move, or move me." I guess that is kinda what I am saying here. God, you do it.

Hospital Cost Craziness

One night in the hospital:

room & board: $605
pharmacy: $2,433
medical supplies: 100
labs: $2071
Radiology: $1944
Emergency Room: $1587
GI Services: $1260

Total: $10,000

Wow. Luckily we have insurance to pay most of it, but man getting sick is expensive!

Carrera (and Twerp)

Carrera is the newest addition to our family (below). So that makes Pam, Mike, Chiaroscuro (Scuro), Ra, Uluru (Ru), and Carrera. We found her at the Great Dane Rescue of Charlotte which is near North Lake Mall. They had named her Flurry, and she was there with her sister Wrinkles (named for her wrinkly face). Her paperwork says she is a Chinese Shar Pei which I could see for her sister but not at all for her. We are guessing that her mom might have been part Shar Pei (She might be half Chinese like me!), and she is just a mutt just like me. She is extremely sweet and gentle (opposed to Ru who is sweet and crazy). She is a little timid, but she is getting more bounce in her step every day. We took her to the vet today and found out she has whip worms. The vet treated her, but they say that it is hard to get rid of the eggs once they are in your yard so the chance of reinfection is high. Hopefully we caught it in time. Mike de-pooped the yard today. Generally, the vet said that the whip worms shouldn't be that serious - just more of a nuisance.

She is a great dog! She loves to walk on the leash - without pulling (much). She doesn't chase around the cats. She is a little bit of a guard dog - she barked at the lawn guy next door but doesn't bark at the neighbors. She hasn't had any accidents in the house. She growls at Ru when he isn't using his manners but otherwise is very well-mannered. She eats very slowly which we aren't used to. I had to put a Beggin' Strip mixed in her food to get her to eat.

The worse mishap we have had so far is really our fault. We still have some injured ducks and a pre-teen duck in the corner of our yard. We fenced it off where the dogs couldn't really get in but Twerp (our pre-teen) could get out. Twerp is a gutsy little guy, so while the dogs were outside, I was in the garage cleaning the litter boxes, and Mike was cooking dinner, Twerp ran out into the backyard lawn. Carrera was very interested in this, so we picked up Twerp in her mouth. Thank God, Mike happened to see this, so he ran outside and chased her down. Poor things. It scared Mike, Twerp, and Carrera half to death. We examined Twerp. He only seemed to have one small pin point of blood on his back near is Twerpy little wing. It has been 2-3 days, and he is running around just like ever - we are praying he doesn't have any internal injuries or infections. We went right out and got a mesh fence to zip tie to the border fence so that Twerp (Blue-Duck and Speckled-Head) can't get out of the corner of the yard. We are keeping a much closer eye on them now.

At first, we were going to name her Quarry as in a "marble quarry" because 1) it rhymed with Flurry (her original name) and 2) her coat looks very much like white marble with gray marbling. We even got her a tag. However, it didn't stick. (Mike's mom started calling her Cory and in general it wasn't very easy to say. Plus, she didn't really know her name as Flurry anyway.) So, her name is now Carrera after Carrera marble which comes from the Carrera quarries - and is the classic white and gray marble. Not officially, it is also because when Mike sold his Boxster S he wanted to get a Carrera but we got an XTerra instead. Now he can say that he finally got the Carrera he wanted. Maybe if we get a Porsche Carrera we could name it "Dog" or "Mutt."

She has learned how to chew a raw hide, but she still isn't quite sure of the concept of toys. She now knows "sit" and "shake," but she is still working on "lay down." She is quite the shaking machine though. If you have a treat, she dances with both of her paws trying to give them to you so she can get the treat. Very cute.

So that is Carrera's story so far.


CarreraRu 006
Originally uploaded by pamela_j_karr

Me and My Colon

So I now know more about my colon than I ever wanted to know. (Don't worry, I'll spare you the pictures.) A couple of weeks ago, I went to Urgent Care, then the emergency room, then was admitted to the hospital. The GI doctor says I have the classic symptoms of chronic ulcerative colitis (UC). Basically, it is inflammation of the colon which is in the Irratable Bowel Sydrome (IBS) family. Considered worse than general IBS but not as bad as Chrone's Disease (UC is infection of the large intestine while Chrone's is both the large and small intestine). I am still trying to learn about it. At first, I thought I might have gotten a bacterial infection (salmonella) from the ducks (another long story), but they said they tested and biopsied and there was no sign of that and that it looked more chronic (I guess it would have just been colitis then instead of ulcerative colitis). It showed infection all the way to the "left-side" which is basically the whole large intestine/colon instead of just part of it (colon goes up through your right side than over). Anyway, they treated me with a whole bunch of medicine in the hospital and gave me some prescriptions to take home.

One medicine I have to take 3 capsules 3 times daily. It is called Balsalazide. Possible Side effects: Headache, nausea, vomiting, joint pain, abdominal pain, trouble sleeping, or loss of appetite may occur. If any of these effects persist or worsen, notify your doctor or pharmacist promptly. (Probably explains why I am blogging at 5:30 AM.)

The other medicine tastes horrible! At first I had to take 5 pills a day, but luckily I am now down to two a day. It is called Prednisone. Possible Side Effects:

• problems with your vision;

• swelling, rapid weight gain, feeling short of breath;

• severe depression, unusual thoughts or behavior, seizure (convulsions);

• bloody or tarry stools, coughing up blood;

• pancreatitis (severe pain in your upper stomach spreading to your back, nausea and vomiting, fast heart rate);

• low potassium (confusion, uneven heart rate, extreme thirst, increased urination, leg discomfort, muscle weakness or limp feeling); or

• dangerously high blood pressure (severe headache, blurred vision, buzzing in your ears, anxiety, confusion, chest pain, shortness of breath, uneven heartbeats, seizure).

Less serious side effects may include:

• sleep problems (insomnia), mood changes;

• acne, dry skin, thinning skin, bruising or discoloration;

• slow wound healing;

• increased sweating;

• headache, dizziness, spinning sensation;

• nausea, stomach pain, bloating; or

• changes in the shape or location of body fat (especially in your arms, legs, face, neck, breasts, and waist).

So when I thought I would at least lose some weight being sick, I have actually been voraciously hungry. Argh. From my understanding, I am supposed to stay on Balsalazide long term but not Prednisone - that only when my colon gets really inflamed. The GI said that the side effects of Balsalazide are far better than letting your UC go uncontrolled (some people have to have their colon removed, yikes!). Just listening to the doctor right now since I am relying he knows better than me.

Irronically, the medication that I was already on which interacts the worst and causes flare ups of UC is Ziana which is a topical acne gel. In fact, some people think that it might actually cause UC. Who would have thought that your most dangerous medication might be your acne cream?! Regardless, I stopped using it and am back to good ol' Neutrogena.

So, that is all I really know so far. Needless to say, I haven't been feeling my best the last few weeks. Randomly feel better and worse, but hopefully it will get better instead of worse over time. I cried at my 2 week check up with the GI even though he has already diagnosed me. I guess it just felt more serious and long term hearing it when I wasn't drugged up in the hospital. I also have over active bladder, so this is going to make it fun for me. (Maybe the next home improvement project should be a master bath upgrade since I will probably be spending a lot more time in there.) With everything else wrong with me, I was just frustrated and upset. Dr. Barkley (my PCP) said that when he got the medical records sent over from the hospital, he thought, "Boy this girl just can't get a break. She is too young to have all these problems..." Okay, changing subject because I am tearing up again.

On a happier note, we adopted a dog from the Great Dane Rescue of Charlotte. No, she isn't a great dane - we have no idea what she is. Her name was Flurry, then we renamed her Quarry, and then we renamed her again to Carrera. However, I will write a separate post about that since we has nothing to do with me and my colon.

Blog fighting for attention

My blog has been feeling lonely lately. Not much and a lot going on all at the same time. Some updates:

-We caught one snapping turtle. Subsequently, Mike speared his foot and had to get 3 stitches. He is better now though.
-We have been attempting to catch the 3 crested Swede ducks. We have learned that they can dive and hold their breath under water.
-We bought a kayak for me. Mike is still waiting for the one he wants to be stocked at Bass Pro Shoppe
-Mike is taking mandatory vacation next week, but we aren't doing any big trips. He had to go to a meeting in Wichita today. Bor-ring.
-We are going camping at Hanging Rock, and we will be bringing my kayak.
-The pond out back is looking better this year than it ever has before. Still need to find some triploid sterile grass carp.
-Max got a new dog named Penny. She is a Puggle.
-Mom got her picture taken at a BBQ with Tim Tebow. She was very excited about this.
-We are going to a conference in Chicago in August. Unfortunately it falls on our 1 year anniversary. Fortunately we will get to spend some time with Kim, Tony, and Max. Hopefully catch up with Kourtney too.
-Scuro and Ra's bloodwork came back just fine from their last "senior wellness check ups"
-Scuro is getting her teeth cleaned Wednesday. Afterwards, she will be sure to pee on the bed.
-I passed my qualifying exams! :-) Now I have to code data. :-|
-Gabe and Kristin (Mike's friends from college) came over and stayed the night on their way to Myrtle Beach.
-Mike's company was sold to Intel, but thus far, he still has a job.
-We bought new phones. Before, we both hated each others' phones. Now we both have Instincts.
-Okay, I need to get to bed

To Do List for Tomorrow

1) Recreate and critique Steve's resume (Done)
2) Type up HOA board meeting minutes (Done)
3) Follow up on sidewalk repair request (Done)
5) Call home protection policy people about A/C (Done)
6) Wish Tausha a Happy Birthday (Done - still need to call)
7) Bingo with Britthaven (Done)
8) Call Restaurant.com to exchange gift certificates (Done)
9) Mail copy of alarm notification to Molly Maid (Done)
10) Pay bills (Done)
13) Remind Mike to figure out vacation stuff (Done)
15) Update ARC form for Mike (Deferred to Mike)
16) Go grocery shopping (Done)
18) Remind Mike to get car inspection (Done)
19) Spray paint turtle trap (Done)
20) Water office plant (Done)

And my always task: do more research

Deferred until later . . .
22) Plant poppies (Done)
23) Laundry (In-Progress)

4) Call Dave about the Leacroft website & block party
12) Follow up about roof insurance claim
14) Submit ARC form for fence staining
17) Get oil changes
11) Back up laptop
21) Pick up prescription

Perennials

I have decided that annuals are a waste of money, and we are only going to buy perennials for our yard. And I am not above saving the receipt from Lowe's and returning the ones that die within a year. I will post pictures of our yard soon. Mike is heckbent on keeping the drip irrigation system he put in last year. I just don't like that it has so many points-of-failure. He was pleasantly surprised by how well it weathered the winter though.

Mike left for San Fran today then is flying to Chicago. He should be back Wednesday night. Until then, it is just me, Scuro, Ra, and Ru chillin' at the house.

Pam's Nexus

FBNetwork
Originally uploaded by pamela_j_karr

I think this Facebook App is the coolest thing ever. Here is the visualization of my social network on Facebook. I realized that I am missing a network for my Tampa Bay Friends and College Friends. Where are you guys?

Pam on Facebook:
http://www.new.facebook.com/people/Pamela-Wisniewski/814060829

Hello Blog

Dear blog,

I haven't forgotten about you. It is just that married life keeps me busy and having someone to talk to all the time makes one feel less compelled to share with strangers who may or may not care. I know you are always there for me when I need to vent or rant or generally send mass updates to my family and friends. For that, I thank you.

Your stormy-weathered friend,
Pam

Crashing after Exams

I am relieved that they are over! Ugh, I am going to take a nap now. Thanks for all the good luck wishes. They helped a bunch!

Studying Sucks

I sent Mike to the NoDa dog bar with Ru for some socialization (for both the dog and the man). I am at home studying. My finger is hurting because I am taking so many notes. At least it wasn't raining today. I need to find my cell phone and text Mike to see what we are going to do about dinner. We went to the House of Leng yesterday for dinner, and had enough left overs for both of us to eat for lunch. Alas, there are no more cupcakes. Very windy outside today - it sounds like someone is knocking on the door. I think it is just the wind.

The trees are growing back their leaves, and soon we will find out which of our plants are actually perennials. I don't see the point of getting annuals if you know they are just going to die every year. :-\

Ugh

You know how it is when you get really mad at your husband, and you know he feels completely horrible, but you aren't ready to stop being mad at him yet? I think in some ways, Mike thinks if I am really angry with him, he is scared that I might leave. So even when I am extremely angry with him, sometimes I have to just stop and tell him I still love him. Sometimes that is hard to do when you love someone, but if you stopped loving everyone you ever got mad at, you wouldn't have anyone left.

Spaghetti, cheese, crackers for dinner tonight. Ready to bake chocolate chip cookies. Mmmm.

Yay! Stuffed Mushrooms!!

My husband is so wonderful - he is downstairs cooking chicken marsala and stuffed mushrooms. (While I am procrastinating for a bit from studying.) ;-)

Say prayers for my mom's boyfriend Watson who recently underwent esophagus stretching and eye surgery. He is having a hard time right now. Also for Aunt Cheryl who recently underwent brain surgery.

For anyone looking for a place to go for Easter service, my church Mecklenburg Community Church (Meck) is having Easter at Verizon.

Ru was naughty today - he ate my packet of ramen noodles from the counter (yes, I am still a college student, so I can still eat ramen noodles!) Ra just fell of the kitchen counter; so much for cats always landing on their feet.

BTW, EVERYONE over in my old department is pregnant or has had a baby recently. There must be something in the curriculum air vents in the Friday building or something. Mike and I are still waiting about 2 years for kids. Once I am over the qualifying exams hump which I now just have a psychological fear of, I will be a much happier person. My advisors are great though. Funny, friendly, nice, encouraging. Yay.

I do need to catch up with Matt, Amy, Haya, etc. from my old department though. Missing them lots!

Anyway, I think I hear the dinner bell . . .

7 Days and Counting

Okay, I am starting to get nervous about qualifying exams now. I only have 7 more days to study. Yikes! And unfortunately, I will have to study straight through Ra's 9th birthday. Maybe he will join me on my lap for some of my study time.

I am in the process of summarizing all the articles I have to read for my exam and trying to commit them to memory. I think my brain is getting old because it is harder to remember things these days.

However, I still know: am is are was were be being been have has had do does did may might must can could shall should will would - my auxiliary verbs from 7th grade.

In other news, as HOA board secretary, I have been helping coordinate the retiling of the pool. We chose a gray slate kind of tile with gray grout. I think it will look pretty good. I have other action items on my list, but my HOA duties have been put on hold until after qualifying exams.

Ugh, so the small claim we filed against the landscaping company (and won) pretty much was a bust. Even though we won a judgment of $5K, they don't have any money in their account to be able to collect. The judge said the only recourse we have is to write the secretary of state and let them know these guys are ripping people off. Our yard, slowly but surely is starting to recover. We overseeding so we actually have grass again. We replaced the crappy Crepe Myrtles with nice Yoshino Cherry trees (which are in the process of blossoming!). The biggest problem still is the drainage of the yard. We had Tom put in a French drain which helped some, but we are still getting a muddy side yard and standing water - which make for a muddy, messy dog every day.

Let's see, what else? Max, my nephew, has started walking, but I have been too bust to check out the videos and pictures. Will be one of the first things I do after I get back from my conference in Boston. I also have another conference in August where I am going to Chicago. Hopefully I will be able to visit with Kim and Tony (and bring Mike) when I go.

Anyway, hugs to all and to all a good night!

9 Days and Counting Down

I have nine days until qualifying exams. I have read through all the materials for taxonomies of recommender systems and hybrid recommender system, content-based systems, collaborative filtering recommenders, etc. I also have read through a good bit of HCI articles, Visualization, and Geovisualization. Have a lot more stuff to remember before then!

I couldn't ask for more

I have the most supportive and loving husband in the world. Mike is there for me the times I really need him. Sure, we have our differences, but he has never let me down when it came to the big stuff. He has never said one harsh word to me or called me a name out of anger. Sometimes he doesn't know what to do, but he always tries. I am so completely and utterly thankful that God brought him into my life. I can only hope that others experience the love and support he shows me.

Mike!

I don't realize how much better Mike makes my life until he leaves for a few days, and I get downright grumpy. This time, I freaked out thinking I might have Meningitis because I have been having headaches and neck pain/stiffness. At the same time, I am already on an antibiotic twice a day for something else, so who knows. I know for sure I am a hypochondriac about this stuff, but then I never know when I should worry about my health. I am not the healthiest person in the world, so I am sure if I keep searching, they will find something horrible wrong with me. Back to the note about my wonderful husband . . .

Mike recently had a role change at work. Basically, he will be getting paid the same, get more work, chase smaller deals instead of the bigger ones. So, in some ways it is bad but in others it is good. Not as good that he will have to travel a bit more and be busier while at home, but good because smaller deals make him feel more in control, not like he has to wait to see if a multi-million dollar contract is going to be signed to figure out if he is going to get his commission or not. I mean, he makes a good base pay, put having some steady commission would feel nice too since we are still paying off our wedding. Oh, and the economy sucks.

The reason I love Mike the most is that he is the sweetest man I know. He has a good heart, and I know that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. Just the thought of hurting me makes him tear up. When we first met, he had been hurt a few times and had his walls up, but now that I have infiltrated those protective walls, he is my fortress. God sent him to me so I can show him how to love and care about people, and God sent him to me to protect me from the bad things in this world.

I felt helpless and frustrated when Mike was really sick. I wanted to do something to help him feel better, and I couldn't. At the same time, I was overwhelmed because everything was pretty much left up to me. Even now, when he has a strange look on his face, I ask him how he is feeling to make sure he isn't having a really bad heachache or something. Eh, normally, it is probably just gas.

I have officially changed my last name on my social security card. Next stop, the DMV. Ick.

This semester has been busy but productive. This last week hasn't been very good because I haven't been feeling that great. The problem with having your doctor convinced that you are a hypochondraic is that you don't want to go in to him unless you know you are really sick. So, I have this silly feeling that if I go in to him and say that I haven't been feeling well, that he will just blow me off.

Anyway, Mike comes home tonight. I need some cuddling, and hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. Right now, my eyes are hurting along with my head, so I am going to lay down for a bit.

Mike's Birthday

MikeBirthday
Originally uploaded by pamela_j_karr

Mike is going to be in Raleigh for his actual birthday (the 19th), so we went to Nakato's this past Friday. His mom, Orson, and Donna joined us. It was fun. I bought him the birthday package where they give you a cake, sing, and take a picture. Cheesy but good. :-)

Our Prayer List

Grandma Berry - recently had a Pacemaker put in
Aunt Cheryl - soon to have brain surgery
Buddy Cook - fighting Cancer
Robin Schronce - soon-to-be mom
Max, Connor, Stephen, Cameron, Aidan, Alannah- new babies! (I am sure I am forgetting someone)
Mom and Watson - quitting smoking
Rachael - generally surviving high school
Daniel, Alexi, Joe, Liz - some of the many who are looking for new job opportunities
Jackie - settling in to her new house
Mike - still having bad headaches
Kourtney, Ann, and Hubbies - getting married this weekend (two separate couples, Las Vegas and Chicago)
Undisclosed friends and acquaintances - having relationship struggles, health issues, money problems, etc.

Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Headaches

Unfortunately, Mike's headaches have returned in full force. However, a new neurologist has suggested that the pain might be coming from the inflamed nerve endings around his brain (think more external head than internal head), so he got steroid shots in his head the other day. Didn't seem to do much good, so he is going to try going back for more acupuncture and make an appointment with his doctor. Spasms haven't come back, so that's good. He has been able to continue working through the recent headaches, so I am not sure exactly how bad they are. He had to take pain killer tonight, but sometimes it is hard for me to tell if and when he is hurting unless he tells me.

I spent most of the day seeing blurry because I had my eyes dilated by an ophthalmologist. So even though I feel like I am having a harder time seeing than before, he said that I am still legally blind in my left eye and still 20/20 in my right eye. So there you go.

Other news, my mom had sudden hearing loss in her left ear. So that was bad; however, it has prompted her to try to quit smoking which is awesome! Something I have been praying for since she started again. Since Dad died of Cancer when he was 52, I have nightmares that would happen to my mom too. I know quitting smoking doesn't guarantee her health, but as a Diabetic, it definitely improves her chances of living a longer, healthier life. Amen!

So, I am married and busy these days so I don't get around to blogging that often. I try to keep everyone updated and to keep in touch with friends. Facebook has been a big help in doing that. It is also a vortex that sucks away hours of my life at a time, but at least I know what everyone is up to.

Life is good. It is hard, but it is good. Crazy, beautiful, screwed up, but wonderful life.

Thank God for 2009

I am happy to say that Mike continues to get better. He still isn't feeling quite 100%, but he is able to work and mull around a bit these days. He actually left for CES in Las Vegas tonight; he was supposed to leave yesterday due to high winds, etc. Charlotte actually had wind gusts up to 50 MPH yesterday. Seems pretty fast to me.

So, that is my good news.

Argh, in OTHER news, the ATI driver for my new laptop is CRAP. I have a HP tablet laptop and an HP monitor, so you THINK they would be compatible. Well, no. The ATI driver fritzes out randomly and blue screens my laptop. Usually in the middle of something important. We updated the BIOS and some other things, but it looks like we just have towait for HP to pressure ATI to make a driver that works right for their machines. I hope they hurry up soon though. (Sorry, rant was because my computer caught the last ATI driver exception which looks like a black screen followed by a windows bubble. When it happens multiple times in a row, then I know the blue screen of death is soon to follow with no way to recover.)

Feeling a little pinched for money, like everyone else these days. We felt good about the manageability of our debt coming out of our wedding until the bottom dropped out of the economy and Mike got sick. So, we have sucessfully eaten in for the past week now - well, we did make an exception to have lunch with some friends passing through town for the holidays. Mike had some deals he was counting on closing this past quarter that didn't happen, so we are just hoping that they will close in January before the company's fiscal year is over. I guess it would help if we were praying about it too. Just seems weird to pray for monetary gain though.

We did the Hands on Charlotte orientation for volunteering. I was a member, but my membership lapsed. We have signed up for a few events, so it will be great to get back to volunteering.

However, the big goals right now are health, Mike's job, and PhD. So, we need to be heads down for a little while to make sure everything goes well in 2009. Goes divine maybe?

Catching Up

I took my Visual Analytics final today which felt good to get over with. It made me remember why they named me Diderot, Most likely to write my own encyclopedia, in high school. Poor guy has to grade essay questions, and he is working toward a paper deadline himself. At least my handwriting isn't microscopic like it used to be in middle school. I just finished editing my paper and creating my slide presentation for my final project in the class. So, I am caught up with my class, but now I have to catch up with my research.

Happy to report that Mike has been feeling better. Still headachy and spasmy, but able to get some work done and do some of his own driving. I kicked him out of bed early this morning because I couldn't get any sleep because he was snoring so freakin' loud. I seriously had ear plugs in and still couldn't sleep! I was about to go sleep on the couch myself, but he was a sweetie and realized that I had to take my final today, so he let me stay in bed.

We have both been diagnosed with sleep apnea, but I don't know about the whole CPAP thing. Since I also have restless legs, I pretty much dance around too much in my sleep to be able to keep an oxygen mask on all night. They have other surgeries and appliances, but they aren't they most widely accepted treatment, so I know our insurance won't pay for them. Trying to get A's in my classes while I am getting a low B in sleeping. :-)

We have officially decided that we are too poor right now to continue eating out so much. So if anyone has any good recipes, let us know.

Done with Christmas shopping, I think. We aren't going to do Christmas cards this year, but I am going to try to convince Mike to do a mini Christmas video with me. We will see how that goes. He is pretty much a sucker for me, so I sure it will be posted on here in a few days.

In the meantime, here is a video of the cats and their Christmas presents from Autnie Kim. Thanks, Auntie Kim - we loved them!

Sluggy

Well, Mike is sick with a cold now, but the ironic thing is that I think it is actually helping him feel a little better from his other symptoms. His uncontrollable muscle spasms are now happening mostly in the morning and evenings only, and he hasn't been feeling dizzy. So between the cold, the prayer blanket his aunt sent him, Tom's acupuncture, and the new medication, Mike is at least feeling well enough to drive to his own appointments now. Yay! He is still getting pretty bad headaches, so we are going to continue with the additional testing. The weird thing is that he can have multiple headaches at once. A dull headache in one place, another headache in another, and a sharp headache in another place. Weird. Oh, and I just looked up his medication Amitriptyline which says it is used for migraines and vaginal swelling. We have a lot more serious problems if he is having vaginal swelling!

Me, I am feeling pretty exhausted and stressed. I am behind in what I need to do for school, and I really just wanted to hit the ground running after we got back from the honeymoon. After all the set backs I was having with my old department, my new department has been a breath of fresh air. I just don't want them to think I am a slacker. :-( It has been difficult the last few months because we weren't sure if Mike could keep working, weren't sure if we would need to change our plans to have kids in a couple of years, etc. The economy crashing in the middle of it all didn't help much either.

But, overall, things are looking up. Mike is able to do more on his own now, and he is slowly getting back to work. I know money isn't the most important thing in the world, but it sure makes things worse if you don't have any.

Ugh, I am seriously about to fall asleep as I sit here typing. I swear coffee makes me sleepier than it does more awake. I hear that is a symptom of ADHD, but I am not going to bother to get diagnosed. I mean, all they would be able to do is give me Ritalin, and I already tried that for my hypersomulence, and it didn't do anything for me. It was supposed to help me stay awake/alert during the day, and I could take one and immediately take a nap. Sigh. Sometimes I think medication does more harm than it does good.

Core Dump

Empty Sad Lonely Helpless Numb Pointless Ungrateful Bored Confused Scared Fuzzy Annoyed Cold Fat Achy Aimless Misunderstood Dark Meaningless Tired Angry Crooked Pensive Hopeless Negative Crash Dry Passionateless Cowardly Detached Isolated Void Broken Mundane Stiff Worry Shame Pitiful Baffled Insignificant Mistaken Unworthy Repetitive Oxygen Dull Sore Random Guilty Naked Aware Effort Dumbfounded Unhealthy Wrong Different Waiting Lost Doubt Concern Fallen Breathe God Intangible Distant Contradiction Circles Old Foreign Yearn Flail Avoid Need Complex Questions Lacking

Flopsy the Snowman

Christmas 006
Originally uploaded by pamela_j_karr

We call him Flopsy because he keeps falling over. We figured that we have been a bit depressed over Mike's illness, so we tried to show a little Christmas cheer. Comment from my sister:

Looks great outside ;-)
Inside you're a wee bit Scrooge-y. ;-)

Another Non-Update

Monday - Mike went for an EMG. Came back normal but hurt a lot.
Tuesday - Mike went to Baptist/Wake Forest for 3rd opinion Neurologist Appt. She didn't run any tests, but she is sending his doctor here a list of about 3 more tests he can run. Kinda disappointing but not a complete dead end.
Wednesday - We went to see Nona Patterson, a psychologist just to make sure we are staying healthy emotionally at least. It went pretty good for a first visit. There must've been a major pressure change with the rain today, we both had horrible headaches in the afternoon.

So, still no diagnosis for Mike. Good news: his dizziness is going away. Bad news: he is still getting bad headaches and muscle spasms. Overall though, I think he has gotten to the point where he is getting better instead of worse.

Got my new laptop. Exciting. Still using my old one until I can get everything transferred over.

The Absence

Well, after more doctor's appointments, all we have been able to find out is what Mike does not have. He doesn't have Huntington's disease, West Nile, Syphilis, HIV, Diabetes, Lime disease, MS, Epilepsy, heavy metal poisoning, brain tumors, heart problems, Meningitis, restless leg syndrome, antinuclear antibodies, paraneoplastic syndrome, a drug problem, Cryptococcus, brain hemorrhages, or intra-axial abnormalities of the brain. So that's good.

Today's Update

We went to CMC to see a Toxicologist this morning. Boy, I must love Mike. First, I hate driving. Second, I had to wake up at 7 AM this morning. Third, there was frost outside (and I am from Florida). Fourth, I had to drive in I-77 traffic. I hate I-77 traffic. Fifth, I have to do it again tomorrow. We are going to CMC Neurological Clinic. Not sure what new stuff they can tell us, but we didn't get anything useful from his Neurologist in Concord yet, so might as well try.

Thank God for health insurance.

Mike has pretty much stabilized so at least he isn't continuing to get worse. He can do 1-3 hours of work from home a day (maybe). After that, he is headachy, spasmy, and dizzy. He has taken up eating a banana a day. Maybe he is turning into a monkey . . .

I am doing okay. I have been scheduling Geoviz participants and writing my paper for my final project for Visual Analytics. Other than that, I have just been getting stuff done around the house that has to get done. Cats and dog are doing well. They don't particularly like having to go to the bathroom in the cold (dog outside, cats in the garage), but they haven't revolted in the house yet.

I feel 60 years old. We actually went to K&W Cafeteria this evening for dinner because I didn't feel like cooking. We went to church on Sunday, but we haven't been getting out of the house much (minus doctor's appointments), so I am missing socializing with my friends. Hugs to everyone! Feel free to stop by; we would enjoy some company. Don't worry, we will kick you out before you over stay your welcome. :-)

Thankful

Things I am thankful for:


God - He gave us everything we have that is good or perfect.

My family - Mike, Ra, Scuro, Ru, Mom, Watson, Kim, Tony, Max, Lisa, Steve, Rachael, Ryan, Emily, Mike's mom, Mike's Dad, Julie, Michelle, and our extended families.

My friends - Matt, Amy, Haya, Mahdi, Amber, Chris, Melanie, Angela, Tausha, Liz, Randy, Dave, Pedro, Jamie, Orson, Donna, and too many others to list.

My PhD advisors - Heather and Dave. They are awesome even though I have been sucking at the PhD program lately.

My stuff - I just did two-sided printing with my new wireless printer. Quite nifty. Something I have wanted/needed for some time now. I also am thankful for my car Pearl. My heater Marvin who is keeping me warm right now. My home. My office. I really like electricity and running water too.

The ducks - We enjoy feeding the ducks in the back yard.

The Internet - Admittedly, I am addicted. I am not thankful for porn or cyber-crime though.

My ex-boyfriends - People who I will always love and want the best for but may not talk to anymore.

My health - Mike's condition reminds me that even though I am not the healthiest person in the world, being able to do normal daily life type stuff is a blessing.

My safety - Living in the US has allowed us to not live in fear of war at our doorstep. Although there is crime here, we live relatively safe lives.

Kindness of Strangers - Sometimes when I grieve over the cruelty and selfishness of humanity, someone does something to remind me that goodness still exists.

Vertigo

No new news from the doctors. Mike has his current symptoms and now a new one - vertigo. When he gets headachy and spasmy, he now gets dizzy. We are kind of thinking it might be Parkinson's, but it is hard to diagnose. I saw that there is a Parkinson's Center in Charlotte, so I am going to call them to see if they have more information.

We have an appointment with a Toxicologist early Tuesday morning, a counseling appointment the next week, and an appointment with a Neuromuscular doctor the next week. Mike's short term disability is giving him a hard time because they haven't found out what is wrong with him yet, so the insurance company doesn't want to pay benefits. They want test results that are out of range, and we try to explain to them that the biggest problem is that we don't know why he is sick. Argh. Stressful. Luckily, so far, his boss is working with him so he doesn't have to rely on the short term disability yet.

Thanksgiving was quiet but good. Mike's mom came over, and we all made dinner. We didn't expect the turkey to take NINE hours to cook, so we ended up eating all of our sides around 7 PM and our turkey came out (minus the wings which we were able to have with dinner) of the oven around 9 PM. Darn fresh turkeys. Next time, we are just going to get a Butterball.

Friday Mike

Yesterday, Mike had a follow up appointment with his Neurologist who sent him in to the hospital to get a blood patch for his spinal tap headaches and nausea. So we spent most of the day getting that done. His brain is feeling better which is good. His back and hips are hurting from the blood that was pushed back into his spine to clot the original puncture. It was a little concerning when the doctor who did it said something to the effect of "Well, we aren't exactly sure what it does, but we think . . ." So now he is getting better from the procedures used to try to figure out what was originally wrong with him in the first place.

His doctor put him on Depakote which seems to reduce the uncontrollable muscle spasms. It is a medication used to treat bi-polar, epilepsy, and migraines. The weird thing is that his doctor already ruled out epilepsy, but he doesn't know what the muscle jerks are from. Depakote has some serious side effects such as liver problems and pancreatitis so I don't want him on the medication if he doesn't have to be. We will have to see how he is doing over the next few days. His general doctor is working on some other referrals to hopefully help figure things out without having to wait until March.

More Mike

Mike's Neurologist can't get him into Duke or Baptist for a second opinion until February or March which is pretty depressing. He is scheduled for an EMG on December 8th. We went to his general doctor today, and he is going to try to get referrals for us to get into a Neuromuscular doctor and a Toxicologist sooner is possible. He said that Mike have to go back and get another spinal tap to get a blood patch if he doesn't stop getting nausea and headaches from the first spinal tap. Something about maybe leaking spinal fluid. I don't want to think about that too hard because it grosses me out. He is in good spirits, but he is still visibly hurting. He hasn't been able to keep down all his food, and he was dizzy most of the day yesterday. I don't like leaving him for very long because he forgets that he gets dizzy. I don't want him to fall down the stairs or something when I am away.

We decided that it would be best to also see a counselor together to help us both cope with the stress right now. I am going to call a few after typing this update. I do better some days than others. I was really geared up for both of us to get off to a good working start at his job and me at school after we got back from the honeymoon and the whole wedding thing behind us. I want to start saving up for having kids in about 2 years. I guess it is a little disheartening that right after we get married, we are dealing with strange medical problems instead of being able to enjoy one another. We have been lucky if he feels good enough to get out to dinner with friends.

Everyone is praying for us, so I know everything will be okay.

Status Quo

Mike is feeling a little better from the spinal tap, but his back is hurting him, and he is still getting nausea and said he is dizzy. Last night his armpit was sore, so I think his lymph nodes might be swollen. According to him, he is "super spasmy" today. We are calling his regular doctor to schedule an appointment. I am getting annoyed with his doctor's lack of responsiveness, so we may try to change primary care physicians for him if his doctor keeps being a dork.

In other news, we don't know what happened to grey duck who was sent back to the waterfowl rescue. Black duck is now limpy as well. However, he still has all his feather, so I think he will be okay. Ru is healing up just fine. He is no longer a satellite dish dog.

I have a physical therapist appointment in half an hour. She will tell me that I need to actually do the exercises she gave me to have them work. At that point, I will break down crying and run out of her office it a total panic of stress. Well, maybe not. She is pretty nice.

Matt's birthday was yesterday, and we were actually able to make it to dinner to see him and a few friends. We also got to meet Stephen (Baby Campbell) for the first time last night. What a cutie pie. Seems like we are a few years behind our friends on the whole having a baby department. Hopefully, we won't be too far behind. Mike has to get better first though.

No Update

Mike has a spinal headache (if it sounds painful, you should see him) from the lumbar puncture. Doctor has him on bed rest as he can't sit or stand for very long. Been difficult getting through to his regular doctor and neurologist today. Waiting on outstanding test results. Poor guy asked me what Huntington's disease was because that is the latest test the doctor is sending in. I gave him a print out from wikipedia, and it freaked him out. We are seriously hoping and praying that that test comes back negative. Other than that, we are just trying to take care of each other. My back has decided it wants to start going out again. I have a physical therapist appointment next week.

Mike Update 3

They released Mike from the hospital late yesterday afternoon. They still haven't found out why he is sick. He is still getting really bad headaches, involuntary muscle jerks, nausea, tightness in his chest, and pain in his neck. The doctor is running another test for Huntington's disease. He has been in bed since he got back from the hospital. Sitting up makes him feel worse. He is happier at home, so it doesn't make sense to keep him at the hospital if they aren't running more tests. He will probably have to go up to Duke for more tests. He will probably have to go on short term disability at work for a few weeks at least. I am calling school to see what I need to do to get leave for a while to take care of him.

Thanks for all the prayers and kind words. It is good to know we have a lot of friends and family who love us very much.

Mike Update 2

Well, they didn't release Mike today; they are keeping him another night. Still no results to help figure out what is going on. Strangely enough, his spasms have really slowed down - probably because he is in bed all day. I am staying the night with him. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.

It was sweet; my mom tried calling about 7 hospitals to find Mike and talk to him. She doesn't even think to try a cell phone. :-)

Mike has electrodes stuck all over his head with paper mache (how do you spell mache?). His room is also video surveillanced 24 hours/day. I guess I should have remembered that when I changed my pants.

Mike Update

Mike was admitted to the Concord hospital this morning. Hopefully it will just be overnight so they can observe him and run more tests. He is going to get another MRI, a spinal tap, and some other tests. I am picking up some clothes and stuff for him and will be driving back to the hospital shortly. I will report any new news as I can.

The Unknown

I've been stressed because Mike hasn't been feeling well. He started getting really bad headaches in July, but they couldn't get him in the see a Neurologist until October. Since then, he has developed tightness in his chest and mini seizures that make his whole body spasm. At first, it was only right before bed, and now it is pretty much all throughout the day. It has continously been getting worse. His doctor has advised that he not drive or travel which makes it hard for him to do his job. So he might have to go on short-term disability at work if they can't figure out and start treating the problem this week. He has already had 3 MRIs, CT scan, echo-cardiogram, a sleep deprived EEG, an EKG, a 48 hour EEG, a sleep study, and blood tests for all sorts of stuff (blood sugar, West Nile, Yellow Fever, Lime disease, etc.). They haven't found the cause yet. They have him on 2-3 new medicines. One is for seizures which helps his convulsions but makes him dizzy. At first they got rid of the muscle jerks, but then they came back. He is taking 2 in the morning and 2 at night, so he can't really increase the dosage. The other night, he got out of bed and just fell down on the floor because he was so dizzy. So I have been driving us around because he hasn't been feeling good enough to drive. Whatever it is has also been affecting his mental faculties where he just tells me sometimes, "I can't think." It also makes him depressed and anxious, whicvh I am not sure if those are symptoms or just a result of the symptoms. Either way, he has been having a very tough time of it the last few months. Of course, it gets me frustrated sometimes because I am not the most patient person, and having a fuzzy-headed newlywed husband can get pretty stressful. I know being sick isn't his fault, but it does put quite a bit of a burden on me when I am not generally the healthiest person in the world myself. I try to just be supportive, but I am definitely not perfect at it. The latest theory we have is that he had some fillings removed earlier this year, and he possibly could have gotten mercury poisoning which would cause all the symptoms he is experiencing. The other possibility is Parkinsons disease. His dad just reminded him that his great grandfather had Parkinson's. I am really hoping that it is mercury poisoning over Parkinson's though. I was trying to get him into the doctor Friday afternoon, but no one would see him. He didn't feel up to waiting in the Emergency room for hours to get seen - to probably be told that they wouldn't be able to run any of the tests until Monday anyway. So, I am driving him to the doctor early in the morning (Monday). He is scheduled for a spinal tap which I have heard can be excruciatingly painful. My poor honey. If they can't figure out what is wrong by doing testing, then he will need to be checked into a hospital, or we may have to go up to Duke so they can figure out what is going on. So we have been praying that he will feel better soon. I guess I wish this wasn't how we had to spend the first few months of married life. I will definitely stay true to my vows in sickness and in health, but I guess we all would wish that we didn't have to be tested right away. Mike is a sweetheart, and I just feel so helpless that I can't make him feel better. Overall, we are happy and love each other. He asked me the other day if I would have married him if he was having all of these problems before we got married. I told him of course. I am still lucky to have him even if times are a little tough right now.

The Real Crisis

I cried so hard last night, and it wasn't about the election. I was crying because of the shear meanness and anger that so many people have toward one another. I see more and more evidence of bitterness and/or apathy, and I don't know if it is because I am getting older or because the world is just progressively getting uglier. Thanks to the anonymity of the Internet, people have forgotten that respect is a virtue. And after some get accustomed to being nasty at the comfort of their keyboards, they grow more easy being that way in crowds and then so with individuals.

There is no use in being mean. None. Somehow being nice has become equated to weakness. One can be strong and resolute without being caustic and cruel. It seems like everything society worships are the things Jesus reviled. It takes more strength to be humble than to overflow with pride. It takes more courage to be wrongfully rebuked without retribution than it does to lash out in revenge.

I cried because I was so sad for humanity. I wanted to just love everyone so hard and all at once in some attempt to quell the hatred that seems to ooze so easily and out of no where. As if I were somehow important enough to get heard long enough to say, hush, just be nice, love one another, respect one another, comfort one another - or just be quiet. If they actually listened, would there just be silence?

I know I am an idealist to the core, and that will never change. I would rather die than turn stoic and cynical. I continue to seek the good in people and refuse to believe that anyone is a lost cause. I refuse to believe that changing the world is up to someone else and not up to me. I take the crises of humanity personally, but I don't know if it is me who is flawed or those who don't mourn personally for the loss of the moral character of each and every one of us. I don't know.

Transparency

People probably think I am too transparent with my life. You can pretty much find everything about me online. Although I don't tell everyone everything, I think if I am asked, I have little that I would actually hide. Mike has found it a little difficult to adjust to - being outed publicly every time he turns around. :-) Luckily, he loves me, and he has learned to just consider it cute.

I've been struggling lately to be productive. I have been tired, like usual. Mike has been less than 100% for quite some time now. I try my best to be understanding, but sometimes I get frustrated because when he is too tired to get anything done, it makes it hard for me to make myself do anything. It gets depressing when he just doesn't feel good all the time and there isn't anything I can do to help him.

He finished up his 48 hour EEG today, and we also requested that his doctor test him for Yellow fever and West Nile. They both have similar symptoms to what he is experiencing - if they get to the point of encephalitis. He had the Yellow fever vaccination earlier this year when he was traveling for work, and there was a minute risk that the vaccination could have the side effects of the actual virus. Also, he got completely eaten up by mosquitoes while we were helping clean up the pond before the wedding. However, only animal instances of West Nile have been reported in North Carolina. Leave it to Mike to get some strange disease - skin eating bacteria, diverticulitis, esophageal rings, and now whatever this is. You marry a guy, and he falls to pieces. Other than feeling like crap all the time, Mike is in good spirits. He is a sweetheart, and I have just been praying that he feels better soon.

Ah, now he walked into the room so I will be caught blogging about him. Mind went blank. Change subject.

The weather is getting cold here; it is a nice change for now, but I think it will get old after another month. I keep seeing pictures of Max growing up, and I am itching to go to Chicago to go see my newest nephew, Kim, and Tony. We also have to find some time to go see mom and Lisa and family.

Mike had bought me a new laptop for my birthday, but it sucked so we returned it. I was going to buy a tablet notebook, but since my brokerage account is down by about $20K, I think my old Dell laptop will have to suffice for a few more months. We still have credit card bills to pay off from the wedding. At least gas prices are in a normal range again - and there are actually gas stations with gas. We were stuck at home for a while.

Anything else interesting in my life to report? Hmmm. No, not really.

My Family is Broken

Ru_Daddy 004
Originally uploaded by pamela_j_karr

I couldn't resist taking this picture. Mike is hooked up to an EEG for two days. His doctor thinks he might have epilepsy, and we also came up with it possibly being Yellow Fever or West Nile today because the symptoms match. Still don't know. Ru's diagnosis is clear: he loves too much, and the rottweiler did not love him. :-(

Just When You Think Your Neighborhood is Safe

Ru 007
Originally uploaded by pamela_j_karr

So, Ru was in the backyard yesterday while we were logged in to the McCain Super Saturday phone call. I guess Tom must have left the gate open when he mowed the lawn. Well, Ru usually is a good boy about staying in the backyard even if the gate is open. However, he saw a guy walking his dog, and got excited. He ran to go play with the dog (a Rottweiler) and this is what happened. Poor Ru.

The guy told her that Ru "attacked" his dog. Yeah, right. This guy walks his dog and lets him poop all over everyone's yard and never picks up after him. He didn't even knock on our door to see if Ru was okay.

The thing is that it could have been a kid who wanted to play with his dog. That's just dangerous.

We are going to get springs for the gates to make sure they stay closed from now on. Ru has a satellite dish on his head and a drain because the bite was so deep. :-(

Racism

I am scared for our country. I feel more racial tension today than when I lived in Mississippi, and they called me Ching Chong in junior high. They thought my family and I were witches because we had a black cat and that we ate dog because we were Chinese. I feel more racial tension than when I moved to St. Petersburg, Florida shortly after the St. Pete riots. And this just feels wrong. It doesn't feel like hope.

I know racism existed before this election, and I know it will exist after this election. But the problem is that somehow this Presidential election has become all about race. Even if you aren't racist, you are now considered so. Even if you have fought against racism, all your efforts were in vain.

I wrote a response to an accusation that white people don't get why Obama is so important for blacks. I said that Obama doesn't represent the black people I know. The black people I know work extremely hard for their money - as hard or harder than white people I know - and would never think about forcing wealthy people to give the government money to give them a hand out. But, then that comment is considered racist as well.

I am angry that this election has made this country take a step backwards. No matter what color you are, you should be allowed to question both candidates and get intelligent answers. The mud slinging by the American citizens has gotten far more caustic than the ads run by either of the political campaigns. That's when you know when something is drastically wrong.

How do we fix this? Will it all just go away after the election or will it just get worse?

What we do and do not know . . .

Burr, Richard
217 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING
WASHINGTON DC 20510

Dole, Elizabeth
555 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING
WASHINGTON DC 20510

Dear Senators Burr and Dole,

We know all about Joe the Plumber. We know that his real first name is Sam and that his last name is Wurzelbacher. We know that he doesn’t have a plumber’s license, owes back taxes, and may even have a case against him for domestic battery. And all Joe did was ask, “Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn’t it?”

What we don’t know is if Obama violated the Logan Act which declares it treason to confer with foreign governments against the interests of the United States when he campaigned and possibly raised money for Odinga in Kenya whose rise to power ultimately resulted in the death of 1,500 people. Odinga’s campaign was for radical socialist change with wealth distribution in Kenya.

We don’t know how much money was funneled into (and for what causes) liberal organizations such as the Chicago Woods Fund, ACORN, the Chicago Annenberg Challenge, and Trinity Church during Obama’s 10 year relationship with domestic terrorist Bill Ayers or 20 year membership at Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s church. Trinity Church preaches Black Liberation Theology and radical race separatism. Wright once said, “Racism is how this country was founded and how this country is still run! We [in the U.S.] believe in white supremacy and black inferiority and believe it more than we believe in God.” Interestingly enough, the far left sentiments I read on the church’s website last week have been replaced with a completely new, mainstream website I found today. Other files associating Obama and Ayers have also been removed during the past week from the Woods Fund and Democratic Socialists of America (DSA) websites.

We don’t know if Obama is truly an American citizen eligible to run for President. His birth certificate was filed under Barry Soetoro, the surname of his adoptive father from Indonesia. There are claims that Indonesia did not allow dual citizenship until 2007 which means Obama would have had to give up his US citizenship to attend school in Indonesia.

We don’t know the extent of Obama’s 16 year involvement with Tony Rezko, a Chicago slumlord who campaigned for Obama and was indicted for soliciting kickbacks in 2006. We don’t know much about his relationship with John McKnight except that McKnight got him into Harvard Law School, gave him his first job as a community organizer, and was a disciple of Saul Alinsky, radical Socialist. We also don’t know much about his relationship with Rev. Jim Wallis, Fred Davis, Rahid Khalidi, and other radical liberals.

We do know that Obama endorsed Bernie Sanders, the first publicly declared Democratic Socialist elected to the US Senate. This is where I first heard Obama talk about change: “Sometimes we get disheartened and sometimes we pullback and we say you know what nothing is going change and yet when you look a these two men standing beside me it's an indication in fact that things can change.”

We do know that Obama believes that “we've got to make sure that people who have more money help the people who have less money,” and “we need to spread the wealth around.” He ensures us that when he is President, “we’ll ensure that economic justice is served."

We know that Obama’s tax plan guarantees a distribution of wealth where the top 1% of the nation would pay more tax that the bottom 80% of Americans combined. However, less than 50% of the "middle class tax break" actually goes to the middle class tax payer. The rest goes to people who pay no taxes at all or those making $93,000 to $192,000 a year.

We know that two-thirds of small business (sole proprietorships, partnerships, S-corporations, and family farms) profits are earned in households making more than $250,000 per year and that Obama’s tax plan may tax their earnings up to 54.9% (the individual tax rate will climb from 35% to 39.6% and the Social Security/Medicare tax rate could climb from 2.9% to 15.3%. Put those together, and you get 54.9%). This 54.9% tax rate would be the highest since the Carter Administration, when America suffered through double-digit inflation and unemployment. America's 26 million small businesses employers give a paycheck to 116 million employees. When small business taxes go up, millions of these employees will be at risk of being laid off.

Intrinsically, we know that radical Socialism is not superior to reformed Capitalism. We know that the US is founded on the idea of the “American Dream” which is the belief in the freedom to achieve our goals (often wealth as a form of prosperity) through hard work. We also know that the economic growth of our country is more important than the fact that we might get an extra tax break of our own.

We all know that Obama has a charismatic personality with a decisiveness and power not found in his political opponents. He makes promises of a new nation and of change. But do we really know what that change really means?

During no other time in history has the background of a Presidential candidate been so controversial yet so glossed over. It took a Plumber from Ohio to say the covert word “Socialism” that we had all been thinking before McCain could even question his opponents’ stance on the issue. Because, we all know, if McCain had said it first, he would have surely been accused of treachery. Socialism is a policy, not a character flaw. We need to know the extent of Senator Obama plans to impose this ideology on our country before he is elected President (which I can only hope he is not). Yet all probing questions have simply been silenced. I have been respectful of Obama supporters, have not used fowl language, and have refrained from any personal attacks. However, when I have questioned Senator Obama’s readiness to be my President, Obama supporters have called me racist, dumb, fat, uncompassionate, a liar, a brick wall, out of my mind, greedy, undesirable to men, and a whacked out bitch. After simply comparing timelines for Palin and Obama’s experience, I was told that “I hope you die a slow and agonizing death you worthless piece of shit.” I guess I know how Joe feels. Is this what Senator Obama meant by, “I want you to argue with them and get in their face?”

Senators Dole and Burr, as my representatives in Senate, I am counting on you to make sure Obama is thoroughly put through the vetting process, and that we can still invoke our First Amendment rights to free speech. Currently, there is no law requiring background checks for President of the United States, yet in some states felons are stripped of the right to vote. Therefore, men and women who do not even have the privilege of voting could in fact run for President. I am not suggesting that Senator Obama has a criminal background, but I do want answers to all the questions concerned citizens have been asking about his socialist ideologies and troubling entourage of friends and business partners. I believe an FBI investigation is not only appropriate but necessary. With his practically unlimited source of funding and media’s bias slant, I simply don’t know the truth. However, I refuse to accept ignorance as comfort and will continue to search for the facts; hopefully, I won’t be alone. Americans have the right to an informed vote, and unfortunately, it may already be too late for that. I am truly concerned about my families’ future and the future of this great Nation.

*** Note: This letter was originally written by me (Pamela Karr Wisniewski). However, you are welcome to copy the letter to send to your state's US Senators. ***

We Will Call Her Limpy

Poor Scuro has to go to the vet tomorrow because she has been limpy for about a week now. However, she is a tough little kitty and continues to perform her nightly duties of mashing and fluff-heading us as we sleep.

In other news, we adopted some ducks from the Carolina Waterfowl Rescue for the Ferguson's pond.


Let's see, what else? Mike had an echo-cardiogram today and is all hooked up to a heart monitor. He won't be very cuddly tonight.

I am happy with my new department at school. It doesn't make me cry, and I feel like I am actually getting help to be productive.

My 29th birthday went over without a hitch - other than the fact that I am now another year older. :-(

I joined the National Arbor Day Foundation for $15, and they are going to send me 10 flowering trees. I thought that was pretty cool. You should get some free trees too!

I think Mike will be watching his Notre Dame game as I read qualifying exam articles tomorrow. This, of course, will be after we take Scuro the Limpy to the vet. Boy, will she be mad at us.

82% of Statistics are made up on the spot . . .

Some issues with the 90% statistic referring to McCain voting with Bush:
-The majority of Senate votes are unanimous consent votes
-Obama leaves out 2005 when McCain only voted with Bush 77% of the time
-Based on the same comparison, Obama votes with the Democratic party 97% of the time, rarely showing bipartisanship. On the other hand, McCain has voted with his party (since 1987) only 83% of the time.

77% for a Republican voting with Republicans seems reasonable to me. Obama has voted with Bush about 40% of the time and Biden 52% of the time, and they are Democrats. And when they say McCain voted with Bush 90% of the time, that only includes 22% of the votes during Bush's presidency. I agree that the term "Maverick" is a marketing ploy that is getting annoying, but the fact that McCain has shown bipartisan leadership is noteworthy. Democrats made up 55 percent of his political partners over the last two Congresses, including on the tough issues of campaign finance and global warming. For Obama, Republicans were only 13 percent of his co-sponsors during his time in the Senate, and he had his biggest bipartisan successes on noncontroversial measures, such as issuing a postage stamp for Rosa Parks.

Obama and Socialism

"We've got to make sure that people who have more money help the people who have less money," Sen. Obama said. "If you had a whole pizza, and your friend had no pizza, would you give him a slice?"

Definition of Socialism: Socialism refers to a broad set of economic theories of social organization advocating state or collective ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods, and the creation of an egalitarian society.

Dell Complaint

**** UPDATE ******

In all fairness to Dell, after we wrote and sent them this letter, they allowed us to return the laptop. They said it would take 30 days for the refund to go through, so we are still waiting for that. So, the moral of the story is, write to customer service- don't bother trying to talk to one of the customer service reps over the phone. I don't think they have the autonomy to issue refunds and are impossible to talk with.

**** UPDATE ******

Michael Dell
Dell Corporate Headquarters
Dell Computer Inc.
One Dell Way
Round Rock TX 78682

“It's through curiosity and looking at opportunities in new ways that we've always mapped our path at Dell. There's always an opportunity to make a difference.” –Michael Dell

Michael Dell/Customer Service:

As an IT professional, I have been a loyal Dell customer for over six years; my last four laptops have been Dell. I purchase a new laptop approximately every 2-3 years, and that system is usually close to the top-of-the-line available on the market. My husband is also an IT professional and has purchased numerous Dell products. In the past, we have been very happy with your product and your customer service.

We recently purchased a Dell XPS M1530 on 8/25/2008 which we received on 9/9/2008. We previously contacted Dell because we were unhappy with the glossy display, and they told us that they couldn’t help us. Today, 9/28/2008, we contacted Dell because the hard drive failed, and the computer will no longer boot properly. Overall, we are extremely dissatisfied with the system and would like to replace it with a different Dell system. However, we were informed that we could not return the system because the 21 days from invoice date (9/5/2008) had expired (by two days). It has been less than 21 days since the receipt of the laptop (9/9/2008 – 9/28/2008). We received an email confirming purchase of the system on 9/6/2008, but at no time did we receive a document that was entitled “Invoice.” Since the term invoice is ambiguous and the dating of the invoice is rather random, it only makes sense to honor the return based on when the system was signed for and received. Furthermore, Dell should handle this problem because a brand new laptop hard drive should not fail within the first month after it was built.

You are about to lose a loyal customer of six years over a dispute of two days. I am losing valuable data and software applications due to Dell’s poor product quality of this particular system. We have invested a lot of time and money getting this laptop up to working condition, and now all that is going to waste.

I am also unhappy with your level of customer service. Previously, when I dealt with Dell customer service, they were always able to help me resolve my problem. Now, all I keep hearing is no and why nothing can be done. Your representatives have difficulty understanding even basic issues that we want resolved because of language barriers, and we keep getting put on hold and passed around to the next representative because no one takes the accountability to do the right thing. That is unacceptable.

I would like to see the Dell I used to know come back and remedy this situation. I switched from IBM brand laptops to Dell because of an IBM customer service failure with a lemon of a laptop. I encouraged family, friends, and colleagues not to buy IBM ThinkPads (while they were still on the market) due to my experience. I don’t want this to happen with Dell because of my experience with the new XPS M1530. I am actually typing this letter on my old laptop, a Dell Latitude D610. If this issue is not resolved, I will be filing a complaint with the Better Business Bureau and Consumer Affairs. And, I will no longer be a Dell customer. I would like to continue my relationship with Dell as a loyal customer, but I would like to see that Dell is still loyal to its customers as well.

“Our business is about technology, yes. But it's also about operations and customer relationships.” – Michael Dell

Sincerely,
Pamela Karr Wisniewski


**** UPDATE ******

In all fairness to Dell, after we wrote and sent them this letter, they allowed us to return the laptop. They said it would take 30 days for the refund to go through, so we are still waiting for that. So, the moral of the story is, write to customer service- don't bother trying to talk to one of the customer service reps over the phone. I don't think they have the autonomy to issue refunds and are impossible to talk with.

**** UPDATE ******

What you would do as president to lead this country out of the financial crisis?

McCain

• Well, the first thing we have to do is get spending under control in Washington.


• Examine every agency of government


• Eliminate ethanol subsidies


• Defense spending - do away with cost-plus contracts and have fixed-cost contracts


• Spending freeze on everything but defense, veteran affairs and entitlement programs


• Obama has $800 billion in new spending programs. I would suggest he start by canceling some of those new spending program that he has.
  

Obama

• We've got to grow the economy from the bottom up. What I've called for is a tax cut for 95 percent of working families, 95 percent.


• We have to have energy independence


• Invest in alternative energy, solar, wind, biodiesel


• Making sure that we're developing the fuel-efficient cars of the future right here in the United States


• Fix our health care system


• Make sure that we're competing in education


• Invest in science and technology


• College is affordable for every young person in America


• Rebuild our infrastructure


• Have a new electricity grid to get the alternative energy to population centers


• Investing in energy in order to free ourselves from the dependence on foreign oil


• Increase early childhood education


• We have to look at bringing that war to a close

What I don't get is how Obama is going to fund all of this amid a financial crisis - unless he is going to raise taxes or is making empty promises.

Quote of the Day

''These two entities -- Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac -- are not facing any kind of financial crisis,'' said Representative Barney Frank of Massachusetts, the ranking Democrat on the Financial Services Committee. ''The more people exaggerate these problems, the more pressure there is on these companies, the less we will see in terms of affordable housing.'' Representative Melvin L. Watt, Democrat of North Carolina, agreed. ''I don't see much other than a shell game going on here, moving something from one agency to another and in the process weakening the bargaining power of poorer families and their ability to get affordable housing,'' Mr. Watt said.

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9E06E3D6123BF932A2575AC0A9659C8B63&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=print

My Footprints

Tuesday, Hey!

9 AM: Woke up, ate breakfast, checked email
10 AM: Paid bills, decluttered office space, uploaded more wedding pictures
10:45 AM: Contacted Atlas ti support, emailed professors
11:10 AM: Added Arc Map design flaws based on yesterday's coding (which may have all been in vain)
11:45 AM: Updated wiki and Google Docs organization
1 PM: Stopped for lunch, sigh, we really need to go to the grocery store. Lunch meat and no bread. Not much else to eat for lunch. Loaded dishwasher, faxed UNC health center to transfer medical records. Yay! Got my early birthday present in the mail - a new laptop, on hold with Walgreens to transfer prescriptions, updated to do list
2:45 PM: Get ready to go to class
3:30 PM: Class
5 PM: Home, went shopping for baby shower supplies, ate dinner at Panera
7 PM: Home again, Mike's tummy is hurting him, we took a nap
8:30 PM: Woke up, watched some tv, did some set up stuff on my new laptop, checked email, planned some for tomorrow


Pam!

Not so Manic Monday

9:45 AM: Woke up, checked email, read headlines, drank diet Coke with Splenda
10 AM: Breakfast, made bed, showered
11 AM: Data analysis
1 PM: Ate lunch, back to analysis
8:30 PM: Ate dinner, back to analysis
10 PM: Stopped data analysis

(9.5 hours logged for school)

Pam!

Another Day

8:30 AM: Woke up, Mike feeling better (must have been a stomach bug instead of the flu proper)
8:45 AM: Ate PB&J and coffee for breakfast
9:15 AM: Showered
12:30 PM: Lunch at Bear Rock Cafe
Most of the Day - Not much
6:30 PM: Had Mom, Jackie, and Phillipa over for dinner

(0 hours logged for school, 10 hours logged for week not including weekends)


Pam!

Sick Honey Head

8:30 AM: Woke up, checked email
9 AM: Ate PB&J for breakfast with Diet Coke, filled out Dr. paperwork
10:30 AM: Dr. appt, had to get blood drawn :-(
11:30 AM: Home, Mike back from his Dr. appt. sick with the flu, I have a bad headache, both resting
1 PM: Emailed advisors that I am staying home today
3:30 PM: Ate some gyoza
4 PM: Did some laundry
7 PM: Couples' massage
8 PM: Ate Wendy's hamburger and fries
8:30 PM: Watched Republican Convention, posted bamboo place card holders on eBay
11:45 PM: Went to bed

(0 hours logged for school)

Pam!

Sucks to be Me

My sister Kim's first published book, buy it on Amazon.com!!

More Video Trascription Day

8:30 AM: Woke up, ate breakfast
8:45 AM: Checked email
9 AM: Showered, got ready
10 AM: Chiropractor appt
10:45 AM: Back from Chiropractor, scheduled monthly massage, scheduled car inspection for tomorrow morning
11 AM: Started watching geovis videos and transcribing
11:30 AM: Took a break and opened packages that came in the mail
11:45 AM: Back to video transcription
2:30 PM: Mike brought me Nutella on toast with milk for lunch, continued transcription
3:15 PM: Starting getting ready for my appt on campus
4 PM: On-campus appt
4:30 PM: Drove home, called Tausha
4:45 PM: Got home, created web poll for group
5 PM: Napped
7 PM: Ate dinner (Mike cooked duck)
7:20 PM: Back to video transcription
7:50 PM: Finished participant 6 video
8 PM: Added Tiffany as a friend on Facebook, played around on Facebook for a while
8:20 PM: Started transcribing participant 7
10:45 PM: Finished participant 7, uploaded Google docs, wiki, and this blog
10:50 PM: Went downstairs to spend time with Mike

(7 hours logged for school)

Pam!

Tuesday

9:30 AM: woke up (couldn't get to sleep last night), had coffee and cereal
10 AM: Checked email, packaged up eBay item that I sold, tried to upload photos to Snapfish to make a mug (their site seems not to be working)
11 AM: Started watching Geovis videos
2 PM: Ate PB&J for lunch (side of Nutella)
3 PM: Got ready for class, talked to Lisa on the phone
3:30 PM: Visual Analytics class
5 PM: Talked to Tony on phone, got home, took a nap with Mike
6:20 PM: Woke up, Mike made lamb chops and I made red potatoes - ate them
7:30 PM: Finished dinner, finally got Snapfish to work
8 PM: Went to the Ferguson's to check on the lights, went to Coldstone for ice cream
8:45 PM: Picked up prescriptions at Walgreens, talked to Mom on the phone
9 PM: Got sucked into House, procrastinating on watching video, checking tomorrow's schedule to see if I really need to watch the rest of it tonight
11 PM: Went to bed

(3 hours logged for school)


Pam!

Sleepyhead Log

7:45 AM: Woke up, checked email, read some political news
8:15 AM: Coffee, pizza, Created shipping labels for wedding albums
9:30 AM: Went back to bed with Mike after he got home from Dr. appt
10:30 AM: Woke up again, packaging up wedding albums to send, uploaded Kristin's pictures from CD to Flickr
12:30 PM: Ate pizza for lunch
1 PM: Continued working on mailing stuff
2 PM: Showered and got ready
3 PM: Research seminar
4:30 PM: Got home
5 PM: Took a nap
6:45 PM: Woke up hungry, made Melting Pot reservation for 8 PM, looked at large turtle swimming in pond
7:30 PM: Went to the Melting Pot for cheese and chocolate (yum)
8:45 PM: Called mom on the way home, hung out with Mike
11:15 PM: Ate wedding cake (yum), checked email, paid credit card bill

(1 hour logged for school, 6.5 hours for the week not including weekends)

Goal for this weekend: watch 2 geovis videos


Pam!

Wordle

Time in a Bloggle

It seems like I never have time to get everything done. Of course, I am sure that this isn't a problem isolated to just me. So, I am going to try to keep a daily log of what the heck I actually do every day, starting today.

8:30 AM: Woke up, checked email
9 AM: Checked class website, downloaded Tableau
9:30 AM: Ate breakfast (Pizza Hut pizza, later Lucky Charms), showered, made bed
10 AM: Paid Dr. bill, made Dr. appt. (why are my big toes numb?), Created plan for watching Geovis videos and reading qualifying exam articles, looked at baby shower cakes for Amy and Angela
10:45 AM: Cuddled with Mike in big chair, drank a cup of coffee
11 AM: Reread CHI paper outline
11:30 AM: Sent in PhD progress report, mailed panoramic X-Ray to TMJ specialist
12 PM: Lunch (PB&J sandwich), installed Tableau
1 PM: Met with Erin and Okan
2 PM: Geovis meeting
2:30 PM: Checked GASP
3:30 PM: Class
5 PM: HCI meeting
6:45 PM: Got home, Mike made dinner
7 PM: Ate dinner, vegged on couch
8:30 PM: Tried to nap, cuddled with purr-head Scuro
9:30 PM: Got up from nap, Mike fed Ru, squeezed a huge zit starting to form on my chin
10 PM: Packaged wedding photo books for bridal party, updated blog
10:30 PM: Figured I should get off the computer

(5.5 hours logged for school)

Pam!

Hottest Picture of Mike EVER!

Here is a picture of my *husband* when he was either in the last years of high school or first years of college. Sorry, just had to share this yumminess. ;-)


Sorry for not updating this blog lately. Too much going on. Take a look at the wedding blog.

Seasons

ARE YOU A REASON, A SEASON, OR A LIFETIME?

(Note from one of my best friends)
This is a message you sent me ages ago, I found it
while digging through old emails and it made me smile.
I just wanted to share that smile with you. To me
you have always been and always will be a friend for a
lifetime. You have taught me more than you know,
brought me greater joy than I can express, and I love
you more than any words I will be able to find.

When someone is in your life for a REASON. . .
It is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support, to aid
you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They
may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are
there for the reason you need them to be. Then,
without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do
something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer
you sent up has been answered. And now it is time
to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON.
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you
laugh. They may teach you something you have never
done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a
season.


LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime
lessons: things you must build upon in order to have
a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept
the lesson, love the person, and put what you have
learned to use in all other relationships and areas
of your life. It is said that love is blind but
friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life!!!
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
And dance like no one is watching.

Catching Curly

Curly lives on the window sill in the living room. Muhammed gave him to me as a housewarming present. Well, I was trying to open the window, and off falls Curly. So, I try to catch him; however, I was unsuccessful. Alas, you see, Curly is a cactus.

Now I have little cactus thorns embedded in my fingers. They go well with the poison ivy I have on my thigh. Then some large spider or other scary bug bit me right on top of my poison ivy. I think I have a leech suck spot on my ankle that also got bitten by a mosquito. Mike and I both have mosquito bites all over from camping and from dredging the pond. We are a mess. :-) Just in time for the wedding!

Cats are on the office floor bathing.

One Month

We have exactly one month until the wedding. While most things are done, we still have quite a few things to do. Ahhh!

In other news, Mike sold his Porsche, and we bought a 2005 Nissan Xterra. After we recoup from the wedding expenses, we can actually get kayaks now!

Research with my new advisors in the SIS department is going much better. I feel like I am actually making a contribution. I will definitely have to ramp up the time spent on research after the wedding.

The animals are doing well. Ru is a lot less crazy than he used to be. Ra is currently sitting on my lap purring with his chin on my left hand. It looks like he is reading what I am typing. Scuro has been a little pukey lately, so we took her to the vet. She is on an antibiotic for a few days. I need to go get her some better flavored hairball medicine.

A few weekends ago, we went for a quick camping trip in the Smoky Mountains. You can go to our Flickr photo gallery to check out the pictures.


Mike has made friends with Mr. Ferguson who lives behind us. We have been trying to help him with the algae problem in the smaller pond. Here is a picture of him rowing in the pond and spraying the weeds. You can go to Flickr to see the rest of the pictures.

Sleepy Pam

The results of my sleep study came back. Evidentially, I have obstructive sleep apnea and limb movements which resulted in an average of 3.2 brief arousals per sleep hour. (Mike did his Beavis and Butthead impression when he read "arousals," but that was NOT what the sleep study was referring to.) According to the study, I am only 82.5% sleep efficient and awoke 34 times during a night's sleep. Also, they did not record any REM sleep, but they said that was probably due to medications I am taking. So that is at least some explanation to why I am so sleepy all the time. Now I just have to see what they can do to fix it.

Hair and Make Up

Makeup 021
Originally uploaded by pamela_j_karr

Here is a picture of Mike and I after I got my wedding hair and make-up consultation.

Double Tree Room 668

Well, I am sitting in bed at the Double Tree Hotel near South Park Hotel being observed for my sleep study. They are going to attempt to wake me up at 6 AM in the morning. Hehe. I splurged the $9.95 to buy Internet access for the night. I wonder if they will let me browse the Internet when I wake up at 4 AM. I wasn't supposed to nap today, but I think I accidentally napped for a little while after my personal training session. My upper body is going to be really sore tomorrow. I will miss Mike, Ra, and Scuro tonight. However, I brought Job and green blanket with me.

Been working on getting participants for a study we are running in my new department. Also been doing some wedding planning. Need to do some more. We are almost done with RSVPs. Right now, we have 124 adults and 20 kids.

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

Argh. I am either too sleepy or can't sleep. No happy medium. Oh well. My bridal shower is later today, and I am excited about that. Went to the YMCA yesterday for my first personal trainer appointment and to set up my FitLinxx account.

New Orleans Smells Like Pee

Mike had a NCTA trade show (broadcast industry - I warned him to stay clear of all the naked people) in New Orleans, so I went with him this weekend. He was starting to get in trouble for being away on business trips so often . . . I started a spreadsheet. Anyway, on Sunday, we went on a bus tour which went through some of historic New Orleans and ended in the 9th Ward showcasing some of the disaster left in the wake of Katrina. It was pretty crazy.

After the tour, we took a nap (always the highlight of my day), then we walked around the French Quarter. We found a Lush store and bought some fizzy balls, a discovery that I first made in Los Angeles and have only been able to buy off of Amazon ever since. We ate at a restaurant called Mr. B's Bistro which was awesome. While there, someone mistook me for "Diane from idol." I gave her a confused look and said who? I looked it up on the Internet, and the closest thing I could find is a girl named Diana DeGarmo who was on American Idol (born in 1987 - a baby!).

I stayed in the hotel on Monday, and after Mike got back from the trade show, we went to Luke's which is a not-so-good restaurant near the hotel. Especially compared to the restaurant we ate at the night before, it was more expensive and not as good. Yuck.

I woke up having weird nightmares, so here I am blogging at 3 in the morning.

Yesterday, May 19th, was Tausha's birthday. I usually call and leave her a message on her birthday, but I missed it this year. She is one of my best friends from junior high school in Mississippi.

Rain Barrels

CharMeck is selling rain barrels from $85-$100 which is a little cheaper than you can get them at the local home improvement stores. The drought conditions in Charlotte, NC seem to reoccur annually so I thought this was a good idea.

However, we bought rain barrels from another company called RainBarrel.Net because we thought their rain barrels were a lot prettier.


So this was just a short blog about how Pam and Mike are going a little greener.

My Sleepyhead

All is right in the world again. Mike got home this morning, and he is currently sound asleep in bed. And when I say sound, that means sound - kind of like a little kid pretending he sunk a battleship in the bath tub. Hehe, he is soo cute.

Email Thread I Came Across

From: Pamela Karr [mailto:pam@pamspam.com]

We dinn all the time.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: RE: Painter

;) you are a dork, its kinda cute

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Pamela Karr [mailto:pam@pamspam.com]
Sent: Thursday, June 08, 2006 1:44 PM
Subject: RE: Painter

Main Entry: 2din
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): dinned; din·ning
intransitive senses : to make a loud noise
transitive senses
1 : to assail with loud continued noise
2 : to impress by insistent repetition -- often used with into


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sent: Thursday, June 08, 2006 1:38 PM
To: Pamela Karr
Subject: RE: Painter

No I was thinking more like the dinning room actually

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Pamela Karr [mailto:pam@pamspam.com]
Sent: Thursday, June 08, 2006 1:36 PM
Subject: RE: Painter


How about the dining room?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sent: Thursday, June 08, 2006 1:32 PM
To: Pamela Karr
Subject: RE: Painter



I emailed him about it…we will finish the dinning room tonight


GW

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Pamela Karr [mailto:pam@pamspam.com]
Sent: Thursday, June 08, 2006 1:02 PM
Subject: Painter


Can you get the painter name from Andrew?

Wisniewski-Berry Trip

We went to Grand Rapids, Michigan this weekend to visit Mike's family. It was a great trip! Above are pictures of Mike and his grandparents. If you want to see all the pictures from the trip, click here!

100

We officially only have 100 more days until our wedding! We received our guestbook in the mail today, and it looks great! Yay! Things are moving along quite well.

I switched from BISOM to SIS, and I am so far very happy with the change. I feel like I will actually be able to get my PhD after all.

Mike's job is going pretty well, and the house is looking good. However, the yard still needs more work. Hopefully we will have grass again by August.

Recommended Contractors in Charlotte, NC

Keith Sellers - Painter (704) 451-4774. He and his team can edge better than any other painters I have ever worked with.

Stan Johnson - Electrician (704) 458-7751. He does work for the Charlotte-Douglas airport. His prices are very reasonable.

Jim Bridges - Plumber (704) 746-1645. He has done a great job on all the projects he has done for us.

Erica Anders - Pet Sitter (704) 340-6603. She takes care of Ru, Ra, and Scuro when we are out of town. Very professional.

BTR Roofing - Roof Repair (704) 537-7837.

David Medlin - Land Survey (704) 454-5541.

Vachik - Charlotte Concrete Resurfacing (704) 975-0466.

Jeff Moss - Countrywide Refinancing (704) 724-2875.

Greg with Molly Maid - Housekeeping (704) 536-6243.


These are contractors that we have experiences problems with. Therefore, you may want to hire them with caution.

Ronnie Hedgeco
Clayton Landscaping
PetSmart Pet Grooming
Time Warner Cable
Sprint
Daniel Stowe Botanical Gardens special events
Mama Ricotta's Catering
Favors Frenzy

Smile

Some things that make me smile:

-Hearing from a friend after losing touch for some time
-Ra snoring
-Scuro bringing us fluff heads
-Ru's wiggle but
-Being silly with Mike
-Talking to my nieces and nephew on the phone
-Seeing new pictures of baby Max

Yay!!

Mike is coming home from Las Vegas tonight! He will find that the landscaping people have made a mess of the yard, but hopefully they will be making more progress in the next few days.

Here is a picture of my nephew Max - just because he is soo cute.


Mike and I want to have two kids starting in about 2-3 years. Ru, Ra, and Scuro are keeping us busy enough in the meantime!

Updated Kitchen

House 005
Originally uploaded by pamela_j_karr

Here is a picture of our newly updated kitchen. Mike did it all himself! We still have to put in the tile backsplash, but I think it looks awesome! I need to find a before picture to show the difference . . .

Charlotte 052
Originally uploaded by pamela_j_karr

Okay, here is the before picture of the kitchen. See the difference?!

Wedding Stuff

You can read all about this on our wedding blog, but here are our highlights . . .

Engagement Portraits - We had our portraits made yesterday, and they came out really well. Yay!



Gift Registries - We are registered at Amazon.com, Target, and Lowes

Guest Information - Everything our guests need to know about our attending wedding

Guest List - So far, we have 84 friends and family attending our wedding. We are still waiting for all the RSVPs to come in!

Another Pam List

Things that are not so good:
PhD program
Pam's health
Pam's weight
Mike's health insurance program

Things that are okay:
Liquid finances
Relationship between cats and dog
Mike's health
Pearl's tires

Things that are good:
Home improvements
Wedding planning
Mike's Job
General finances
Mike's weight
Pets' health
Porsche in Boots

Things that are great:
Mike and Pam
My nephew Max
God

Reasons

Reasons to be thankful.

Mike. He is absolutely and completely wonderful. He loves and supports me in everything I do. I came home upset the other day, and he canceled his meetings at work to take care of me. He is sweet and intelligent and is always there for me.

Max. My new little nephew. He is completely adorable, and he makes me excited about the kids Mike and I will have in a few years.

My mom. I probably talk to her on the phone at least once a week. Although we have a rocky past, I completely just love her and want her to be happy. I love talking to her and sharing my life with her. I have learned to appreciate the good things that make her her. She is funny and a warm person. She works really hard, and she loves her daughters very much.

The animals. I am never alone. I just turned around, and sure enough Scuro is laying on the ottoman behind me. Sometimes it is Ra snoring on the floor or the wiggle-Ru waiting at the foot of the stairs to greet me. They are all beautiful and have adjusted pretty well to living together.

God. Mike and I pray together at night, and we just have to thank God for all the blessings he has given us. I don't think we could have ever found one another without Him. I look back at some of the obstacles in my life, and I realize that God was letting me go through them to shape me into the person I am now. He has always brought people into my life at the right times to keep me going.

Friends. I am not the most social person, but I have soo many friends. They might not even be people I talk to for years, but I know there are people I could call right now who would be there for me if I needed them. It is the fact that people care. There is a connection. No matter how busy everyone gets, there is acknowledgment of existence and mutual love.

Alternatives. Even though I have struggles right now, I am not painted into the corner. The world is a blank canvas, and I just have to decide what I want to do with it. So many people don't have options because something limits them in some way or another. It is good to know you have multiple positive choices even when you don't know which one is the right one to choose.

Qualifying Exam Update

I passed 2 out of 3 parts of my qualifying exams. I need to retake the closed book portion of the qualifying exam. I expected that since I didn't take 3 out of 4 of the classes that were being tested on for that section. Originally, the department waived those classes because they thought I had taken similar courses during my masters program. However, without actually knowing the content that was covered in my courses or me knowing the content covered in the UNCC courses, it was impossible to really make that call. It turns out that much of the material had no overlap, and I was trying to learn material that I had never seen before. So I am happy with the results. I guess I won't be ditching the PhD program just yet.

Pam Ra Ru

Here is the picture I sent Mike in San Diego to show him what he is missing here at home. The picture quality is pretty bad because I took it with my phone in a really low light.